I was actually humming and hawing about doing this article, because I’m fully aware that encouraging some people (not all people, but some) to be mentally strong can backfire.

Some people can take it on the chin, whereas others take it personally, and it can get them down.

So, to clarify:

In this article, when I’m encouraging someone to be mentally strong, I am not attacking that person.

I am not saying that this person is broken or anything like that. In fact, I’d argue that in order to live a beautiful life, you need to experience both the lows and the highs.

And I believe I’m fully qualified to be writing this article, because in my own personal life I’ve had plenty of lows.

So let’s talk about this in more detail.

#1 Accept What You Can’t Control

What you’ll tend to find is that a large part of human suffering comes from people trying to control things that are essentially outside of their control.

Mentally strong people on the other hand, do the opposite and tend to focus on the things within their control (see image above).

So let’s discuss some things that are outside of your control.

The first one is the weather. Whether it’s sunny, raining, or snowing outside, there’s nothing you can do about it.

The opinions of others is another one. Yes, you can treat people with love, kindness, and respect and do the best that you can, but ultimately, you cannot control what people think about you.

The economy is another one. There’s not much you can do there.

Your past is another. What’s happened in the past has happened, and there’s nothing you can do to change it.

And if you’re a content creator, you’ve probably learned this through personal experience:

You cannot control the algorithm. It is outside of your control.

So you know what the sane, rational thing to do is?

It’s to not focus on those things and to focus on the things within your control.

And this leads me perfectly on to the next point.

#2 Protect Your Basics

I don’t care how mentally strong you are:

If your basics aren’t protected and managed, everything else becomes more difficult, and that includes emotional regulation.

So what are the basics?

Let’s quickly run over those things.

The first one is sleep, and it is number one for a reason, because it is the foundation of health.

When your sleep is dialed in, meaning you’re getting the right amount of sleep and you’re also going to bed at the same time and waking up at the same time each day, it makes everything else easier.

You are just a better human being when your sleep is dialed in.

Protect it.

The second one is nutrition. The majority of the time, you need to be consuming whole, natural foods, and the diet needs to be high in protein.

When I say this, I’m not saying you can never enjoy yourself, that you can never have cake, ice cream, or pizza.

Of course you can have those things, but the majority of the time it’s whole natural foods.

The third thing is physical exercise. Physical exercise is so important because it’s not only good for your physical health but also for your mental health, which is obviously good for emotional regulation.

And the thing is, with physical exercise, this can be really simple:

Two to three days a week of full-body workouts in the gym, combined with daily walks.

When we’re talking daily walks, that’s roughly 7,000 to 10,000 steps per day. Like I said, it can be kept as simple as possible.

Finally, we have stress management. If you’re doing all of the things I’ve just mentioned, this will help de-stress you, but stress management is also about spending time with the right people and being in the right environment.

For you to function at your best, you need to protect your basics.

#3 Feel Your Emotions Instead of Fighting Them

Mental strength isn’t about suppressing your emotions. It’s about allowing yourself to feel them and then choosing how to act.

In other words, you don’t fight them, and you don’t push them away. You surrender to them.

The analogy that perfectly describes this is that your emotions are like the weather inside of you.

And when it comes to the weather, you can’t change it, so you surrender to it.

For example, when it’s raining outside, you don’t try to change it. You put on a raincoat or grab an umbrella.

You adapt.

It’s the same when it’s sunny:

Again, you can’t change it, so you put on your shorts and adapt.

If it’s snowing, your winter jacket comes on. Again, you don’t change it.

You adapt.

Your emotions work exactly the same way. You surrender to them, you allow yourself to feel them, and you don’t suppress them.

#4 Set Boundaries

Saying no is a strength. Let me repeat that:

The way I like to put it is that nobody can pour from an empty cup. For you to be of service to other people, your cup needs to be adequately filled.

In other words, to be selfless, you first need to be selfish.

So don’t feel guilty for wanting “me time.” Tell people no if that’s the best thing to do.

Stop overcommitting, and stop people-pleasing, because eventually it will wear you down.

It is okay to put your needs first.

In numerous articles on this website, I’ve said that the most important relationship is the one with yourself.

It’s not the one with your spouse. It’s not the one with your kids and it’s not the one with your boss.

It’s the relationship with yourself.

#5 Do Hard Things on Purpose, in Doses You Can Absorb

A little bit of stress in moderation is actually good for you, and this is why, from a mental toughness perspective, you need to be doing things that challenge you.

The key here, right, is to do it in doses that you can absorb, because too much stress for too long a period of time won’t build you up. It will damage you.

A good example of this is strength training. When you go to the gym and lift weights, you are stressing the muscle tissue, and what generally happens, if recovery is dialed in, is that the muscle will grow back bigger and stronger.

