At some point in your life you’ve probably come across the following two phrases.

The first is:

We’ve all heard that one before.

The second is:

And yes, while these phrases sound and feel good, are they actually helping anyone?

Because I’d argue that they’re not.

In fact I actually prefer the phrase:

Because once you begin to accept reality as it is and confront the facts about life, that is a major sign of maturity.

It’s growth!

And this is what I’m going to be talking about in more detail.

So let’s get into the article.

#1 Don’t Ignore Life’s Realities

So let’s kick this off by discussing a few uncomfortable truths about life.

The first uncomfortable truth is that one day you are going to die — and so are your loved ones.

We’re only on this planet for a short period, and we’re all essentially living on borrowed time, so you’ve got to make the most of it.

The second uncomfortable truth is that your parents will disappoint you, or they probably already have.

Nobody was given a manual on how to be a parent, we’re all essentially just winging it. If you’re a parent yourself, you probably understand this on a deep level.

The third uncomfortable truth is that every relationship has an expiry date.

Sometimes the people who are with you at the start won’t be with you at the end. Relationships are temporary, just like your life on this planet.

The fourth truth is that you ain’t special. You might have been told otherwise as a child, but the reality is you’re one person among billions.

The fifth truth is, that you probably spend more time on your phone than you’d like to admit.

If you checked your phone settings and saw how much time you actually spend on it, it would probably pee you off.

All those hours, days, and weeks looking at that screen is time you will never get back.

I don’t know who you are or whether you have read my articles before, but I’m going to assume you appreciate this honesty.

Because let’s have it real:

We live in a world where most people sugarcoat the truth.

#2 Don’t Blame Others for Your Problems (It Makes You Powerless)

So do bad things happen to good people?

Absolutely.

This world that we live in is far from perfect, and you probably already know this.

For example, modern-day slavery still exists. There are children who don’t have access to basics such as food and running water. In some countries, women are still treated like second-class citizens.

I’m sure you’ll agree that none of those things should be happening—but they are.

The point I want to make is this:

We’ve all essentially been dealt a set of cards, and just like at a poker table, all we can do is play the hand we were given.

Because if you are constantly blaming other people, you’re not taking responsibility or looking for solutions.

And let’s be honest:

Every single person, no matter who they are, has some problem or another.

That’s a fact of life.

And when dealing with problems, it’s often better to adopt a solution-oriented mindset.

Which basically means focusing on what you can do rather than what you can’t because more often than not, there is always a solution to a problem.

Is the solution always ideal or everything you want?

Sometimes no—but more often than not, there is a way forward.

#3 Let Go of Expecting Others to Change

Now let’s have it real:

What causes a lot of people pain in life is relationships and to be frank, it’s naive to think people will change for your sake.

Like I said earlier in the article, you are not special.

And this happens all the time in the real world, you see people getting into abusive relationships, even though they know full well that this person is bad news.

Some people hold this fantasy that they can change them.

The best you can do is nudge someone in the right direction, and even then they have to choose to change themselves — it has to come from within.

The unfortunate truth is that for many people who have had dysfunctional childhoods, those patterns tend to bleed into adult life.

I’ll share a personal example.

When I was at school there was a lad I was close to — I considered him my best friend. Around the age of eight or nine his dad died and he didn’t handle this well at all, and he changed.

By the time he was a teenager, around 13 or 14, he was using drugs and hanging around with the wrong people. It got to a point where I had to back off.

From what I later heard, he has done time in prison and now has problems with alcohol.

When I think back, that wasn’t the kid I knew at school before his father died — he used to come to class, put his head down, and do his work.

It’s really unfortunate.

This isn’t just true for friends; sometimes it’s true for family members, aswell.

With some people you need to keep them at arm’s length because of their own destructive behaviour.

The truth is, there’s only so much you can do for others.

#4 Don’t Assume That Others Share Your Interests or Goals

It’s that old saying that went around the internet years ago:

If you go on Facebook and announce you’ve just got a new job, you’ll get loads of engagement — likes, comments, congratulations.

Now, say years later you go on Facebook and post you’ve started a new business.

It’s crickets. Nobody says a word.

You could argue the reason is that we’ve all been given a life script:

Go to school, get an education, get a job, get married, have kids. So if you’re somebody who goes against the grain, it’s naive to expect everyone to support your goals.

One of the benefits of the internet and the times we live in now, is that you can find your tribe and community online.

I’ll use this website as a prime example:

It’s all about self-improvement, however in the real world I rarely talk about self-improvement, because the average person isn’t interested.

In person I usually talk about sports, politics (if the person is sound minded), the weather just general stuff.

So if you are looking for an online community and my content just happens to resonate with you, feel free to subscribe and check out the articles that I have written.

So in this article, I’m going to share the five things that women, on average, aren’t sexually attracted to.

The key phrase here is:

And the five things I’m going to talk about aren’t bad per se. They only become a problem when a guy leads with them when dealing with women.

Ultimately, most guys want women to like them for who they are, not because of the lifestyle they can provide or the things that they own.

So let’s talk about this in more detail.

#1 Your Money

I want to make this abundantly clear:

In fact, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be financially successful. You could say it’s money that makes the world go around.

For example purposes:

You need money to put a roof over your head.

You need money to put food in the fridge.

You need money to turn the lights on.

And your need money to live in a safe, low-crime neighborhood.

Money itself isn’t the problem.

The problem is when guys lead with their wallets when dealing with women. And that usually happens because they lack the fundamentals such as physical fitness, social skills, self-awareness, wit, and charm.

What you’ll often find with a lot of rich guys is that back in school, many of them were nerdy and socially awkward. As a result, they got very little female attention.

The guys who were getting the attention were often the athletes, jocks, and party boys.

So a lot of these nerdy types come to the realization, that they don’t have the social fundamentals, but what they do have is raw intelligence (high IQ) and drive.

So many of them — not all, became rich as a result.

Now that they have money, they suddenly became more visible to women.

They might flaunt it by driving a nice car or by living in a certain neighborhood, etc.

So these guys aren’t entirely wrong when they say money works because in a way, it does work.

Before, they were invisible to women. Now they’re getting attention.

But what money doesn’t do is sexually attract a woman. It doesn’t arouse her. It doesn’t turn her on.

It does nothing for her vagina.

#2 Your House

This really ties in with the previous point because you need money to buy a home, but I’d actually call a home a fake status symbol.

Let me tell you why…

Number one: It can be given to you. If you’re born into a rich family, your relatives might just hand you a home.

It has nothing to do with your character, your personality, or who you are as a person.

It’s just pure luck.

Number two: very few people actually own their home outright.

Most people are essentially renting it from the bank.

So if you don’t even own it, is it really a status symbol?

And if we’re talking purely from a sex appeal perspective, what does owning a home do for a woman?

The answer is nothing.

If you look at a house from a logical perspective, it’s just bricks. It’s just shelter — a roof over your head.

It’s not designed to turn anyone on.

#3 Your Car

Just like a house, a car is a crappy status symbol.

For one, it can be given to you. For two, it can be borrowed.

For example, I could go rent a Lambo for a week, drive it around and pretend that I own it—even though I don’t.

The point I’m making here, is that if you see somebody in an expensive car it doesn’t mean anything.

And during my party days, I would see guys pulling up to nightclubs or bars in nice cars, purposely making a scene just to get female attention.

The thing is though, in the 21st century especially in Western countries (where women work) there’s no need to do this.

Let’s just run a scenario:

Imagine a genuinely rich guy who actually owns his nice car (he didn’t rent it).

He pulls up to a bar, gets talking to a woman, grabs her number, and they start texting and meeting up.

Things progress and eventually become serious and long-term.

Fast forward five, six, or seven years. You later find out she only got with him because of his resources and the money he had.

Would it honestly surprise you, that she ended up using him?

Because look at the way the relationship started, it started with the guy leading with his wallet.

For example:

If you lead with your personality, that’s what she’ll focus on. On the other hand If you lead with your wallet, again that’s what she’ll focus on.

And let’s talk sex appeal because from a sexual perspective, what exactly does a car do for a woman?

She’s not exactly going to have sex with the handbrake is she lol.

Just like a house, a car does nothing for a woman—it just doesn’t turn her on.

#4 Your Job

This is actually quite common in Indian and South Asian cultures.

Still in many parts of Asia, marriages are arranged, and the arrangement is that the man will look after the woman.

I’ll use myself as an example…

I grew up in England, but even my parents drummed it into me that I needed to get a white-collar job.

And the reason why, was that it would make me more desirable to a South Asian woman.

But the question I want to ask, is this:

If a woman is marrying you because of your job title, does she even really want to be with you?

Does she even like you as a person?

Because if a woman is marrying you, because of what you do for a living, that’s a business decision.

Let’s say for example purposes, you lose that job — would she even stick around?

Because it’s not what her family signed her daughter up for and it’s not what she signed up for initially.

Her family wants somebody to look after her.

Now let’s talk sex appeal, because from a sex appeal perspective, a high paying job does nothing for most women.

When I was in my early twenties, hitting the bars and clubs, there were two guys in my friendship circle who would pull a different woman almost every week — and I’m not exaggerating.

They’d regularly walk out with someone new.

It had nothing to do with job titles. Both of them were still living at their mom’s house and neither of them were established within their careers.

The reason they were successful with women, is because they were confident and consistently put themselves in environments where they could meet single women.

It had nothing to do with money, cars, houses, job titles, or even IQ — which I’m going to be talking about next.

#5 Your IQ

Most women, on average, couldn’t care less about a guy’s IQ or the number he got on a test paper.

What you’ll often find is that when women say they like “intelligent guys,” what they’re really talking about is emotional intelligence.

Because getting along with people requires emotional intelligence.

Getting along with women, being able to hold a conversation and make them laugh requires emotional intelligence.

Being a good dad and being able to connect with your children requires emotional intelligence.

Even self-awareness, It’s a huge part of emotional intelligence.

And the beauty of emotional intelligence (EQ) is that, unlike IQ, it can actually be improved.

When I was a kid in the ‘90s, I grew up listening to hip-hop, and there was a song by Nas called “New York State of Mind.” In that song, Nas says something along the lines of.

Basically, what he meant (my interpretation) was that if you’re sleeping, somebody else is out there working—hence making themselves and not you, more successful.

But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that saying is just complete and utter nonsense, and I’m going to tell you why.

No. 1: When you are well-rested, you tend to make better decisions.

No. 2: When you are well-rested, you tend to be more productive.

No. 3: When you are well-rested, you tend to fuel your body better.

In other words, sleep just makes you a better human being. It’s a performance enhancer.

And if you’re health-conscious—which I’m going to assume you are, because you’re on the internet reading an article about sleep.

Then making it a priority, alongside physical exercise, alongside nutrition, alongside good relationships and alongside stress management, is one of the best things that you can do.

So, let’s talk about this in more detail.

#1 Deep Sleep Is Where Hormones Are Made

So, for those who don’t know, a large portion of a man’s testosterone is actually produced while he’s asleep. Testosterone is widely considered by many to be the male hormone and during puberty, it’s what turns a boy into a man.

It’s also worth mentioning that a large portion of growth hormone is released while you’re asleep and some call growth hormone (GH) the anti-aging hormone.

It’s no coincidence that after a good night’s sleep, your skin looks healthier and your eyes look brighter.

So when it comes to sleep what we’re aiming for here, is seven to eight hours of sleep per night. This is widely considered the sweet spot for most people.

The real key is consistency.

You want to try and hit that range every single night, not nine hours one night, four the next, and six the night after. Seven to eight solid hours, consistently.

And you know what, I get it — for a lot of people, good consistent sleep is difficult because as we get older, responsibilities pile up and sleep often gets pushed to the back burner.

All I’m suggesting is that you do the best you can and If you’re somebody who struggles with sleep, power naps can certainly be useful.

