Accept Life as It Is, Not as You Would Like It to Be
Radical Acceptance Means Embracing Reality
At some point in your life you’ve probably come across the following two phrases.
The first is:
“Ignorance is bliss”
We’ve all heard that one before.
The second is:
“What you don’t know won’t hurt you.”
And yes, while these phrases sound and feel good, are they actually helping anyone?
Because I’d argue that they’re not.
In fact I actually prefer the phrase:
“The truth will set you free, but at first it will piss you off.”
Because once you begin to accept reality as it is and confront the facts about life, that is a major sign of maturity.
It’s growth!
And this is what I’m going to be talking about in more detail.
So let’s get into the article.
#1 Don’t Ignore Life’s Realities
So let’s kick this off by discussing a few uncomfortable truths about life.
The first uncomfortable truth is that one day you are going to die — and so are your loved ones.
We’re only on this planet for a short period, and we’re all essentially living on borrowed time, so you’ve got to make the most of it.
The second uncomfortable truth is that your parents will disappoint you, or they probably already have.
Nobody was given a manual on how to be a parent, we’re all essentially just winging it. If you’re a parent yourself, you probably understand this on a deep level.
The third uncomfortable truth is that every relationship has an expiry date.
Sometimes the people who are with you at the start won’t be with you at the end. Relationships are temporary, just like your life on this planet.
The fourth truth is that you ain’t special. You might have been told otherwise as a child, but the reality is you’re one person among billions.
To put it another way, your poop stinks.
The fifth truth is, that you probably spend more time on your phone than you’d like to admit.
If you checked your phone settings and saw how much time you actually spend on it, it would probably pee you off.
All those hours, days, and weeks looking at that screen is time you will never get back.
I don’t know who you are or whether you have read my articles before, but I’m going to assume you appreciate this honesty.
Because let’s have it real:
We live in a world where most people sugarcoat the truth.
#2 Don’t Blame Others for Your Problems (It Makes You Powerless)
So do bad things happen to good people?
Absolutely.
This world that we live in is far from perfect, and you probably already know this.
For example, modern-day slavery still exists. There are children who don’t have access to basics such as food and running water. In some countries, women are still treated like second-class citizens.
I’m sure you’ll agree that none of those things should be happening—but they are.
The point I want to make is this:
We’ve all essentially been dealt a set of cards, and just like at a poker table, all we can do is play the hand we were given.
Seeing life as a game can help
Because if you are constantly blaming other people, you’re not taking responsibility or looking for solutions.
And let’s be honest:
Every single person, no matter who they are, has some problem or another.
That’s a fact of life.
And when dealing with problems, it’s often better to adopt a solution-oriented mindset.
Which basically means focusing on what you can do rather than what you can’t because more often than not, there is always a solution to a problem.
Is the solution always ideal or everything you want?
Sometimes no—but more often than not, there is a way forward.
#3 Let Go of Expecting Others to Change
Now let’s have it real:
What causes a lot of people pain in life is relationships and to be frank, it’s naive to think people will change for your sake.
Like I said earlier in the article, you are not special.
And this happens all the time in the real world, you see people getting into abusive relationships, even though they know full well that this person is bad news.
Some people hold this fantasy that they can change them.
The truth is, you can’t really change anyone.
The best you can do is nudge someone in the right direction, and even then they have to choose to change themselves — it has to come from within.
The unfortunate truth is that for many people who have had dysfunctional childhoods, those patterns tend to bleed into adult life.
I’ll share a personal example.
When I was at school there was a lad I was close to — I considered him my best friend. Around the age of eight or nine his dad died and he didn’t handle this well at all, and he changed.
By the time he was a teenager, around 13 or 14, he was using drugs and hanging around with the wrong people. It got to a point where I had to back off.
From what I later heard, he has done time in prison and now has problems with alcohol.
When I think back, that wasn’t the kid I knew at school before his father died — he used to come to class, put his head down, and do his work.
It’s really unfortunate.
This isn’t just true for friends; sometimes it’s true for family members, aswell.
With some people you need to keep them at arm’s length because of their own destructive behaviour.
The truth is, there’s only so much you can do for others.
#4 Don’t Assume That Others Share Your Interests or Goals
It’s that old saying that went around the internet years ago:
If you go on Facebook and announce you’ve just got a new job, you’ll get loads of engagement — likes, comments, congratulations.
Now, say years later you go on Facebook and post you’ve started a new business.
It’s crickets. Nobody says a word.
You could argue the reason is that we’ve all been given a life script:
Go to school, get an education, get a job, get married, have kids. So if you’re somebody who goes against the grain, it’s naive to expect everyone to support your goals.
The key is to find like-minded people.
One of the benefits of the internet and the times we live in now, is that you can find your tribe and community online.
I’ll use this website as a prime example:
It’s all about self-improvement, however in the real world I rarely talk about self-improvement, because the average person isn’t interested.
In person I usually talk about sports, politics (if the person is sound minded), the weather just general stuff.
So if you are looking for an online community and my content just happens to resonate with you, feel free to subscribe and check out the articles that I have written.