That way, the muscle is better able to handle it next time.

In other words, it adapts.

In nature, it’s the same. Roots and branches grow strong on trees because they’ve been exposed to the wind.

They’ve been exposed to resistance.

Trees that have grown up in sheltered environments tend to grow fast, but then they collapse under their own weight, because they haven’t built that strong wood, so to speak.

They haven’t been exposed to the wind, which in turn makes it stronger.

The way I like to put it is:

You do not build mental toughness by wrapping yourself in bubble wrap and lying in bed all day.

You build mental toughness by exposing yourself to a little bit of stress and recovering from it.

And this could be as simple as taking a cold shower for 20 to 30 seconds after reading this article.

If you get a lot of your dating advice online, you'll tend to find that a lot of people talk about looks, money, and status.

But here's the thing:

Looks, money, and status will certainly help when it comes to attracting women. Let me repeat that:

Attracting women.

But looks, money, and status don't keep women around. In fact, you need to bring more to the table, and that's what I'm going to be talking about in this article.

So let's get into it.

#1 Looks, Money, Status Gets You in the Door, Not Through It

Now, this is what a lot of people ain’t telling you:

Looks, money, and status is not the be-all and end-all.

And let’s say for example, you’ve got a guy who’s openly advertising his riches and his status.

Well, that might cause him problems, because he might start attracting women he really doesn’t want in his life.

Think along the lines of gold diggers and women who just want to use him for his lifestyle.

Obviously, geography plays a role here, because certain environments tend to attract women who operate from a more transactional perspective.

They aren’t getting with these guys because they genuinely like them. They’re getting with them so they can use them.

So if you are somebody who lives in a so-called “rich environment,” you need to be very, very careful when dealing with women.

In fact, even if you’re just a regular working-class lad, you need to be careful.

Always.

#2 Hedonic Adaptation Kicks In

The problem with relying on money and status to attract women is that human beings have a tendency to get used to things very quickly.

Let’s say, for example, you’ve got a guy who has used his money and status to get the attention of a particular woman.

At the start, she might be impressed by the car he’s driving, the watch on his wrist, and the house that he lives in.

But eventually, the novelty will wear off.

This is the problem with this approach.

If a guy has used money and status to attract a woman, don’t be surprised if, later on down the line, he starts seeing her true colours.

You might find out that she doesn’t actually like him.

Ultimately, you want a woman to like you for who you are.

#3 Emotional Safety Matters More Over Time

A really good example to use here is the situation with Tom Brady and his ex-wife, Gisele Bündchen.

You see, Tom Brady’s got it all:

He’s got the money, he’s got the status, and his looks are debatable (I’ll let you decide that).

But anyway, those two are no longer together, and according to my research (so please take this with a grain of salt), they split because they grew apart.

That’s what I’ve gathered through my research, with Bündchen apparently saying that their values, or should I say needs, were no longer aligned.

Just read into that as you will.

And the thing is, right, Bündchen is now with another guy. This other guy is a Brazilian jiu-jitsu instructor, and on a money and status level, let’s be honest, Tom Brady is in a different league.

Yet Bündchen is with this new guy.

#4 Looks Fade, and So Does Attraction Built Only on Them

When it comes to one-night stands and quick flings, it’s really a combination of looks and charisma, even more so charisma.

For example, I’ve known guys in the past who weren’t the best-looking dudes, but because they were charismatic, they could easily pull.

The thing is though, when it comes to long-term relationships, you need more than looks and charisma.

To name a few, your personalities have to complement each other, and your values and goals need to be aligned.

You also need to be able to resolve conflict, because conflict will happen.

So if you’re a good-looking guy, I wouldn’t rely exclusively on your looks. You still need a personality.

You still need hobbies. You still need stuff going on in your life.

And I’m pretty sure most guys will agree with me when I say this:

And that is most guys would rather date a woman who’s a 6 or a 7 in looks but has a decent personality than date a woman who’s a 9 in looks but is boring as hell.

Like I said earlier, you need to look past a woman’s beauty.

#5 Women Do Not Need a Provider (Like They Once Did)

This is a big reason why you shouldn’t lead with your wallet or your job title:

It ain’t the 1950s.

Women can provide for themselves and it’s not uncommon to see women working, and sometimes even see women earning more money than men.

A lot of people, especially a lot of traditional guys, complain about this, but the thing is, it actually benefits both sexes.

It benefits the man because he doesn’t have to shoulder the responsibility of being the sole breadwinner.

It also benefits the woman because she’s not tied to the kitchen and potentially trapped as a housewife.

The truth is because women, are now on more equal footing in the workplace, they can date more like a man, especially if the woman has high sex appeal and is charismatic.