The key with power naps is to keep them short and sweet so that they don’t interfere with your night-time sleep, as sleeping too long during the day can make it harder to switch off at night.

For most people the sweet spot for a power naps is around 15 to 30 minutes.

#2 Deep Sleep Is Where a Big Chunk of the Muscle Building Process Occurs

Many people seem to think that muscle is built in the gym. But that isn’t actually true.

You build muscle in the kitchen by fueling your body with the right foods, and on the mattress while you sleep.

So let’s explain how it works:

When you resistance train or do any form of strength training, you’re stressing and damaging the muscle fibers, creating micro-tears.

Once you leave the gym, the real muscle-building process or more accurately, the muscle-repairing process — begins.

This is why your post-workout meal, rich in protein and carbs, is so important.

It’s also why consuming enough calories (protein, carbs and healthy fats) throughout the day matters so much.

Then what happens, is when you go to sleep later that night, a large portion of that muscle repair takes place.

You could say sleep, and muscle building go hand in hand.

But here’s the irony:

Hardly anybody in the fitness space talks about the importance of sleep. They talk about reps and sets, exercise selection, training splits, macros, and even motivation.

And yes, all of the above are important — I’m not saying they’re not. It’s just that sleep, one hundred percent needs to be part of that conversation.

I would honestly go as far to say that, if you’re not sleeping properly and not prioritizing your sleep, it is highly unlikely that you’ll achieve the goals you want.

And this leads me perfectly onto my next point.

#3 Deep Sleep Supports Fat Burning

If you compare fat burning while you’re asleep versus when you’re awake, what you’ll tend to find is that you burn more fat during the day.

The reason is simple:

So I’m not going to claim that sleep directly burns fat, but it does contribute indirectly.

Let me give you a personal example:

When I’m sleep deprived, I tend to notice that I crave junk food more. That’s because a lack of sleep disrupts two key hunger hormones:

No. 1: leptin

No. 2: ghrelin.

These hormones regulate your appetite, so when they’re out of balance, you tend to overeat.

And for people who struggle with sleep and weight loss It’s kind of like they are in a vicious cycle because number one, poor sleep leads to overeating and number two, poor sleep leads to reduced physical activity.

It isn’t just about discipline and willpower, as some people will have you believe, there’s stuff going on (hormones) behind the scene.

#4 Deep Sleep Strengthens the Immune System

When it comes to overall health, having a strong immune system is so important.

It wards off infections, helps wounds heal faster, and lowers your risk of picking up diseases.

Something I’ve noticed in myself—and you’ve probably noticed it in yourself too—is that when you’re sleep deprived, you tend to get ill more often.

Now let’s just have it real:

The last place you’re going to be when you’re sleep deprived and ill is in the gym taking care of yourself.

I know this might sound like a bit of an exaggeration, but I’d honestly go as far as to say that sleep is basically a legal performance-enhancing drug.

And best of all it’s FREE, with minimal side effects.

At some point or another, you’ve probably come across the quote by Charles Darwin that goes something along the lines of:

So what I’m going to do for you in this article is explain this in much more detail and make it far more applicable to the 21st century — because, obviously, times have changed.

And if you study nature, what you’ll tend to find is that it doesn’t reward past success. It doesn’t reward your carefully laid plans. It doesn’t reward how impressive you once were.

It rewards one thing and one thing only:

Your ability to adapt to a changing environment.

So let’s get into the article.

#1 Legacy Belongs to the Flexible

If you want proof that it’s not the biggest and strongest that survives, but the most adaptable, look no further than dinosaurs.

They were big, powerful animals, but when conditions changed, the dinosaurs couldn’t adapt to the new environment and eventually became extinct.

If you look at the food chain, humans sit at the top. Yet compared to other animals, we’re far from the strongest, the biggest, or the fastest.

What we are is the most adaptable. Human beings excel at coming together and working as a team — and that may be our greatest strength.

The law of the jungle (if that’s what you want to call it) doesn’t just apply to nature; it applies to the business world as well.

Threats are everywhere:

Potential lawsuits, aggressive competitors who may see you as a problem because you’re taking their customers, and constant disruption.

A perfect example of a company that failed to move with the times is Blockbuster. It was once the undisputed king of video and DVD rentals.

Then Netflix came along and changed the game by going fully online.

While Netflix adapted, Blockbuster stood still and as a result paid a massive price.

Today, according to reports, only one Blockbuster store remains. Its downfall is a sobering lesson every business owner should study.

The message is clear:

If you don’t adapt, you die.

#2 Too Much Comfort Is the Enemy of Survival

There’s a popular quote that says you’re either growing or you’re dying — there’s no middle ground.

And there’s a lot of truth to it.

Highly adaptable people tend to deliberately expose themselves to new challenges, new ideas, and new environments.

You must constantly update your knowledge and skills because the world is changing incredibly fast.

Just compare 1996 to 2026 because thanks to the internet, it’s a completely different world.

Now imagine what things will look like in another 30 years…

The job market is a perfect example of this shift. Before the internet, when you applied for a job, you were mainly competing with people in your own country or local area.

Today, depending on your profession you’re competing with talented people from all over the world.

For instance, imagine a customer service role at a company based in the US or UK.

A skilled worker in Thailand now has the potential to compete with you because she speaks perfect English, types just as fast as you, and has the advantage of accepting a lower salary (due to a much lower cost of living in Thailand)

This gives her a competitive advantage.

That’s how things have changed.

The bottom line is this:

You have to keep updating your knowledge and moving with the times. Because once AI and machines fully take hold, the world is going to change again — and only the adaptable will thrive.

#3 Resilience Beats Strength

When it comes to strength versus resilience, there’s an old fable that explains it perfectly:

The oak tree versus the bamboo tree.

To cut a long story short, you’ve got a forest with two trees side by side—the mighty oak and the bamboo.

On the surface, the oak looks big, powerful, and strong, with its massive, meaty trunk.

The bamboo? It looks skinny, frail, and fragile—not very strong at all.

Put it this way:

If you had to bet on which tree would fall over first in bad weather, you’d probably pick the bamboo.

But here’s what actually happens when a storm hits…

It’s not the oak that’s left standing—it’s the bamboo. The oak just stands rigid, refusing to adapt or change.

The bamboo, on the other hand, bends with the wind and shifts its form.

That’s why it survives while the oak topples and this is a perfect example of resilience over raw strength.

And the same principle applies to the human body:

Sure, it’s great to be a big, strong powerlifter—the oak tree of the gym. But if you’re ignoring the softer side of training, like mobility work and posture correction, you’re shooting yourself in the foot.

From a pure physical fitness perspective, it’s much better to be a generalist than a specialist and this leads perfectly to my next point.

#4 Specialization Can Be a Death Sentence

The perfect example of this in nature is the panda.

A panda’s diet consists almost entirely of bamboo. It’s very rare for them to eat anything else.

For now, this is fine because bamboo is abundant and widespread. But what happens if conditions change and bamboo becomes scarce?

What does the panda do then?

This is exactly how animals become extinct.

The same principle applies to humans, especially as the job market evolves. We all know AI and machines are coming — in fact, they’re already here.

Driverless taxis are already operating, which means the job of a taxi driver may soon disappear.

The same could be said for bus drivers, truck drivers, tram drivers, and train drivers.

The list goes on.

For example, I live in the UK, and a gas station near me used to be fully staffed. Now it’s completely automated.

You pull up, put your card in the machine, fuel up, and leave.

And to be fair, customers actually benefit because it’s quicker this way, and the company benefits by not having to pay staff.

Another example is the robot cleaner I saw at my local supermarket. My first thought was that this robot had taken somebody’s job.

It’s also happening in the tech industry to people with advanced degrees — highly educated professionals are losing their jobs to AI.

The solution is simple but not easy:

You simply have to move with the times, keep upskilling and adapting because the world is changing at a very quick pace.

Before I get into the main talking points of the article, there’s just something I quickly want to address.

They’re unattractive to the girl you like, unattractive to the lads you hang around with, unattractive to your family members, and unattractive to your work colleagues.

And to be fair, if a woman was exhibiting these behaviours towards you, I’m pretty sure it’d be a massive turn-off for you as well.

So, let’s get into the talking points.

Behavior #1: Chronic Complaining

I want you to notice that I didn’t say complaining — I said chronic complaining.

Because at the end of the day, you’re going to come across things that just piss you off.

That’s life.

There’s nothing wrong with venting your feelings — you could even say it keeps you sane.

What I’m talking about here is the kind of chronic complaining that happens day in and day out.

And if there’s one thing that makes a woman dry — for lack of a better word — it’s a guy with a victim mindset.

And we’re not talking slightly dry. We’re talking bone dry.

Think granny panties.

To put it another way, she ain’t heading off to Victoria Secret anytime soon to buy that lingerie.

So let’s just switch the conversation for a minute and talk about success.

Because to succeed in practically any area — whether that’s with women, whether that’s in business, or in the weight room — you simply can’t have a victim mindset.

You need an internal locus of control which basically means you focus on the things you have influence over.

Because if you don’t, this world will just drive you mad.

And a very good example here… Is a guy who bitches and complains because his favourite sports team lost.

But here’s the thing:

As a spectator, as a fan he has zero control over the outcome.

Number one, he isn’t on the field playing.

Number two, he isn’t managing the team.

So there’s nothing he can do.

So why get emotional? Why let it bother you? Why let it move the needle at all?

Do you see what I’m saying?

And before I move on to the next point, there’s a quote attributed to Buddha that I want to share with you.

It goes something along the lines of:

And while I think that quote is a bit too absolutist, there is definitely an element of truth to it.

And that leads me perfectly into the next point…

Behavior #2: Excessive Neediness

Just so we’re on the same page here, let’s define neediness.

My definition of neediness is somebody who needs constant validation and constant attention.

And here’s the thing:

There’s nothing worse than being around somebody whose hand you constantly have to hold.

It’s emotionally draining.

Now let’s go back to dating here and talk about the initial stages.

Let’s say you’re texting a girl back and forth. She’s texting you, you’re texting her and her responses back are relatively quick.

Then all of a sudden, just out of nowhere she ghosts you and you’re left scratching your head thinking why.

I’ve been there. It hurts because you often take it personally.

But here’s the thing:

Nobody has a 100% win rate. You win some, you lose some. And dating is a competition—whether you like it or not.

If she’s a good-looking girl with a half-decent personality, she’s probably got other guys texting her and sometimes you’ll lose out to other guys.

This is just the reality of dating. It’s the reality of any competition.

Anybody who has played sports will tell you that you don’t win every game. It’s the same for video games—even in that domain, even in the virtual world, you don’t win every time.

So all you can do when dealing with women—especially in the initial stages—is put your best foot forward.

If you win, fantastic. If not, there’s plenty more fish in the sea. It’s about having an abundance mindset.

Because let’s be honest:

There are billions of women on this planet. And to be frank with you, if a woman is rejecting you and it’s really, really bothering you, then that’s a self-esteem issue.

In a previous article that I wrote I basically said that the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself—and the reason why is because it impacts all other relationships.

When you get a minute, feel free to check it out by clicking this link.

Behavior #3: Being Overly Concerned With Your Appearance

I’m not going come on here and say that looks don’t matter. Because, to a degree, looks do matter.

But here’s the thing:

You don’t want to become obsessed with your appearance. You don’t want to be the bodybuilder guy who can’t stop looking at himself in the mirror.

You don’t want to be that Clav guy on the internet doing bone smashing.

You don’t want to be like Patrick Bateman from American Psycho, who’s completely obsessed with how he looks.

There’s a very fine line between caring about your looks and being obsessed with them.

And being obsessed turns most women off — big time.

Behavior #4: Putting Her on a Pedestal

Anyone with an ounce of self-awareness will eventually come to the conclusion that they’re far from perfect.

