The reason why I’m doing this article is because in the male self-improvement space, there are plenty of content creators advising people to leave their comfort zone in order to grow.
And the problem is, that this advice isn’t entirely wrong because in order to grow, whether physically or psychologically, you sometimes need to stretch, and you sometimes need to push yourself.
However, more discomfort doesn’t always equal more growth.
In fact, when it comes to your comfort zone, you should balance between entering it and leaving it.
You never fully leave it.
You alternate between the two, and this is what I’m going to be talking about in this article.
Treat Your Comfort Zone as a Recharge Station
In this article, I basically said that a little bit of stress in moderation is actually good for you.
Stress tends to become a problem when it is prolonged and you’re unable to recover from it, because that’s the sort of stress that will damage you.
The example I used in this article is somebody going to the gym and lifting weights.
In order for somebody to get stronger, they need to push themselves and challenge themselves. But they also need to rest and recover from that stress aswell.
You see, growth happens at the extremes
It happens when you’re pushing yourself, but it also happens at the opposite end of the spectrum, when you’re resting.
You could call this yin and yang.
So, to clarify:
Being in your comfort zone isn’t necessarily a problem. It becomes a problem when you spend too much time in it.
Know When Comfort Turns Into a Rut
So in the previous section of this article, I basically talked about using your comfort zone on purpose rather than out of habit.
And you might be reading this and be thinking to yourself, “Well, how do I know if I’m spending too much time in my comfort zone?”
My answer to that would be:
Go off your gut feeling.
Let’s say, for example, you’ve been doing something for a long period of time, but it’s no longer challenging you.
That is a sign that you’ve spent too much time in your comfort zone.
To use the weightlifting example, this could be somebody who’s been going to the gym for a couple of years, but every time he goes, he does the same exercises, the same reps, and lifts the same amount of weight.
What this person has probably noticed is that physically, he hasn’t really changed that much.
Another good example is boredom. If you’ve been doing something for a long period of time and it’s no longer mentally stimulating, that is also a very good sign that you’ve spent too much time in your comfort zone.
Remember, when it comes to your comfort zone, you want to alternate between the two.
You don’t permanently live in your comfort zone, but you don’t permanently live outside of it either.
Take Small Steps Outside, Not Giant Leaps
The analogy I like to use that perfectly describes this is a child learning to walk.
You know yourself that when a child is born, they cannot walk. They have to go through stages before they can, and the first stage is crawling.
A child first needs to learn how to crawl, and once they can crawl, they can then transition to walking.
And what you’ll notice during that transition is that they often fall many, many times before they can walk unassisted.
It’s as if, instinctively, a child knows that in order to walk, they have to take small steps (no pun intended).
Well, leaving your comfort zone works in a similar way. You don’t take giant leaps, you take small steps.
Step #1 Set a “Stretch Quota”
So the very first step is to set yourself a stretch quota.
Here’s how you do it:
Pick one thing that makes you slightly nervous or uncomfortable, and just do it. To keep things super simple, you only do that thing one time per week to begin with.
An example could be a weightlifter trying a new class at the gym. That new class might be yoga, and like I said, he only needs to attend one yoga class per week at the start.
Another example might be you, the reader, starting a YouTube channel.
A further example might be someone with social anxiety going to a supermarket and making small talk with the checkout lady.
You get the idea!
The key:
Is to not throw yourself in the deep end so to speak. It’s to put yourself in the shallow end, and as you become more confident, slowly move closer and closer to the deep end.
Step #2 Return to Comfort After You Stretch
Growth needs recovery.
Once you’ve pushed yourself and stretched, you purposefully go back to your comfort zone so you can absorb it.
Remember what I said earlier:
Growth happens in the extremes, It happens outside of your comfort zone, but it also happens when resting and chilling out.
You alternate between the two.
So think:
Moderate stress, recovery, then doing the activity again, but pushing yourself this time a little bit further than you did previously.
Step #3 Expand Your Comfort Zone Over Time
What you’ll tend to find is that if you do something repeatably again and again, and you recover from it, the thing that first made you uncomfortable, or even scared you, no longer has the same effect.
You desensitize to it. It becomes normalized.
A very good example of this:
Is let’s say you’ve got a guy who’s afraid of approaching women in a bar.
But because he has self-awareness and knows he has this problem, he decides to tackle it.
He slowly starts approaching women in a bar, and he gets rejected. But after a while, he notices that the rejection no longer stings the way it did at the start.
He’s recovered from it.
This is a perfect example of somebody expanding their comfort zone over time and it helping that individual.