The very first thing I want to get across in this article is that these do's and don'ts predominantly apply to the initial stages of getting to know somebody.
And what you'll tend to find is that as you get to know the person a little bit better and as the relationship progresses, you can actually break some of these rules.
So please keep that in mind.
Also worth mentioning, is that every girl is different, and different people depending on their upbringing and background respond to different things.
So again, please keep that in mind.
These rules are general guidelines, and common sense must be applied.
#1 Do Text With the Purpose of Meeting Up
This might seem really obvious to some, but it's a trap I fell into earlier on in my life:
And that is constantly texting.
My reasoning was that frequent messages would keep me on top of her mind.
But the truth is, that during the initial stages of getting to know someone, you shouldn't really be texting all the time.
Why?
Because you want to meet up face-to-face and communicate in the real world.
The last thing you want to be doing, is to be going back and forth for a long periods of time, texting like pen pals.
Remember face-to-face communication is what matters most, and the purpose of texting is to facilitate this.
#2 Do Keep Text Messages Short on Too the Point
And this really follows on from the previous point:
And that is, you want to text with purpose, but you also want to keep your text messages nice and short.
Look at it this way:
If she's busy with loads going on, she can just pick up her phone and quickly read your message and respond.
And that is what you want.
So aim for 3-4 lines maximum.
And you'll probably agree with me when I say this and that is:
There's nothing worse than picking up your phone, looking at a text message, and thinking to yourself, 'I've got to read an essay here.'
It's too time-consuming.
So keep your messages short and to the point.
#3 Do Ring Her if a Long Conversation Is Needed
Sometimes, what you’ll actually find is that it’s better to get on a phone call—or even better, a video call.
Many women (not all) prefer this before meeting up with a guy.
One of the benefits of a video call is that not only can you hear the person’s voice, but you can also see their facial expressions and body language.
Additionally, you get a direct response.
So, if you’re arranging to meet someone, sometimes jumping on a video call is the best thing to do.
And with regards to long term relationships, when it comes to discussing more sensitive or complex topics… without a shadow of a doubt it’s better to jump on a phone call, then it is to be texting like pen pals.
#4 Do Use Emojis and Gifs
One of the biggest problems with traditional text-based messaging is that there's a slight emotional disconnect. (Can’t see facial expressions etc.)
I briefly touched on this in my previous point about getting on a video call.
However there are 2 things you can do to add more emotion to your text messages:
Use emojis
Use GIFs
Not only do emojis and GIFs make text messages more readable, but they also make them more memorable.
In the initial stages of getting to know someone, this is particularly valuable because she's likely getting messages from other guys as well.
So it can be a good way to stand out from the competition.
#5 Don’t Double Text
This rule definitely applies to the initial stages of getting to know somebody, and that is:
Don't double text.
I'm just going to be honest with you - my assumption is that if I'm texting a girl outside of working hours (outside a 9-to-5 schedule), I'm going to automatically assume that she's seen that message.
Why?
Because we all carry our phones in our pockets and we are all trained, like Pavlov's dog, to pick up our phones whenever we hear a notification ding.
So, 9 times out of 10, it's safe to assume that she's seen that message.
Therefore, at the VERY start, never double text.
Not only is it annoying, but also, especially if you don't know the girl well, it can come across as a little bit invasive.
Give people the opportunity to live and breathe, and this leads me perfectly to the next point.
#6 Don’t Call if the Last Text Was Ignored
In my earlier days, sometimes I'd be texting a girl and then all of a sudden, communication would just cut off.
Then what I would do is start going through all these scenarios in my head, thinking to myself, "What have I done wrong?"
So when I say this, I'm really talking to my younger self and that is don't make the call.
And just to give you the heads-up, it's actually estimated that roughly 60 to 70% of communication is nonverbal.
Some experts even suggest that number is higher—with some saying it's as high as 90%.
So if a girl doesn't text you back, that is a form of communication.
But here's the thing:
Just because a girl doesn't text you back, it doesn't mean she's not interested. She might just have a lot going on that day—she might be stressed from work, or she might have things going on in her life, at that moment in time.
She may at that particular time just not have the mental bandwidth to text you and that is perfectly fine.
However, at the same time, it could also mean that she's not interested.
So you've kind of got to read between the lines.
#7 Don’t Chase if Ghosted. Hold Your Self-Respect and Delete Her Number
This really touches on the point I made in the previous section of the article:
The majority of communication is non-verbal.
Let’s say, for example, that you’ve been texting a girl and you’ve gone 7 days without speaking to each other because you followed the no double-text rule.
If a girl hasn’t texted you within the last seven days, she’s probably not interested in seeing you.
Many dating gurus try to complicate dating, but I’m going to keep it simple:
If a girl likes you, she’ll make your life as easy as possible. She’ll drop hints and text back within a reasonable timeframe.
Trust me, you’ll know if a girl is into you.
So for the sake of your sanity and self-respect, if a girl ghosts you for whatever reason, the best thing you can do is delete her number and move on.