We all have imperfections. We all have a light side and a dark side.

So with that knowledge in hand, it only makes sense to treat people based on their behaviour — not because they’re pretty, not because they look good, and not because they smell nice, but because of how they act.

Yet you still see guys putting women on a pedestal, placing them above themselves.

Quite frankly, it’s a self-esteem issue.

And women often pick up on it and very often see it as you not respecting yourself.

If we look at it purely from a logical perspective:

Why should a woman respect a man? If he doesn’t even respect yourself?

It starts with you.

And let’s be real — she’s far from a goddess.

Number one, she poops on a regular basis.

Number two, she farts, burps, and sweats like everybody else.

Number three, she bleeds every 21 to 35 days because of her period.

Why?

Because they’re human, just like you.

Before I get into the main talking points of the article, I first want to address the pros of machines, because it’s not all doom and gloom.

For example, if you want to isolate a particular muscle, machines can be really good for that.

When it comes to cardio, machines can be great as well.

Think the SkiErg, the rower, and the assault bike (fantastic tools.)

And notice that I deliberately titled the article “for the most part” because I want to make the point that machines are not useless.

There is a time and a place for them.

However, for most people who don’t have much time on their hands and for people who just want to get fitter, look better naked, and get stronger — then quite frankly, machines aren’t the best use of your time.

So now, let’s talk about the cons of gym machines.

#1 Gym Machines Can Make You More Injury Prone

The irony is that many personal trainers will recommend beginners and newbies to start off with machines. They’ll argue that it’s safer, but I’d actually argue the opposite.

Here’s the thing:

One of the biggest problems with gym machines is that they’re not very good at training the stabilizer muscles — something I’ll be talking about later in the article.

Let’s take a basic human movement pattern like walking. When you walk, your legs are moving, your core is switched on, and your arms are swinging.

There’s a lot going on at once.

You could say that free weight compound movements — and bodyweight exercises, mimic the way the body is naturally designed to function:

And that is multiple muscle groups working together at the same time.

The problem with machines is that they largely ignore this. With machines, you’re isolating a single muscle and moving it in a fixed plane of motion.

And If we go back to the beginner example I mentioned earlier, in most cases a newbie would be much better off, learning how to do a proper goblet squat rather than messing around on a leg press machine.

#2 Free Weights/Calisthenics Are Better From a Time Perspective

The thing is, time is one of your most valuable assets. Once it’s gone, you don’t get it back.

Not to mention, many people have significant responsibilities outside the gym — whether that’s work commitments, school, university, or raising children.

And if you look at machine training, it often isn’t the best use of your time.

For example, if you wanted to do a full-body workout using only machines, you’d have to spend a significant amount of time (potentially hours) in the gym.

In contrast, free-weight compound movements allow you to get a really effective workout in around 45 minutes sometimes even less.

#3 Gym Machines on Average Burn Less Calories

To look better naked, it’s in your best interest to build muscle and lose body fat and when comparing machine exercises to the big compound lifts, the compound movements are far superior.

Compound lifts work multiple muscle groups simultaneously, which increases the metabolic cost of the exercise.

And this is really, what most people are looking for.

#4 When Using Gym Machines the Core Isn’t Activated to the Same Degree

Anybody who has done pull-ups will tell you that it ain’t just a back, bicep, and trap exercise.

One of the biggest problems with machines is that you just don’t get the same core activation.

Let’s compare a pull-up to a lat pulldown and to be fair, the lat pulldown machine is actually one of the better machines, so I’m not hating on it.

That said, the pull-up is superior.

With a pull-up, you’re hanging from a bar and moving your entire body through space. Your core has to engage — there are no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Compare that to a lat pulldown:

You’re seated in a fixed position, simply pulling the weight down.

The core activation just isn’t the same.

Some personal trainers argue that it’s better for beginners to start with lat pulldowns.

I’d actually disagree.

If someone is learning pull-ups, they can use resistance bands, do negatives (which are a fantastic way to build pull-up strength), or perform inverted rows — another excellent upper-body exercise.

I want to make it perfectly clear:

I’m not hating on the lat pulldown machine. It’s one of the better ones.

But from a pure general fitness standpoint, lat pulldowns should supplement your pull-ups and chin-ups — not the other way around.

#5 Less Functional Strength Transfer to the Real World

A very good way to look at it is this:

When you lift things outside of the gym, they are not guided or fixed like they are on gym machines.

For example, when you lift and move furniture, carry luggage, or bring in groceries, your body has to naturally stabilize the load in order to protect yourself.

The problem with machines is that they greatly reduce this stabilization demand because the machine is guiding the movement for you.

And this leads me perfectly to my next point...

#6 Gym Machines Reduce Stabilizer Muscle Engagement

This basically means your body doesn’t have to work as hard and to be fair, in a rehab setting, this can actually be a good thing.

But if you’re dealing with someone who’s injury-free and just wants to get fitter, faster, and stronger, then the lack of stabilizer muscle engagement isn’t a pro — it’s actually a con.

Let’s compare the leg press to the barbell back squat, specifically from a muscle stabilization perspective.

The problem with the leg press is that the stabilizers don’t really have to kick in because you’re essentially lying there with your back supported against the pad.

You need to keep your core tight and braced, while your hips and glutes work together to stop you from tipping over.

The stabilizers in your ankles, knees, and upper back are all engaged.

The squat is truly a full-body movement.

And if all you ever did were heavy barbell back squats, that strength would very likely transfer over to the leg press machine.

On the other hand, if all you did were heavy leg presses, it doesn’t automatically mean you’d be able to squat big weights.

When comparing the two exercises from a general fitness perspective, the barbell back squat is superior.

#7 Free Weight Exercises Boost Your Testosterone Levels More Than Gym Machine Exercises

This is actually one of the most important benefits and if I had to sum up muscle building in one word, it would be hormones.

And how you influence them comes down to exercise selection, diet, sleep, and stress management.

And from a pure hormonal perspective, free-weight compound movements and bodyweight exercises (such as dips, pull-ups, and box jumps) are far superior to machine-based exercises.

Before I get into the main talking points of the article, I want to make this abundantly clear:

In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

Because once you truly come to terms with the fact that your time on this planet is limited and that it’s actually quite short — you could say you start living more fully.

And at some point in your life, you’ve probably heard the acronym YOLO. Which stands for “You Only Live Once.”

The whole idea behind it is to encourage people to live life to the fullest and to take calculated risks.

And that’s exactly what I’m going to be talking about today.

#1 Making Peace With Death Helps You Live In the Present Moment

It is often said that if somebody is depressed, they’re living in the past; if somebody is anxious, they’re living in the future; and if somebody is at peace, they’re living in the present.

Of course, this doesn’t apply to every single person.

Mental health isn’t that black and white — it’s far more complicated than that. But there is an element of truth to the saying.

Once you truly come to terms with the fact that one day you are going to die, you could say you start letting things go more easily.

Because at the end of the day, you can’t change the past — what has happened has happened, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

As for the future, it hasn’t even happened yet, so there’s no point in hyper-focusing on it.

So it just makes sense to take each day as it comes.

And this isn’t me suggesting you should live a fast, reckless life because you don’t know when your time is up — far from it.

I’m saying that since the present is all you have, you should enjoy it, while still being sensible and responsible.

#2 Making Peace With Death Can Loosen Fear’s Grip, but It Doesn’t Erase It Entirely

This really ties in with the first point, because a lot of people don’t take action because they’re low-key scared.

But here’s the thing:

The way I see it, there’s risk in everything.

For example, I could burn my hand making a cup of coffee. I could slip in the shower and snap my neck. I could finish writing this article, step outside, and get hit by a bus.

Do you see what I mean?

There are risks in literally everything we do.

Again i want to make this abundantly clear:

I’m not for one second suggesting that you to go out and do stupid things that genuinely put your life at risk.

NOT AT ALL…

Common sense still applies.

What I am saying is that once you come to terms with the fact that one day you will die, you could say you start becoming much more willing to take calculated risks.

Examples might include:

Stepping out of your comfort zone to go travelling, putting yourself out there by recording a few YouTube videos or approaching that girl you like and striking up a conversation.

You get the idea.

#3 Making Peace With Death Can Change How You Value Time

I’d honestly go as far as to say that time is more valuable than money — and it will always be that way.

Let me tell you why.

Unlike money, time is a truly finite resource. Money is essentially unlimited. If you lose it, you can almost always get it back.

I read somewhere that the average millionaire in America goes bankrupt three times.

That’s telling.

With time, though, you never get it back.

Every second, every minute, every hour, every day, every week, every month, every year, every decade — once it’s gone, it’s gone for good.

It all circles back to the YOLO acronym: You Only Live Once.

Time is precious.

#4 Making Peace With Death Can Loosen the Grip of External Pressures

A lot of people and I’m including myself here, because I’ve been guilty of this too — and that is tying my self-esteem and self-worth to things outside of myself.

Some common examples are:

How many women you’ve slept with, how much money you have in the bank, the car you drive, the house you live in, six-pack abs, or the number of social media followers you have.

A lot of us use these things to measure how successful we are.

But here’s the truth:

Your car, your house, your followers etc. They all stay here.

Whether you’re on this planet or not, the world just continues spinning.

And this isn’t me telling you to become a tree-hugging hippie and abandon all external pursuits because “it’s all bullshit.” I’m not saying that at all.

What I am saying is:

Don’t become a slave to these things. Don’t tie your self-esteem and self-worth to these things, because you can’t take them with you when you die.

So build things. Create art. Chase excellence. Enjoy nice experiences.

But do it because it genuinely lights you up — not because you’re secretly hoping it will finally make you feel “enough.”

#5 Making Peace With Death Can Deepen How We Connect With Others

If you search the internet, you’ll probably come across many accounts of people saying that it was only after having a near-death experience that they were truly able to forge deeper bonds with their loved ones.

Petty arguments and ego-driven games lost their power because, in the grand scheme of things, they simply don’t matter.

Look it isn’t death that is the opposite of life — it’s the denial of death that is.

You’re only on this planet for a short time, so make the most of it.

So, what I’m going to do for you in this article is share the five most important things when it comes to maintaining a long-term relationship.

And what you’ll tend to find, is that if ANY one of these five things are missing or weak in a relationship, it’s not a question of if the relationship will end — it’s a question of when.

So let’s dive in.

#1 Sex

My guess is that every guy reading this article right now is probably nodding his head in agreement.

Because let’s be honest — sex is super important.

And it ain’t just about busting a nut. When you have sex, your brain releases feel-good chemicals. You’re actually bonding.

But here’s the problem, especially in long-term relationships:

Sex drives can change. And that can cause some big issues.

For example, let’s say you’ve got a couple who met in their 20s. Back then they were at it like rabbits. A big reason for that was they had very little responsibility and almost no stress in their lives, so they could actually make time for each other.

Fast forward 10, 15, or 20 years… now they’ve got kids.

The guy is working super long hours in a stressful job, and she’s working part-time while also dealing with the stress of being a mom — which, let’s be honest, isn’t easy.

In this situation, the solution might be that they need to start making more time for each other.

Which I’ll be talking about in the next point.

But before I do that, it’s also worth mentioning that lifestyle issues can kill your sex drive.

If you’re not taking care of your physical and mental health, sex might not even be a priority.

For example if you’re super stressed from work, you come home and all you want to do is chill out and relax — sex is the last thing on your mind.

Age plays a role as well. A man’s testosterone levels naturally drop over time, so if you’re not lifting weights, eating the right foods, sleeping properly, and looking after yourself, your sex drive can take a serious hit.

And If you’re someone who wants to learn more about increasing your sex drive, I’ve got a full article on that. You can check that out, by clicking this link here.

#2 Face Time (Spending Time Together)

When I’m talking about face time, I’m not talking about getting out your phone and jumping on a video call.

I’m talking about real alone time—just you and her.