If she has both of those things, she can go after the men she’s sexually attracted to and this is one of the reasons why I promote enhancing your sex appeal on this website.

Because if you have sex appeal, you won’t even need to lead with your wallet or job title.

Even if you have the money and the status.

#6 Communication Solves Problems That Assets Can’t

I touched on this earlier when I used the example of Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen's divorce.

On paper, Tom Brady has everything, yet Gisele is with a jiu-jitsu instructor who some might say is lower-ranked in terms of money and status.

And in numerous articles on this website, I've talked about the importance of open and honest communication, because once resentment kicks in and people stop trusting each other, it's not a matter of if the relationship will end, but when.

Open and honest communication is so, so important.

#7 Money Can’t Replace Presence

The greatest gift you can give anybody, whether that’s your spouse, your children (especially your children), or your friends, is your two ears and your undivided attention.

But you see, the problem is that many so-called “high-value” men tend to work a lot.

They tend to be workaholics, and this can sometimes leave a woman feeling emotionally neglected.

And in this article here, I talk about the five things that most relationships need in order to survive. I highly recommend that you check it out.

When it comes to choosing a gym to train at, you'll tend to find that the very first thing people look at is the price.

And yes, while price is certainly important because it needs to fit within your budget, I'd actually argue there are more important factors in a gym membership than the price.

In fact, the things I'm going to talk about in this article can make all the difference in whether somebody is consistent and goes to the gym regularly, or signs up, uses the membership for a couple of months, and then stops going.

So let's talk about this in more detail.

#1 Convenience and Location (The Most Important Thing)

The very first thing, and the most important, is the location.

So is it easy for you to get there?

Is it in a convenient location?

And this can make all the difference between somebody going on a regular basis and somebody not, because if the commute is too far, it becomes much, much easier to talk yourself out of going.

In an ideal world, there would be a gym on every single street, so a gym would be a stone’s throw away from your home or your workplace.

But the world is far from ideal, and often you will have to commute.

So what you want to do is make that commute as short as possible.

Before you join any gym, you need to ask yourself this simple question:

If the answer is yes, then that is a massive tick.

#2 Know the Opening Times, Know Your Schedule

Before you sign anything, you need to know your schedule and the opening hours of the gym.

For example, in the UK there are gyms that are open 24/7.

And for somebody who does shift work, or who works unpredictable hours, a 24/7 gym might be better because it offers more flexibility.

On the other hand, if you work 9 to 5, you might be fine joining a gym that opens at 6:00am and closes at 10:00pm.

While on the topic of time, it’s also worth talking about peak hours.

Because the problem with training at peak hours is that it can be very difficult to get a good workout in, because there’s too much traffic (too many people).

During the week, Monday to Friday, you’ll tend to find that the peak hours are between 6:00am and 8:00am. These are the people getting a workout in before work.

Then it peaks again between 4:00pm and 7:00pm, which is the after-work crowd.

At the weekend, the peak hours tend to be between 9:00am and 11:00am.

This is something to just be mindful of.

#3 The Culture/Environment

This is so important because you have to like the place.

A good way to look at it, right, is that you’ve put money down on a gym membership, so obviously you intend on going there on a regular basis.

The environment and the culture has to be right for you.

I’ll give you an example:

I’ve been to gyms in the past where I’ve walked in and certain staff members who have been on reception haven’t even greeted me.

This is actually laughable, because it takes no more than five seconds to look at somebody, smile and say hello.

It’s just poor customer service.

All I can say here is go off your gut instinct.

Ask yourself, what is the energy like in this place?

What I mean by this is, what are the people like that go there?

What are your fellow gym members like? What are the staff members like that work there?

Then think about the atmosphere.

Ask yourself, is it to your needs? Is the layout right for you? What about the lighting, and the music playing in the background?

Can you tolerate it?

At the end of the day, right, you have to feel comfortable and motivated to train in that environment, because if you don’t, you won’t go.

I would highly recommend that everybody does this, before they sign a long-term contract.

#4 Costs and Contract

So now that we’ve got the most important things out of the way, let’s talk about price and cost.

Because let’s be honest:

The gym has to fit within your budget, and you have to be able to afford it, so this is something to be mindful of.

A good thing to do here is compare prices with other gyms in your chosen location. Compare the monthly cost, but also look at the yearly cost, because many gyms will give you a discount if you pay for the membership yearly up front.

Be mindful of contracts and things of that nature, too. A lot of gyms require a joining fee, so be sure to ask about that.

It’s also worth knowing about the cancellation policy, that way you’re not walking in blindfolded.

#5 Is Access to Special Features or Classes a Necessity?

This is definitely something you should be aware of before you join any gym. Let’s say, for example, you’ve got somebody who likes doing group classes.

