Self Awareness: A Quality Held by Few
There Is No Self Improvement Without Self Awareness
I’m going to be really honest with you:
I was humming and hawing about whether to even write this article. And the reason is simple, self-awareness isn’t exactly the most exciting topic.
It ain’t sexy.
But because this website is geared towards self-improvement, I thought to myself,
“I’d be doing you a disservice if I didn’t talk about it.”
Because here’s the truth:
When you improve your self-awareness, it can change your life for the better.
When you know yourself on a deeper level, you simply start making better decisions.
In other words it’s a superpower.
For example, so many people stay in jobs they hate—partly due to a lack of self-awareness.
I’m not saying it’s the only reason, but it’s definitely one of them.
It’s the same with relationships. Countless people stay in ones that no longer serve them. Again, a lack of self-awareness can play a big part.
So before I dive into strategies with regards to improving self-awareness, let’s first define it, that way we’re both on the same page.
What is Self-Awareness?
Self-awareness is basically what it says on the tin:
It’s awareness of self.
And here’s the thing you need to be aware of—there are actually two types.
The first is internal self-awareness; the second is external self-awareness.
Internal self-awareness is knowing who you are.
It’s understanding how your emotions impact your decisions, It’s knowing your values, your strengths and weaknesses, and your internal motivations.
To put it simply, it’s knowing what makes you tick as a human being.
External self-awareness is understanding how people in your environment see you and then using that information to get along with them.
For example, the behavior and language acceptable on a building site aren’t necessarily acceptable in an office environment.
Someone with high external self-awareness will adapt their behavior accordingly to fit in.
Now that we know what it is, let’s discuss 4 ways to improve self-awareness.
I’ll give you 2 ways to boost internal self-awareness and 2 ways to boost external self-awareness.
#1 Meditation
With regards to improving internal self-awareness, meditation is as good as it gets.
A lot of people overcomplicate it, but it’s actually quite simple:
You just sit down on the floor and stare at a wall.
That’s it.
You don’t have to breathe through your nostrils. You don’t have to do any of that.
You just sit down on the floor and look at a wall.
And you might be thinking, “Well, how does this increase internal self-awareness?”
Well here’s what happens when you meditate:
When you sit down in a distraction free environment, and stare at a wall, you will get bored very quickly, so what happens is random thoughts, memories, emotions, and bodily sensations will all just pop up.
You could say you are re-connecting to yourself.
And the key to getting the benefits out of meditation is really to just surrender.
You’re surrendering to your thoughts.
Let’s say, for example, you’re sitting there meditating, just staring at a wall, and a situation from 10 years ago randomly pops up.
Your mind will probably start going off on one and start running scenarios:
“I should have said this. I should have done that. Blah, blah, blah.”
Your job as a meditator is to let go.
And how do you let go?
You bring your mind back to the present moment.
How I personally do this is by meditating next to an open window where I can hear cars driving past.
So whenever I find myself running with a thought, (which happens regularly) I just tune in and listen to the cars driving outside. That brings me back to the present.
Just tap the play button below, and listen to the car driving past.
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As you can imagine, if you do this on a regular basis, your internal self-awareness is going to increase drastically.
As a nice little side effect, you’ll probably also be able to handle your emotions a hell of a lot better than the average person.
Why?
Because you have essentially exposed yourself to them.
So meditation is powerful.
But I want to drop a disclaimer before I move on to the next way of increasing self-awareness:
And that is meditation is not for everybody.
The reason why is that if someone has PTSD or has gone through some really traumatic experiences, meditation can bring those things back up—and that can sometimes send people over the edge.
So it’s just something to be mindful of.
#2 Journaling
So, if meditation isn’t for you, another option for increasing internal self-awareness is journaling.
Basically, what you do is brain-dump:
Just write whatever comes to mind.
The beauty of journaling is that it’s a safe space. Unlike talking to a person, the paper doesn’t judge. You can write whatever the hell you want.
This makes it really good for venting—which is obviously great for your emotional and mental health.
To make journaling effective, read your entries at a later date, when you’re in a different emotional state.
This essentially gives you a better understanding of yourself because you start to see things on paper.
You’re seeing, on paper, how you tick—how you respond to situations, what pisses you off, and the patterns in your behavior.
Journaling can be an extremely valuable tool with regards to increasing internal self-awareness.
Now, let’s talk, external self-awareness.
#3 Seek Feedback
Practically every single person on this planet has blind spots.
I know that’s a bold statement, but it’s actually what I believe.
Nobody is perfect, and what you’ll tend to find is that people can sometimes see things in you that you can’t see yourself.
So this is where seeking feedback comes in.
But you don’t want to just ask one person—you want to ask as many people as possible.
Why?
Because when you ask one person, their feedback might be skewed depending on their relationship with you, their mood, and their own biases.
Let’s say, for example, you ask 5 people something about you, and all 5 say the same thing.
Well, then there’s probably an element of truth to it.
This feedback is valuable because it gives you the information you need, to change your behavior—if you feel that’s the best thing to do.
#4 Pay Close Attention to People’s Non Verbal’s
When it comes to communication, the majority of it is nonverbal—so this includes body language, facial expressions, and so on.
We are communicating all the time, even when we don’t open our mouths.
And how this ties in with external self-awareness is basically “reading the room.”
So, if you walk into a room and everybody’s quiet—let’s say, for example, in a library—and you come in all jovial, all happy, and all shouty, that’s probably not the best thing to do.
If I saw somebody doing that, I would think to myself, That person lacks external self-awareness. They’re not reading the room.
And obviously, this has an impact on whether you’re going to get along with people or not.
Another example:
If a guy is just sitting there alone with a scowl on his face with his arms crossed, if I don’t know him, I’m probably not going to approach him.
If I do know the guy, I might approach him and crack a joke just to lighten the mood.
Again, it’s reading the room.
So, to summarize: everything we’ve talked about:
Internal self-awareness allows you to be grounded. It basically lets you know yourself, and when you know yourself, you make better decisions.
External self-awareness makes you adaptive, which helps with forming and building relationships.
There is no self-improvement without self-awareness.
Love this!