So no kids, no friends, no other family members, no work, no screens… just the two of you.

Think date nights and simply hanging out together.

So picture going out for a meal where it’s just the two of you.

Another example might be, putting on your hiking boots and heading out for a walk somewhere.

It doesn’t have to be expensive.

A lot of couples neglect this stuff. Sometimes it’s because responsibilities take over and sometimes it’s just pure complacency.

Some couples because they’ve been together so long, think that they don’t need to do these things (date-nights) anymore.

But the analogy I like to use is this:

To keep a fire going, you have to constantly tend to it.

A relationship is no different.

You simply have to make time for each other. Both of you need to carve out moments in your schedules where it’s just the two of you alone.

That way you can actually bond and connect. And this leads me perfectly onto the next point.

#3 Communication

This really continues on from FaceTime. You could say that sex and good communication are the glue that holds people together.

What you’ll tend to find with a lot of couples is that their conversations stay quite shallow.

They’re not as deep as they need to be.

Now, this isn’t me saying you need to be Mr. Serious all the time, never have a laugh, and never let go — of course not. You have to do those things too.

But there are moments when serious conversations need to happen.

For example, let’s say you’re self-made, financially well off, and you’ve built everything by yourself. You meet a girl, things get serious, and she starts talking about marriage.

You might need to bring up a prenup.

It’s not the most romantic conversation in the world — she’s probably going to be a little pissed off — but it’s one you might need to have.

It’s about being open and honest.

If that’s what gives you security and peace of mind moving forward in the relationship, then that conversation needs to happen.

Another example:

Let’s say you met a girl who was super fit and athletic when you first got together. After a while though she gets comfortable, puts on a bit of weight, and stops exercising.

It starts to bother you, but you don’t say anything because you don’t want to hurt her feelings.

What ends up happening? You start resenting her.

That resentment could have easily been nipped in the bud if you’d had an open and honest conversation with her and told her how you actually feel.

She isn’t a mind reader.

Obviously, with conversations like this you have to approach it with tact and grace — it’s not about attacking her.

You still need to be considerate of her feelings. But you get the point.

Bad communication or a lack of communication — can often cause big problems further down the line.

It’s something to be mindful of.

#4 Trust

I’m pretty sure you’ll agree with me when I say this:

An analogy that I like to use is that once trust is gone, it's kind of like trying to pour concrete under a sinking house.

Good luck with that. We’re talking foundations here.

Even with one-night stands and friends with benefits arrangements, if there’s no trust, there is no comfort — and without comfort, there is no sex.

It’s as simple as that.

And let’s go back to long-term relationships. Even with open and honest communication, you have to trust the other person first — and she has to trust you too.

Do you see what I mean?

If there is no trust, there is no relationship.

#5 Respect

I'm just going be straight up with you:

Make that a non-negotiable rule.

Because once disrespect starts creeping into a relationship, it often escalates—they've learned early on that they can essentially get away with it.

I'd actually argue that it's way, way better to be respected than it is to be loved.

I’m not going to come on here and say looks don’t matter, because to a degree, they do. At the end of the day, people will judge you based on your appearance—whether you like it or not.

It’s human nature.

So I’m not attacking anyone who goes to the gym, eats right, sleeps well, and does all the right things purely for cosmetic reasons.

But what I will say is this:

When it’s done properly and consistently, it will actually improve many other areas of your life.

And in this article, that’s exactly what I’m going to talk about in more detail.

#1 Energy Leverage

This is No. 1 for a reason — because it’s probably one of the biggest benefits of physical exercise:

The way I like to put it is this:

When exercise is done properly and consistently — meaning you’re not overtraining and you’re not undertraining — it will actually boost your energy levels. It’s kind of like putting a bigger battery in your phone.

And of course, this increase in energy can only be beneficial.

Think about your output and productivity at work: the more energy you have, the more you can accomplish.

Think about your presence in relationships — whether it’s with your kids, your wife, or your girlfriend. All of these areas require energy.

I would even go as far as to say that self-improvement starts with physical fitness and self-awareness. And if you’re interested in learning more about self-awareness, I’ve already done an article on this which you can read.

#2 Cognitive Leverage (Brain ROI)

If you think physical exercise is all about the body, THINK again. When done in moderation and done properly, it’s a powerful way to upgrade your brain.

It can improve your memory, help you manage stress, and clear your mind.

You see the mind and body is connected and quite often, when you train one, the other benefits.

A perfect example of this is meditation.

A lot of people think meditation is all about the mind, but your body usually benefits from it too.

Studies have shown that people who meditate regularly tend to have lower cortisol levels—that’s the stress hormone.

So it’s win-win for body and mind.

#3 Discipline & Willpower Leverage

You probably already know this, but it’s worth mentioning anyway:

When you see somebody who is physically fit, you instinctively know that this person has discipline.

You can see it.

It requires discipline to go to the gym and train. It requires discipline and willpower to eat the right foods.

It requires discipline to go to bed at the right time. And it requires discipline and willpower to avoid bad habits.

Do you see where this is going?

Quite often—not all the time, but quite often—when you’re disciplined in one area of your life, it transfers to another.

You could say that physical exercise builds that self-control muscle.

#4 Healthspan & Longevity Leverage

Do you want me to tell you what I think is super impressive?

When you’ve got guys in their 60s, 70s, and 80s still working out like they’re young guys.

The perfect example of this is the bodybuilder Tom Platz.

The guy’s still extremely mobile in his older age. I think there’s videos on the internet of him squatting all the way down to the floor—I believe he’s in his 70s.

It’s impressive, it really is.

Not to mention, strength training can help ward off chronic diseases as well as prevent muscle loss as we age.

Like I said, it ain’t just about vanity.

#5 Physical Capability Leverage

To put it another way, physical fitness just gives you options—it gives you leverage.

No. 1: You’re able to lift heavy things, which makes you generally more useful.

No. 2: People are less likely to mess with you. Just your appearance alone can stop people from targeting you.

If you want to take this a step further, you can even learn a combat sport—of course for self-defense purposes.

And No. 3: It can save your life. I’ve even heard of people who’ve been involved in car accidents and kind of got away with it because they had muscle on their frame.

The muscle and bone density absorbed the impact.

And this leads me perfectly into the next point, and that is confidence.

#6 Confidence & Presence Leverage

Let’s have it real:

Confidence doesn’t come from taking mirror selfies or posting shirtless on Instagram. It comes from knowing what your body can actually do.

Think hitting new PRs in the gym, carrying groceries with ease, or not getting as winded by everyday life.

And this isn’t some motivational feel-good speech I’m giving you. Regular exercise, especially strength training, has been shown to correlate with higher self-esteem and a more positive self-image.

Well guess what?

People subconsciously pick up on that energy.

Think job interviews, going on dates with women, or negotiating a pay rise.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

This is leverage.

In a previous article (click the link to read more), I basically said that women on average tend to prefer men with athletic bodies.

And it’s not just the man’s body they’re attracted to—it’s the person’s overall demeanor and energy.

#7 Anti-Fragility Leverage

It's the old saying:

And to be perfectly clear, physical exercise is a form of stress, which is why it’s super important to do it in moderation—too much of it can actually harm you.

But when you do it properly, your body adapts to that stress and, as a result, becomes stronger.

Before I get into the main talking points of the article, there’s something I want to discuss and that is…

Journaling has a marketing problem.

You see, journaling is stereotyped as something feminine.

“It’s what girls do”.

And back in the day there was even a novel called Diary of a Wimpy Kid — which doesn’t exactly scream masculine, does it?

Even in the early 2000s, when journals and diaries were being marketed, they were often colored pink.

So again it’s understandable why a lot of guys think journaling is something that girls do.

But here’s the irony:

Examples include:

1. Bruce Lee, a proper warrior (some people might even say he kick-started MMA).

2. Marcus Aurelius was another one — a Roman emperor.

3. George Washington, high up in the military — it’s well known that he kept journals.

4. Leonardo da Vinci — a proper Renaissance man, an inventor, a scientist, and an artist.

We’re not exactly screaming feminine vibes, now are we.

So honestly, if you think journaling is something that girls do, you’ve been fooled and in this article, I’m going to give you five reasons as to why men in particular would benefit from journaling.

#1 Journaling Reduces Stress and Anxiety in a Private, Judgment-Free Way

Let’s just have it real:

On average, men are far less likely than women to open up or seek therapy in times of need, and a lot of this is due to the way boys are conditioned from a early age.

You see, a lot of boys are essentially taught to suppress their emotions, and in some social circles, showing vulnerability is still seen as weakness. So what happens is that many guys learn very early on not to do it.

And this is where journaling can be really powerful because one of its major benefits is that it gives you a completely safe space.

You can release pent-up emotions, put all your frustrations and worries down on paper, and do it in an environment where nobody is going to judge you.

When you think about it, journaling is incredibly simple. All you have to do is write whatever comes to mind.

It’s not about grammar, style, or polish. You can write whatever the hell you want — that’s the beauty of it.

There are no rules.

#2 Journaling Improves Mental Clarity and Decision-Making

I’m pretty sure you’ll agree with me when I say, that the internet is up there as one of mankind’s greatest inventions.

I’d even put it right alongside the umbrella — because let’s be honest, the umbrella is a fantastic invention.

But anyway, one of the problems with the internet is information overload.

We’re absolutely drowning in it. And to be honest, I don’t know anybody who isn’t addicted to social media in some way or another.

I’ve even heard of people using their phones while they’re on the toilet. That’s how attached we’ve become to these devices.

And this is exactly where journaling — or what I like to call brain dumping — comes in.

Whatever thoughts are swirling around, whatever random ideas, whatever noise you’ve got going on upstairs, you just transfer it all onto a piece of paper. (Or even into a note-taking app if you prefer.)

What this does is empty your mind.

And from a stress-reduction perspective, a mental-health perspective, a mental-clarity perspective, this makes journaling a fantastic tool.

Not to mention — it’s completely free.

#3 Journaling Supports Goal Setting and Personal Growth

Here’s the thing with journaling:

It ain’t just about self-reflection and mental health. It’s also a powerful tool for setting goals.

You can use a journal to clearly define your goals, track your progress, celebrate your achievements, and honestly reflect on your setbacks.

And to be transparent here, journaling won’t magically make your goals happen—you still have to put in the work and graft for it.

But what it does do is make the entire process smarter, more consistent, and more honest.

And those three things can only help with regards to achieving your goals.

#4 Journaling Enhances Physical Health and Resilience

This might actually come as a surprise to some people as alot of folks might be thinking to themselves, “What the hell does journaling and brain dumping have to do with your physical health?”

Well, it has a lot to do with your physical health—because your mind and body are very closely connected.

Let’s just take stress as an example:

When stress is chronic and prolonged, it doesn’t just harm you psychologically; it also harms your body.

Another great example is a panic attack:

Anybody who has previously had a panic attack, will tell you that breathing can be difficult when experiencing an episode.

Again another illustration of the mind-body connection.

As discussed earlier, journaling allows you to process your emotions and your stress in a safe environment where nobody is judging you.

And of course, if you do this on a regular basis, it can help prevent suppressed emotions from manifesting physically.

#5 Journaling Boosts Overall Mental Health and Mood

If you’ve made it this far into the article, you’ve probably come to the conclusion that journaling is highly effective for improving your mood and mental health.

It’s simple, it’s free, it’s highly effective—and alongside weightlifting, it’s the cheapest form of therapy I’m aware of.

In my own life, weightlifting and journaling have gotten me out of some really dark times.

So before I wrap this article up, let’s quickly run through the key mental health benefits of journaling.

Number 1: It can reduce anxiety and depression—which often go hand in hand.

Number 2: It can improve your mood.

Number 3: It can improve your sleep. Just think about it this way—if you’re in a better psychological place and less stressed, switching off at night is going to be a hell of a lot easier.

Number 4: It promotes gratitude—being thankful for what you actually have in life—which we all know is very beneficial for mental health.

And number 5: Journaling promotes balanced thinking. There’s a lot of emphasis on positive thinking out there, but I’m a big believer that balanced thinking is far superior.

If you’re interested in learning more about that, I highly recommend checking out this article I’ve done here, where I explain balanced thinking in more detail.

When it comes to thinking styles if that’s what you want to call them there are generally three perspectives.

No. 1: The optimists. These are the people who tend to look on the bright side of every situation.

You could call them pure positive thinkers.

No. 2: The pessimists. These are the people who tend to expect the worst. They focus on the downsides of every situation.

Some might even call them “Negative Nellies.”

No. 3: The realists. These are the people who see the world as it actually is. They’re not hyper-focused on the positives, but at the same time they’re not hyper-focused on the negatives either.

You could say their thinking is balanced—it sits right in the middle and in my opinion of course is the best out of the three.

#1 Balanced Thinking Avoids Toxic Positivity and Emotional Invalidation

A big problem with positive thinking is that when it’s taken to the extreme—when it’s not checked—it can lead to denial and emotional invalidation.

For example:

It’s okay to feel sad. It’s okay to feel angry. It’s okay to feel pain.

Forcing yourself to “look on the bright side” of a bad situation is really just emotional suppression and this is where balanced thinking comes in.

Because it’s about embracing both sides, accepting the full emotional range as normal and informative.

It’s not about eradicating negative emotions it’s about processing them, not bypassing them.

What I’ve personally found really helpful for doing this in my own life is journaling.

The great thing about journaling is that you can write all your thoughts down on a piece of paper, and the paper doesn’t judge you unlike some people. Metaphorically speaking you can bleed in a safe environment.

Physical exercise is another great one. You’re shifting your feelings rather than shoving them down.

And sometimes, going to the gym when you’re angry is one of the best things you can do…

Why?

You’ll lift weights you’ve never lifted before, you can channel that anger in a productive way.

#2 Balanced Thinking Leads to Better, More Realistic Decision-Making

One of the problems with pure positive thinking is that the downsides are often ignored. This often leads to overly optimistic plans that fall apart the moment reality hits them hard.

There’s a well-known saying that goes something like:

What this quote basically means is that success isn’t an accident—it’s deliberate and this is exactly where balanced thinking comes in.

With balanced thinking, you don’t just focus on the upside; you also seriously consider the downside. You weigh the pros against the cons and look at both sides.

That’s how you make genuinely good decisions.

One of the very best ways to do this is surprisingly simple:

Grab a piece of paper and a pencil, draw a line down the middle, label one side “Pros” and the other “Cons,” and start writing.

The act of putting everything on paper forces you to think more critically—and when it comes to making good decisions, critical thinking is exactly what you want.

#3 Balanced Thinking Provides Genuine Motivation Through Defensive Pessimism

I’m pretty sure you’ll agree with me when I say this:

And this is where defensive pessimism comes in. It’s a coping strategy that goes hand in hand with balanced thinking.

You see with pure positive thinking, you visualize all the positive outcomes. For example, a business owner might visualize earning $50k in year one.

With defensive pessimism, you do the opposite: you visualize the worst-case scenarios and the reason why this is very good for your mental health is because it lowers your expectations.

Like I said at the start, when pursuing most goals—whether in business, fitness, sports, education, or anything else it hardly ever goes exactly to plan. So when you lower your expectations, that’s actually a good thing.

Using the business example again:

Because your expectations are now lower, you start thinking more realistically. You begin planning for things that could potentially go wrong.

And this leads me perfectly onto the next point.

#4 Balanced Thinking Reduces Disappointment and Emotional Volatility

Because extreme optimists tend to have extremely high expectations, when reality inevitably falls short, the crashes can be brutal.

This ties directly back to what I mentioned earlier:

Balanced thinking means you acknowledge both the positives and the negatives. You’re not hyper-focusing on the downsides, but you’re also not hyper-focusing on the upsides—you stay right in the middle.

This centered perspective creates a genuine inner calm, no matter what the outcome turns out to be.

And psychologically speaking, when it comes to pursuing goals, this outcome-independent state is one of the healthiest and most effective places to be.

#5 Balanced Thinking Builds Long-Term Resilience and Adaptability

There’s a quote often attributed to Charles Darwin that goes something like this:

(Note: This is actually a popular paraphrase of Darwin’s ideas, not his exact words, but the concept is spot-on.)

This is true not only in nature but in many other areas of life as well.

I think it was Bruce Lee who said, “Be like water.” Basically, what he meant was: be adaptable.

When you pour water into a glass, it takes the shape of the glass. When you pour it into a kettle, it takes the shape of the kettle. Water is the perfect example of adaptability.

The way I look at it is this:

People who are pure positive thinkers (optimists) or pure negative thinkers (pessimists) see the world in black and white.

But when someone is a balanced thinker who can see both sides they see the world in full HD color.

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You know what? It’s about time I finally did an article on the Prowler sled because this piece of gym equipment right here is seriously underrated.

So here’s what I’m going to do for you:

First I’ll explain what the Prowler sled actually is, then I’ll give you 5 really good reasons as too why you should be using it…

I’m pretty sure that if you read the article in full, next time you hit the gym, you’ll probably want to use the Prowler.

Understanding the Prowler Sled

The easiest way to describe the Prowler sled is that it’s basically a piece of gym equipment designed for you to push, pull, and drag.

It’s also built to work on different surfaces—think astroturf, grass, or gym flooring—so it’s super versatile in that sense.

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If you look at a picture of a Prowler sled, (see above) you’ll notice the handles. Those handles are there so you can get a solid grip and push it.

There are also attachment points where you can hook up a rope, strap, or harness, allowing you to pull or drag it.

Another big benefit worth mentioning is that it lets you train the body in different planes of motion.

You don’t have to just push or pull forward and backward—you can drag it sideways to target different muscle groups.

Like I said at the start, this piece of equipment is super underrated.

So let’s dive into the benefits in a lot more detail.

#1 The Prowler Sled Can Be Used by Both Beginners and Advanced Trainees Alike

This is probably the No. 1 benefit of the Prowler sled—right here and that is its flexibility and versatility.

One of the reasons it’s so suitable for complete beginners is the learning curve: it’s extremely small. The main reason for that is it relies on instinctive movement patterns.

What that means is that, generally speaking, people tend to pick it up very quickly—which, from a confidence perspective, is obviously a great thing.

And advanced lifters also get huge benefits from training with a Prowler sled.

Which I’ll go into in more detail now.

#2 The Prowler Sled Builds Strength, Power, and Speed

The Prowler Sled is really a jack-of-all-trades—you could even call it an all-in-one piece of equipment.

For example:

• If you want to build strength, load it heavy—add plenty of weight but move it more slowly.

• If you’re looking to develop explosive power, push and pull the sled explosively. This trains your ability to generate force quickly, which as you can imagine, transfers to sports such as rugby, boxing, American football, or any activity that demands quick, powerful movements.

• If you want to develop speed, use lighter weights but move the sled as fast as possible.

Do you see how versatile this piece of equipment is?

It can basically be adapted to suit almost any training goal.

#3 The Prowler Sled Has Virtually No Eccentric Loading

For those who don’t know, when you use the Prowler sled, there’s hardly any eccentric loading—it’s predominantly concentric.

So if you’re someone who wants to train in the gym quite often, the Prowler sled is probably your No. 1 choice.

I’ve heard of people using it six days a week. While I personally wouldn’t go too that extreme, the point I want to make is this:

If you want to avoid the pitfalls of overtraining while still training frequently, it’s actually pretty hard to beat the Prowler sled.

#4 The Prowler Sled Can Be Used for Rehabilitation Purposes

Not only can the Prowler sled make you more athletic—stronger, faster, and more powerful but it can also be used for rehab purposes.

The reason is its low-impact nature. As I mentioned previously, it’s predominantly concentric, so it doesn’t beat up your body nearly as much as traditional exercises.

For those who don’t know, your ankles and feet form the foundation of the human body. Pushing and pulling a Prowler sled strengthens both your ankles and feet effectively.

It’s also worth mentioning that pulling the Prowler sled backward can be really helpful for those dealing with knee pain.

It drives blood flow to the area, promoting recovery whilst at the same time strengthening the surrounding muscles and joints without excessive stress.

#5 The Prowler Sled Is Great for Cardio Purposes

Let’s just have it real:

You don’t want to be the guy who looks good but struggles to walk or even run—up a flight of stairs.

And this is where the Prowler shines, because it can train both your aerobic and anaerobic systems.

So let’s break it down in more detail.

If you want to use the Prowler sled to work your aerobic system, load it with light to moderate weight, push it for longer distances, and keep your rest periods short (think under a minute).

To target your anaerobic system, load it heavy, push for shorter distances, and take longer rest periods (think 2–3 minutes).

The Prowler sled is incredibly versatile in that sense—it lets you train both energy systems effectively.

And if you’re someone looking to seriously improve your cardiovascular fitness, I highly recommend checking out this article right here.

In it, I explain exactly which exercises you should be doing and the tools you need to use.

When it comes to sex appeal, many people think it’s all about your looks—and to be fair, there is some truth to that.

We are visual creatures, after all.

But I’d argue that sex appeal is actually much more about who you are as a person and the energy you give off. It’s a combination of many different qualities.

So let’s break this down in more detail.

#1 Understand the Difference Between Looks and Sex Appeal

The very first thing you need to understand is that good looks and sex appeal are not the same thing.

For example, you could have a guy with model-tier looks—perfect bone structure, perfect genetics—and even women will admit he’s a good-looking guy.

This is the sort of man you’d see on a fitness magazine cover or a billboard.

But let’s say his energy is a bit off. He comes across as shy; personality-wise, he’s not great at emotionally connecting with women.

The way he carries himself—when he walks, for instance—he moves like he’s a little timid.

Now flip the script:

Let’s talk about a woman with high sex appeal… Marilyn Monroe is a classic example.

For those who don’t know, she was widely regarded as a 20th-century sex symbol.

And if you look at Marilyn Monroe and study her behavior, it wasn’t just her good looks that made her so magnetic.

It was who she was as a person.

She was fun, flirty, and had a touch of playful madness to her. She also wasn’t afraid to show her more vulnerable side.

So, do you see what I mean?

Sex appeal isn’t just about your looks—it’s a combination of many different things.

#2 Build a Body That Is Strong, Fit and Athletic

When it comes to sex appeal, a man’s body can have a powerful effect on women. If you want proof, just look at the way women reacted when movies like Magic Mike came out.

All over the world—women went absolutely mad for it.

And if you think about it logically, this makes perfect sense. When you have sex with a woman, you’re as close to naked as possible (or completely naked).

In other words, you have to like what you see—well the same applies to her.

She has to like your body.

Plus on a deeper, almost subliminal level, when a man is physically fit and in shape, it signals that he can protect, which many women, on average, find highly attractive.

The great thing is that you don’t need to live in the gym—you can get very good results by training just 3 days a week.

And if this is something you’re interested in, I highly recommend checking out my fitness content on this website.

I’m giving all the information away for free.

#3 Become Comfortable in Your Own Skin

A huge part of sex appeal is being comfortable in your own skin.

The reason is simple:

When you’re truly comfortable with yourself, that relaxed, confident energy transfers to her. Suddenly, conversations flow more naturally and emotional connection becomes a hell of a lot easier.

So what does this look like in practice?

It basically means radical self-acceptance — fully accepting the things about yourself that you cannot change.

For example:

• Your height — you can’t change it, so you might as well accept it.

• Your body build (frame) — you can’t fundamentally alter it. Sure, you can go to the gym and improve your physique, but your basic structure is what it is.

• Your penis size — again, you can’t change it.

The only real option is to accept the things you can’t control.

Here’s another way to look at it:

From a very early age, women are bombarded with advertisements and media telling them they need to look a certain way to be desirable. As a result, many (not all, but a significant number) of women carry deep insecurities about their appearance.

So when they meet a guy who is genuinely comfortable and secure in his own skin — someone who isn’t constantly apologizing for or trying to hide parts of himself — it’s like a breath of fresh air.

That confidence stands out in the best possible way.

#4 Deal With Any Sexual Hang UPS (If Applicable)

Look, I’m just going to be very honest with you:

I’m not going to spend too much time on this section of the article. The reason is that I’m not a trained sex therapist—this is not my area of expertise.

However what I can say, is this:

If a person has any sort of sexual hang-ups or is sexually repressed, it will impact their sex appeal.

Why?

Because the brakes are essentially on.

This in turn affects how they talk to women, how they communicate, and their overall demeanor.

A lot of guys in this situation end up friendzoned because—there’s zero sexual energy coming through.

So if anybody is dealing with these kinds of problems, for whatever reason, speaking to a professional and working with a qualified sex therapist might be one of the best things that person can do.

#5 Maintain Your Appearance

I know some people will say it’s shallow and others will say it’s vain, but whether you like it or not, we are judged on our looks.

And looks play a role with regards to sex appeal. Really, it’s just about doing the simple things:

Moisturising every day, going to the dentist every six months, working out, wearing clothes that flatter your physique etc.

It’s the simple stuff.

I’m not going to go into a ton of detail here because I’ve actually already done a whole article explaining how to improve your looks — click this link here to check it out.

#6 Cultivate Assertiveness and Leadership

Sex appeal is heavily tied to a man’s actions and his ability to lead. Like I’ve previously alluded to in the article, it isn’t just about your looks — it’s about your energy, who you are as a person, your attitude, and your behaviour.

And if you speak to many women, they’ll tell you they expect the guy to make the first move.

It’s extremely rare for women to approach men they’re sexually attracted to — it’s the man who has to do the work.

You have to earn it.

I know a lot has been done for equality in the workplace, and that’s a very good thing because to be fair, in the past women were heavily marginalised.

But here’s the thing:

In the dating and relationship world, traditional gender roles still very much exist.

#7 Figure Out Which Women Are Best Suited to You and Your Personality

What you’ll tend to find with guys who succeed with women is that they stay in their lane.

They don’t chase women who aren’t interested in them—they only deal with women who GENUINELY like them for who they are.

So here’s the key:

As a man, you maximize your own potential. Then you figure out the types of women who are naturally attracted to your specific look, vibe, and personality.

Once you identify them, you focus exclusively on those kinds of women.

In today’s day and age, it’s easier than ever before to buy something.

Why?

Because we’re all walking around with smartphones in our pockets, and we’re also being marketed to like never before.

Turn on social media, and you’re seeing advertisements. Switch on your television, and you’re seeing advertisements.

Turn on your radio, and you’re hearing advertisements. Walk around your local city centre, and again you’re seeing billboards advertising to you.

Basically, we’ve got all these messages coming at us, telling us that we need to buy.

So it’s quite understandable why some people come to the conclusion that in order to be happy they need to buy things.

But the truth is, you don’t and psychology actually backs this up, so let’s talk about it in more detail.

#1 Hedonic Adaptation (The Hedonic Treadmill)

So, for those who don’t know, hedonic adaptation is basically the idea that we all have a baseline level of happiness and what tends to happen after positive or negative events is that we return to that baseline level.

For example, if you get a new job, you’ll initially feel great—you’ll be on a high, buzzing with excitement.

But soon afterward (days or weeks later), the novelty wears off.

It’s the same when you buy things: you feel good at first, riding that initial high, but then, as days or weeks pass, the excitement fades, and you return to your baseline.

And this leads perfectly to my next point:

The joy you experience from buying is temporary.

#2 Temporary Joy Only

You know yourself—when you buy new things, the feeling is never permanent, so it will never bring you lasting fulfillment.

Maybe they're bored, maybe they're lonely, maybe they're stressed—there's something going on in their lives.

If you actually look at it from a very logical point of view, who the hell needs 15 pairs of shoes?

You have two feet; you can only wear one pair at a time.

The point I’m making is this:

From a happiness perspective and even a financial perspective, it’s much better to buy what you actually need, rather than buying for buying sake.

#3 Endless Comparison

Obviously, this depends on how your “wired up,” but there’s an expression called “keeping up with the Joneses.”

Basically, it’s all about playing a comparison game:

In other words If you buy something, I need to buy something bigger, better, and faster.

For example, imagine two people living on the same street. One neighbor gets a new kitchen, and the other—who’s caught up in the comparison game—now feels compelled to get an even bigger one.

Not because they need it, but simply to outdo their neighbor.

The same goes for cars. If one neighbor buys a new car, the other has to go out and get a bigger, faster one—again, not out of necessity, but just to one-up them.

But this behavior is more common than you think, especially in middle class environments.

The problem is, that living this way will never make you truly happy, for two reasons:

1. Things don’t bring lasting happiness.

2. It will probably leave the person playing the comparison game drowning in a boatload of debt and what for “keeping up with the Joneses.”

#4 Many Possessions Require Ongoing Costs

A car is a perfect example of this—so is buying a house. You’re not just buying it once; they come with ongoing costs.

Let’s use a car as an example:

You have to fuel it, insure it, and maintain it. And let’s just say, for example, you’re somebody who’s living paycheck to paycheck—which, by the way, is a lot of people—if that car breaks down, it’s probably going to cause you a lot of stress.

It’s just something to think about.

And in this article here, I talked about the benefits of owning an old, reliable car—especially the psychological benefits.

Because at the end of the day, nobody needs—keyword here is needs—a top-end sports car.

The purpose of a car is to get you from A to B.

#5 Experiences Trump Things

And the beauty of this is that it doesn’t even need to be mega expensive.

This could be going go-karting with the kids, going out for a meal with family or friends, or going on a weekend away with the girlfriend or wife.

The reason for this is simple:

1. You create new memories.

2. It’s shared experiences that ultimately bring people closer together.

From a happiness perspective, if I had a choice between spending a couple of grand on a watch or a couple of grand on a camping trip with family and friends, nine times out of ten I’m choosing the camping trip.

#6 Materialism Linked to Lower Well-Being

So if you’ve made it this far in the article, you’ve probably come to the conclusion that buying things won’t make you happy.

And this ain’t just me saying this—studies back this up.

What the studies show is that highly materialistic people:
No. 1, tend to experience higher rates of depression, and
No. 2, they tend to be less grateful for the things they already have.

So let’s put things into perspective:

If you’re somebody who has a roof over your head, access to running water, and a fridge full of food, then you’re more blessed than you think.

#7 It Distracts from True Sources of Fulfillment

Sometimes in life, it’s the simple things that bring you the most joy.

For example:

Seeing your kids smile for the first time (money can’t buy that), building something with your hands so you get that sense of achievement, or contributing to a cause that means something to you.

Those three things that I’ve just mentioned will, from a happiness perspective, do more for you than buying things that you don’t need.

And what I’ve found in my own personal life is that the best things in life are either free or cost you next to nothing.

If you’re brand new to lifting and want to get strong and jacked as fast as humanly possible, nothing beats full-body workouts three days a week.

But before I get into why, let’s clear up what full-body training actually is—because it ain’t the bro splits you see, flooding your Instagram feed.

What’s the Difference Between Full Body and Split Workouts?

A full-body workout is exactly what it sounds like:

A single session where you train your entire body. That means you’re hitting your chest, back, arms, core and legs all in one workout.

And because you’re training the whole body at once, your exercise selection is heavily influenced by this goal.

You’ll primarily rely on compound movements — exercises that work multiple muscle groups simultaneously.

Think squats, deadlifts, lunges, farmer’s walks, pull-ups, dips, chest presses, and rows.

In contrast, a training split involves training different body parts on different days.

The most common example is the classic “bro split” (chest day, back day, leg day, etc.), typically done 5–6 days a week.

Another popular option is the upper/lower split, where you train upper body one day and lower body the next.

There are countless ways to structure your training, but when it comes to beginners who want to build muscle and get stronger as quickly as possible, it’s hard to beat full-body workouts.

Now let’s talk about why they’re so effective.

#1 You Train Every Major Muscle Group Frequently

The first benefit of full-body workouts is training frequency. They get you in the gym three times a week, hitting all the major muscle groups.

When you compare that to a typical bodybuilding ‘bro split’ — chest on Monday, back on Tuesday, and so on — you’re nowhere near hitting each muscle group as frequently as you do with full-body workouts three times a week.

Another big advantage worth mentioning is that full-body routines achieve this higher frequency without destroying recovery.

And this leads perfectly into my next point…

#2 Full Body Workouts Maximize Recovery

The second thing you need to know is that muscle isn’t actually built in the gym—it’s built during recovery.

And when you train full-body three times a week, you’re maximizing recovery because you essentially have four days off.

You build muscle: when you’re outside the gym.

I always say, when it comes to working out, you want to do the least amount of work possible that still elicits the most change.

More isn’t always better and if you’re brand new to strength training, you want to make your life as simple and easy as possible.

#3 Full Body Workouts Create a Stronger Hormonal Response

And the reason why it triggers a stronger hormonal response compared to typical training splits is the amount of stress you’re putting on the body.

Look at it this way:

When you train full-body, you’re hitting all the major muscle groups in a single session.

Your body has to then respond to that big stressor by releasing more muscle-building hormones like testosterone and growth hormone.

And yes, bodybuilding-style bro splits also release testosterone and growth hormone, but nowhere near to the same extent as full-body workouts.

The overall stress just isn’t comparable.

And like I mentioned earlier in point 1, when you train full-body three times a week, you’re essentially creating three big hormonal spikes per week.

That means you’re putting your body in a far better position to build muscle and get stronger.

#4 Full Body Workouts Are Simpler From a Programming Perspective

If you’re brand new to the gym, it’s in your best interest to keep things as simple and easy as possible.

And this is exactly where full-body workouts shine, because they basically have you training just the seven fundamental movement patterns (which I discuss in this article).

That’s it – the programming is nice and simple.

For example:

• On Monday you go in and train three of the movement patterns,

• On Wednesday you train another three,

• And on Friday you come in and just do loaded carries.

In those three days you’ve hit all seven movement patterns.

And unlike bodybuilding-style bro splits, you never have to stress about whether you’ve trained your arms enough, or if chest day is too close to back day.

You get everything done in three sessions.

#5 Full Body Workouts Make You a Better Lifter

When it comes to learning anything, frequency is king—and this applies not just to weightlifting but to basically every other skill too.

Well, full-body workouts have you performing the biggest “bang-for-your-buck” exercises on a regular basis.

That’s why what’s generally recommended for beginners is to stick with full-body routines for around two years.

That way you get good, at the basic lifts.

#6 Full Body Workouts Are Extremely Time Efficient

Because of the nature of full-body workouts—where you’re training everything—they place a lot of stress on your body.

However, because they create this much systemic stress, you’ll find it’s in your best interest to keep your workouts nice and short—typically no longer than 60 minutes.

So from a time-efficiency perspective, this is a win for two big reasons:

1. You’re not spending hours in the gym every day.

2. You only need to train three days a week, making it incredibly time-efficient.

   

#7 Full Body Workouts Allow You to Miss Sessions

I want to make this abundantly clear:

I’m not suggesting for one second that you start skipping workouts.

However, sometimes life gets in the way, and not every week is going to be perfect, and this is exactly where full-body workouts shine.

For example, let’s say you train on Monday and Wednesday, but for whatever reason you can’t train on Friday—maybe something comes up at work and you have to stay late.

If you miss that Friday session, it really doesn’t matter that much.

Why?

Because you’ve already trained your entire body twice that week, so no muscle group gets neglected.

Now let’s compare that to a typical bro split, where each day is dedicated to a different body part.

Miss Friday in that program, and suddenly an entire muscle group gets skipped for the week, throwing everything off.

When life happens, you’re still covered.

And if you’ve made it this far in the article, I highly recommend checking out the one I wrote on movement patterns because that’s where you’ll discover the exact exercises you need to be doing.

If you actually talk to a lot of people, they’ll tell you that female relationships are way more complex—and also, in many ways, more shallow.

But I’d argue that male friendships aren’t exactly perfect either.

At the end of the day, regardless of gender, you’re dealing with human beings who have emotions, insecurities, and sometimes childhood trauma.

The main difference between male and female friendships ultimately comes down to how we bond.

Males tend to bond through shared activities and roasting each other. Females, on the other hand, usually bond through deep conversation and emotional disclosure.

And what I’ve personally found in my own life is that you don’t truly know someone—man or woman until they’ve been tested.

#1 Most Male Friendships Are Transactional at Their Core

The truth is, a lot of guys don’t really have true friends — what they have are allies and compared to female friendships, male friendships tend to dissolve much faster when circumstances change.

For example, let’s say you consider a guy a solid friend. Then he gets married. Don’t be surprised if you suddenly start seeing him way less.

Another example:

A guy’s financial situation completely changes. Maybe he becomes rich, or maybe he loses everything and becomes poor. Either way, the dynamic shifts, and sometimes that causes the friendship to fade or even create problems.

The dark truth about male friendships is that many of them are maintained primarily for utility. You kind of have to bring something to the table to stay in the group.

• So this might be the guy who can make everyone laugh.

• Or the one in high school, who just passed his driving test and can now drive his friends around.

A lot of male friendships survive for these kinds of practical reasons.

And all I can say is this:

Don’t be the guy who gives everything and gets nothing back in return. Make sure your own needs are being met too. And yes, this absolutely applies to romantic relationships with women as well.

#2 Jealousy and One-Upmanship Can Sometimes Lurk Beneath the Surface

Human beings are incredibly competitive. If you want proof, just study history and look at how many wars have been started.

If you’re someone who’s played sports all your life, you already know this.

What you’ll tend to find is that we all quietly compete with one another—whether we like to admit it or not.

And what we tend to compete over is how much money we make, access to women, and physical fitness.

You could say these three things are markers of status.

And again whether we like to admit it or not, human beings are hardwired to detect status.

So, for example, if in one of those three areas I just mentioned you outdo one of your friends, don’t be surprised if envy and jealousy show up at the door.

And what you’ll tend to find with people is that they genuinely want the best for you—I’m not that cynical, and I do believe that—but here’s what they don’t want:

It goes back to male competition.

We are competitive by nature, and when someone outdoes another person, it can sometimes cause problems especially if said person hasn’t done the deep personal development work and become truly comfortable in their own skin.

#3 Emotional Intimacy Is Rare and Often Punished

From a very early age, boys are essentially conditioned to suppress their emotions. In many social circles, showing vulnerability is seen as weakness, and expressing it might not go down well.

So, most boys learn this lesson very early on — and they just don’t do it.

Then what often happens is that this behaviour carries over into adulthood. You can have two guys who’ve been friends for 15, 20, even 25 years — so we’re talking a long time but they don’t actually know much about each other on a deeper level, because they never talk about anything personal.

Like I said at the start of the article, when boys bond, it’s usually activity-based — playing sports, gaming, roasting each other, etc.

Research has actually been done on this — I believe it was by the American Psychological Association — and what they found is that men who only have male friends tend to feel lonelier than men who have female friends or mixed-friendship groups.

In the future, I’m planning to do a whole article on the benefits of the “female friend zone.”

Because if there is genuinely no sexual interest — meaning you don’t want to sleep with her, she doesn’t want to sleep with you, and you’re both genuinely happy with that — that’s the key:

Both of you are happy — then there is absolutely nothing wrong with being friends with a woman.

#4 “Ride or Die” Loyalty Is Mostly a Myth

While ‘ride or die’ might sound good in rap songs or look cool on social media, the truth is that in real life, it rarely happens.

Most people’s loyalty has limits.

And true loyalty usually reveals itself in two extreme situations:

1. When you lose everything — when you’re broke, depressed, divorced, or hit rock bottom in any way.

2. When you become highly successful — making a lot of money, getting in great shape, achieving a big goal, etc.

It’s at both ends of the spectrum that you really see who your true friends are.

When you’re at rock bottom, most people disappear.

Why?

Because supporting someone who’s drowning can be emotionally draining, and many don’t want to risk being pulled under themselves.

Self-preservation kicks in.

On the opposite end, when you achieve a high level of success, some of the same people can become envious or jealous.

The point I’m trying to make is this:

Whether you hit rock bottom or reach the top, the dynamics of your relationships almost always change.

Friendships that once felt solid, can then start to feel transactional.

#5 Jealousy Over Women Destroys More Male Friendships Than People Like to Admit

I don’t think I’ve ever said this in any of my other articles, but I’m going to say it now:

And the reason why is male sexual competition.

Let me give you an example.

Imagine a guy who, throughout school, was kind of the ugly duckling.

He didn’t get much attention from girls, he blended into the background, wasn’t very confident, that sort of thing.

Then, as an adult, he starts hitting the gym, transforms his physique, gets in great shape — and with that comes a big boost in confidence.

Suddenly, women start noticing him. He’s getting way more attention than ever before.

Don’t be surprised if the guys in that social circle notice this too — and some of them start getting envious or jealous.

A lot of people don’t admit this, but among male friends, there’s an unspoken hierarchy.

Nobody really talks about it openly, but everyone kind of knows where they stand.

Well when someone who used to be lower in that hierarchy suddenly moves up — especially because he’s now pulling much hotter women — it can sometimes cause problems within the group.

I’m going to be really honest with you:

I was humming and hawing about whether to even write this article. And the reason is simple, self-awareness isn’t exactly the most exciting topic.

It ain’t sexy.

But because this website is geared towards self-improvement, I thought to myself,

Because here’s the truth:

When you improve your self-awareness, it can change your life for the better.

When you know yourself on a deeper level, you simply start making better decisions.

In other words it’s a superpower.

For example, so many people stay in jobs they hate—partly due to a lack of self-awareness.

I’m not saying it’s the only reason, but it’s definitely one of them.

It’s the same with relationships. Countless people stay in ones that no longer serve them. Again, a lack of self-awareness can play a big part.

So before I dive into strategies with regards to improving self-awareness, let’s first define it, that way we’re both on the same page.

What is Self-Awareness?

Self-awareness is basically what it says on the tin:

And here’s the thing you need to be aware of—there are actually two types.

The first is internal self-awareness; the second is external self-awareness.

Internal self-awareness is knowing who you are.

It’s understanding how your emotions impact your decisions, It’s knowing your values, your strengths and weaknesses, and your internal motivations.

To put it simply, it’s knowing what makes you tick as a human being.

External self-awareness is understanding how people in your environment see you and then using that information to get along with them.

For example, the behavior and language acceptable on a building site aren’t necessarily acceptable in an office environment.

Someone with high external self-awareness will adapt their behavior accordingly to fit in.

Now that we know what it is, let’s discuss 4 ways to improve self-awareness.

I’ll give you 2 ways to boost internal self-awareness and 2 ways to boost external self-awareness.

#1 Meditation

With regards to improving internal self-awareness, meditation is as good as it gets.

A lot of people overcomplicate it, but it’s actually quite simple:

You just sit down on the floor and stare at a wall.

That’s it.

You don’t have to breathe through your nostrils. You don’t have to do any of that.

You just sit down on the floor and look at a wall.

And you might be thinking, “Well, how does this increase internal self-awareness?”

Well here’s what happens when you meditate:

When you sit down in a distraction free environment, and stare at a wall, you will get bored very quickly, so what happens is random thoughts, memories, emotions, and bodily sensations will all just pop up.

You could say you are re-connecting to yourself.

And the key to getting the benefits out of meditation is really to just surrender.

Let’s say, for example, you’re sitting there meditating, just staring at a wall, and a situation from 10 years ago randomly pops up.

Your mind will probably start going off on one and start running scenarios:

“I should have said this. I should have done that. Blah, blah, blah.”

Your job as a meditator is to let go.

And how do you let go?

You bring your mind back to the present moment.

How I personally do this is by meditating next to an open window where I can hear cars driving past.

So whenever I find myself running with a thought, (which happens regularly) I just tune in and listen to the cars driving outside. That brings me back to the present.

Just tap the play button below, and listen to the car driving past.

👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽

As you can imagine, if you do this on a regular basis, your internal self-awareness is going to increase drastically.

As a nice little side effect, you’ll probably also be able to handle your emotions a hell of a lot better than the average person.

Why?

Because you have essentially exposed yourself to them.

So meditation is powerful.

But I want to drop a disclaimer before I move on to the next way of increasing self-awareness:

And that is meditation is not for everybody.

The reason why is that if someone has PTSD or has gone through some really traumatic experiences, meditation can bring those things back up—and that can sometimes send people over the edge.

So it’s just something to be mindful of.

#2 Journaling

So, if meditation isn’t for you, another option for increasing internal self-awareness is journaling.

Basically, what you do is brain-dump:

The beauty of journaling is that it’s a safe space. Unlike talking to a person, the paper doesn’t judge. You can write whatever the hell you want.

This makes it really good for venting—which is obviously great for your emotional and mental health.

To make journaling effective, read your entries at a later date, when you’re in a different emotional state.

This essentially gives you a better understanding of yourself because you start to see things on paper.

You’re seeing, on paper, how you tick—how you respond to situations, what pisses you off, and the patterns in your behavior.

Journaling can be an extremely valuable tool with regards to increasing internal self-awareness.

Now, let’s talk, external self-awareness.

#3 Seek Feedback

Practically every single person on this planet has blind spots.

Nobody is perfect, and what you’ll tend to find is that people can sometimes see things in you that you can’t see yourself.

So this is where seeking feedback comes in.

But you don’t want to just ask one person—you want to ask as many people as possible.

Why?

Because when you ask one person, their feedback might be skewed depending on their relationship with you, their mood, and their own biases.

Let’s say, for example, you ask 5 people something about you, and all 5 say the same thing.

Well, then there’s probably an element of truth to it.

This feedback is valuable because it gives you the information you need, to change your behavior—if you feel that’s the best thing to do.

#4 Pay Close Attention to People’s Non Verbal’s

When it comes to communication, the majority of it is nonverbal—so this includes body language, facial expressions, and so on.

And how this ties in with external self-awareness is basically “reading the room.”

So, if you walk into a room and everybody’s quiet—let’s say, for example, in a library—and you come in all jovial, all happy, and all shouty, that’s probably not the best thing to do.

If I saw somebody doing that, I would think to myself, That person lacks external self-awareness. They’re not reading the room.

And obviously, this has an impact on whether you’re going to get along with people or not.

Another example:

If a guy is just sitting there alone with a scowl on his face with his arms crossed, if I don’t know him, I’m probably not going to approach him.

If I do know the guy, I might approach him and crack a joke just to lighten the mood.

Again, it’s reading the room.

So, to summarize: everything we’ve talked about:

Internal self-awareness allows you to be grounded. It basically lets you know yourself, and when you know yourself, you make better decisions.

External self-awareness makes you adaptive, which helps with forming and building relationships.

There is no self-improvement without self-awareness.

Go on the internet, and nobody talks about social class.

In fact, go into the real world, and it’s the same story—nobody discusses it.

And personally I think a big reason for this, is that it’s an uncomfortable topic to bring up.

I’d put it in the same category as politics and religion; you just don’t talk about it because it can lead to judgment and discomfort.

However, since this website offers dating advice, I’m going to openly discuss it.

Why?

Because social class impacts relationships far more than most people realize.

#1 Shared Values and Lifestyles:

So just for a bit of context for those outside the UK, I come from a northern town in England that is predominantly working-class.

And in terms of relationships, the women I’ve mostly been with are working-class women.

And to be fair I’ve actually been around, middle class women due to work and what not and what I’ve personally found is that on a romantic level nothing ever really developed with middle class women.

You see your class shapes you: it shapes your habits, your priorities, and, as I’ve mentioned, your values.

So, when two people come from different class backgrounds, it can sometimes be difficult to connect.

And let’s be honest: on a romantic level, especially for long-term relationships, connection is essential.

Even from a financial perspective, people from the same socioeconomic background tend to value the same leisure activities, purchase similar items, and share comparable career aspirations.

You could say “like attracts like,” and people naturally gravitate toward those who are similar to themselves.

Human nature!

#2 Access to Social Circles

Something that I learned early on in life is that it’s not what you know; it’s who you know. And social class can impact the sort of people you get access to.

For example, in Britain, a lot of upper-middle-class families send their kids to private school.

And yes, while the education in private school is probably better than the education in public/state school, it’s not the only reason why they’re sending their kids to a private school.

You could say it’s a form of networking.

So you might be thinking to yourself, well, what the hell has this got to do with dating?

It’s got a lot to do with dating.

Because if you’ve got a kid who’s gone to private school, the girls in that environment when he was a teenager are all going to be rich girls.

It’s the same with a working-class boy who’s gone to school in a working-class neighbourhood: the girls in that environment are going to be working class.

So just by being in a particular school, it impacts your dating choices, and your childhood experiences shape you as an adult.

#3 Economic Compatibility

You probably already know this, but it’s worth mentioning anyway:

However, from a long-term relationship or child-raising perspective, it makes sense that you’re both on the same page money-wise.

And as I discussed earlier in the article, people from different social class backgrounds tend to view money differently, and a big reason for this is their upbringing and education.

So, what you really want to do when you get into a long-term relationship—obviously not at the start, but further down the line—is have conversations about money.

You want to examine her spending habits and ensure you’re aligned, because if your spending habits differ from hers, there will be potential problems down the line.

Let’s say for example you’re somebody who’s got his head screwed on—you like saving money, investing, doing all that good stuff—yet she’s happy to go to a department store and blow thousands on shoes, it’s probably not going to work.

And look, it’s not about changing the other person; it’s about accepting them for who they are and this leads me perfectly on to the next point.

#4 Cultural and Educational Gaps

I know this from being around people from different social classes, and the conversations are different.

For example, the conversation you have with a girl from, let’s say, a council estate which is the equivalent of the projects in the US—is going to be completely different from the conversations you have with an upper-middle-class woman.

So, relatability plays a role, and this is where education comes in.

Because what you’ll tend to find is that people from middle-class backgrounds tend to be formally educated: they’ve gone to college, they’ve gone to university, they’ve done all that stuff.

It’s not very often you meet a woman from a council estate in the UK that’s degreed up to her eyeballs.

I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, because it does happen, but it’s not common.

Another potential problem is cultural gaps.

Let’s say, for example, you’ve got a guy from an upper-middle-class background. And because of the family he was born into because his family has money—he’s been able to travel the world from a very, very early age.

He’s gone to different places.

Yet he meets a girl, and she’s from a poor background, and she’s never left the country.

Do you see where problems could arise?

They’re basically looking at the world completely different, their worldviews are not the same.

And look… this isn’t to say that one is better than the other, it’s to say that there’s a difference.

#5 Societal and Family Expectations

Here’s the thing about marriage that not a lot of people talk about:

Her friends come along with the package, because during gatherings and events of that nature, these people are going to be there.

Let’s just assume for a minute that she’s close to these people. That means they’re going to influence her, whether you like it or not, and this is where class differences could potentially cause problems.

Because family might not be thrilled that their son (an upper-class guy) is dating a working-class woman, or vice versa—a working-class woman’s friends and family might not be pleased that she’s dating an upper-class guy.

And as you know yourself, family politics can often sway people’s decisions.

Speak to many people and they will tell you that the first 7 years of life are the most important, and while there is some truth to that, I would argue that the decade from 18 to 28 is equally as important.

Why?

Because It’s during these years, where you transition from boyhood to manhood, it’s during this decade where your adult identity is formed.

So in this article, I’m going to share 4 reasons why traveling in your 20s can be a valuable use of your time.

#1 Traveling Is the Best Form of Education

I can only speak for the UK, where I say this, but formal education is compulsory until the age of 16.

And up until that point, a person has very little life experience and a major reason for this is that much of their learning has took place in a classroom environment.

Here’s an analogy that I like to use:

And this is where traveling comes in.

You see, when you leave the nest and start traveling to different countries, you’re essentially stepping out of your comfort zone.

Let’s be honest: if you’ve lived at home with your parents, they’ve likely done a lot for you.

But when you go traveling, you have to look after yourself.

For example, you need to find accommodation, cook your own food, learn how to budget your money, because If you don’t budget, you’ll run out of funds.

You may also need to find part-time work or even full time to work (temporarily) to avoid running out of money.

These experiences teach you how to live and survive in the real world, something a classroom cannot fully prepare you for.

Another benefit of traveling, from an educational perspective, is that it provides exposure to different cultures, especially if you visit countries outside the West.

You’ll also meet people from all walks of life.

From an educational standpoint, this is invaluable.

I would go so far as to say that no college or university can provide an education as rich as traveling.

#2 You Have Fewer Responsibilities in Your 20s

Look at it this way:

Why?

Your life simply doesn't allow it.

However, if you're 18, 19, or 20, still living at home with Mom and Dad, now is the perfect time to go see the world.

Do it while you're young!

Get a job and save up as much money as you can.

Another benefit (worth mentioning) of traveling in your younger years, is that your friends are probably in the same boat.

They're likely not married, mortgaged up, or raising children.

And this leads perfectly to my next point and that is, you will create lasting memories and stories that will stay with you for a lifetime.

#3 You Create Memories and Stories

In this article, I mentioned how time and shared experiences can bring people closer together.

Well why not you and your friends travel the world together?

What a fantastic way to create unforgettable memories and stories that could bond you for a lifetime.

Plus, you’ll meet incredible people along the way.

Travelers tend to be open-minded, and you’ll cross paths with folks from all over the globe.

People I’d never have met back home.

Traveling changes you for the better.

#4 Gives You the Opportunity to Discover Who You Are

Every single person on this planet is a product of their environment, no question about it.

So let’s explore this in more detail.

From early childhood, our parents urge us to go to school, study hard, get good grades, and secure a good job.

At school, teachers reinforce this message, emphasizing the importance of hard work and academic success.

As we enter the workforce, bosses guide or sometimes dictate our career paths.

At home, spouses/family members influence our decisions, subtly or overtly.

At work, colleagues pressure us to fit in and adhere to what’s considered "normal."

Turn on the television, we’re bombarded by advertisements dictating what’s normal or fashionable and what’s not.

So my point is this:

From a very early age, external influences surround us from all angles, shaping our thoughts, behaviors, and aspirations.

In many ways, you could say we’re programmed by our environment.

So one of the greatest benefits of traveling is that it allows you to step outside this environment. It allows you to escape the constant noise of societal expectations.

This distance can help you discover who you truly are, free from the pressures that have shaped you.

If you want to understand your authentic self, traveling to a new place and leaving behind the familiar can be one of the most powerful steps you can take.

So you’re thinking to yourself, “I want to get bigger, faster, and stronger. I want more attention from women.”

So the logical thing to do, right?

Is to just jump on the juice—take anabolic steroids.

Well, before you do that, read this article because I’m going to explain the side effects of taking anabolic steroids, and, to be honest, they aren’t pretty.

First, a quick disclaimer:

I’m just a gym‑rat—a person who loves working out and spending time at the gym.

I’m not a doctor or an endocrinologist, so please keep that in mind. The information I’m sharing in this article comes from my own research.

#1 Reduced Sperm Count

I’m going to ask you a simple question:

Because if you do, using steroids is not advisable because they can have detrimental effects on your reproductive system.

Let me explain how this works.

Basically when you take anabolic steroids, you flood your body with synthetic testosterone, a hormone your body naturally produces.

And your body is smart and responds to this influx.

It signals that it no longer needs to produce testosterone naturally, as the drugs are essentially doing the job, that the body should be doing.

So as a result, this can cause the testicles to reduce or even completely stop sperm production, potentially leading to infertility.

And to be fair some readers might think this effect is reversible, and while there is some truth to that, nothing is guaranteed.

So why take the risk?

#2 Infertility

Let’s talk about sex for a minute.

When you ejaculate inside a woman, you release millions—sometimes billions—of sperm cells, depending on how healthy you are.

So if you are like most people and want children, having millions of sperm cells, is in your best interest as this increases the odds of fertilization.

And of course the woman’s health also plays a crucial role, but since you’re not a woman, the only thing you can focus on, is yourself.

So, if you’re a teenager or in your twenties, why would you consider taking anabolic steroids?

There’s generally no need for it, and you can actually boost your testosterone levels NATURALLY without resorting to drugs.

And I in the future, I’ll eventually create an article covering this topic in more detail.

#3 Shrunken Testicles

Let's explain why anabolic steroids can potentially shrink your testicles.

It comes down to the fact that you're introducing an external source of testosterone into your body.

So when your testicles no longer need to produce testosterone, they can shrink because they're not being utilized.

So let’s recap some of the points we’ve covered in this article:

• Infertility

• Reduced sperm count

• Shrunken testicles

Unfortunately, the news doesn’t get any better from here.

#4 Erectile Dysfunction

For those who don't know, erectile dysfunction basically means you can't hold an erection.

What an absolute nightmare.

Generally speaking, when someone is using drugs like anabolic steroids, their sex drive and ability to get and hold an erection is usually fine.

The problem starts when they come off the drugs. And some people might be thinking, "Yeah, but they need to follow certain procedures, like post-cycle therapy (PCT), and so on."

But here's the thing: even if you follow all the procedures and do your PCT, there's no guarantee you'll get your sex drive back.

Let this sink in:

When you take anabolic steroids, you are messing with your reproductive system.

#5 Hair Loss

There are a couple of things I want to mention here.

The first is that not everyone who takes steroids will lose their hair. Genetics play a significant role, and some people are simply more susceptible to hair loss than others.

The second point is that certain steroids carry a higher risk of hair loss than others.

So let’s explain how it works:

When you take anabolic steroids, you increase your testosterone levels. Your body then converts some of that testosterone into a hormone called DHT.

I want to emphasize the word CAN because not everybody who takes gear, will lose their hair, however if you’re genetically predisposed to hair loss, steroids will probably accelerate that process.

So to be on the safe side it’s best to steer clear of steroids.

#6 Man Boobs (Gynecomastia)

Taking anabolic steroids can indeed cause gynecomastia, commonly known as "man boobs," and it all comes down to hormone imbalances.

The body is incredibly smart. When you take anabolic steroids, you're flooding it with an excessive amount of testosterone—far more than your body would naturally produce.

To compensate, your body ramps up estrogen production.

For those that don’t know estrogen is the dominant hormone in women, and you don't need me to tell you what women have:

Breasts.

And some people might say something along the lines of:

"But you can choose certain steroids over others to reduce the risk, or do post-cycle therapy (PCT) to manage side effects."

Sure, those options exist, but as I've said throughout this article, why even take the risks in the first place?

#7 Severe Acne

To cut a long story short, anabolic steroids increase testosterone levels.

And of course, genetics and hygiene play a role, so not everyone who takes anabolic steroids will develop acne.

But as I’ve said throughout this article, why take the risk?

Because you can increase your testosterone levels naturally, and sometime in the future, I’ll create an article explaining how to do this.