Well, does this gym even offer group classes?

Do those classes line up with this person’s schedule, which I talked about in point two?

I personally know some people who will not join a gym unless it has a sauna, a pool area, and a steam room, so it all comes down to personal preference.

You’ve got your spit-and-sawdust bodybuilding gyms, which, from a cleanliness perspective, often aren’t the greatest, and the equipment can sometimes be a little dated.

But some people choose to go there because of the community, the culture, and the environment.

Then, on the opposite end of the spectrum, you’ve got high-end gyms. These are more like health clubs.

Some have tennis courts, squash courts, restaurants, and workspaces, so people who work from a laptop can get work done while they’re there.

Again, it’s about knowing what you want outside of the weight room.

#6 The Cleanliness of the Gym

You know what? I get it…

It’s practically impossible to keep any gym spotless because, at the end of the day, these places are full of people, with people coming and going all day.

And to be fair, sometimes it’s not the cleaner’s fault; it’s the people who go to that particular gym.

For example, at the gym I go to, not so long ago, there was a guy drying his feet with tissues, and after he finished, he just threw the tissues on the floor.

The thing is, the bin/trash-can was right next to him. It’s things like that you need to look out for.

When it comes to inspecting the cleanliness of any establishment, not just a gym, a good place to look is the toilets, because cleaning habits are often revealed in how clean or dirty they are.

This applies to most public spaces, whether gyms, restaurants, hotels, and so on.

#7 Equipment Quality and Variety

In my opinion, every single gym should have up-to-date equipment because, let’s be real, faulty and damaged equipment can be dangerous.

Health and safety and all that.

Just imagine a guy lying on a bench, pressing a significant amount of weight…

If that bench is damaged, we’re potentially looking at big problems here.

Also worth mentioning is the variety of equipment.

Because most gyms will have dumbbells, barbells, treadmills, and the basics, but not every gym has a sled, and a prowler track, and not every gym has sandbags.

So it comes down to knowing what you want, but more importantly, what you need.

When it comes to investments, people generally think of financial-related stuff — we’re talking real estate, crypto, the stock market, gold, savings accounts, things of that nature.

But this isn’t where investing starts.

You see, a library card gives you access to books, so it allows you to expand your mind.

A gym membership allows you to work on your physical fitness, which, of course, is not just good for your body but is also good for your mind as well.

And obviously, for these two things to compound positively in the right direction, you actually have to use them.

So let’s talk about the benefits of owning a library card and a gym membership, because I’d actually argue that these are probably the two most valuable cards, you can have sitting in your wallet.

Benefit #1: Reading Is Food for the Brain

Many, many people who are, quote unquote, “non-readers” seem to think that reading (especially) when it comes to non-fiction books — is just about filling your head with knowledge.

And yes, you can certainly gain knowledge by reading books, but there’s more to it than that.

The analogy that I like to use is that for a plant to grow, it needs to be watered well.

You see, when you read, you actually have to sit down, you have to pay attention, you have to focus — and even better if you are sat there taking notes while you’re reading.

It is food for the brain.

And the beauty of this is that you do not need to spend hours each day doing this.

As little as 30 minutes per day is more than enough to make the habit sustainable for most people.

Benefit #2: Reading Improves Your Vocabulary (Without You Trying)

When it comes to improving your vocabulary, many, many people think it’s all about shoving your head in a dictionary and memorizing words.

But I’d actually argue that this is a poor, poor way to improve your vocabulary.

You see, when you read books, you’re probably going to come across words that you wouldn’t encounter in everyday conversations.

You’re also going to learn what these words mean, because you’ve seen them used in different contexts.

Like I said, this is much, much better than shoving your head in a dictionary.

And some people might be questioning this and thinking to themselves, “Well, how is being articulate going to help me in the real world?”

And I’d actually argue that it can be a massive help, because if you’re able to express yourself and explain things more clearly and precisely, people are more likely to listen.

So in the workplace, for example, this can be a huge, huge benefit, especially if you’re in a management position or customer-facing role.

It can also help you in relationships — think with your spouse and with your children.

This is actually a hidden benefit of reading:

It improves the way you speak.

Benefit #3: Reading Increases Your Knowledge

When it comes to smarts, I always say a bit of book smarts and a bit of street smarts is where it’s at, so you’re kind of in the middle.

So this is a guy who possesses common sense and people sense, and this is gained through real-world life experience.

On the other hand, he’s also knowledgeable in his chosen subjects because he’s well-read, and this is where a library card comes in.

You see, when you read books, you’re gaining second-hand knowledge from the author.

You’re gaining access to new information, new ideas, and facts, depending on the book that you are reading.

And of course, this not only improves your knowledge base, but it can also help you with regards to making better decisions in your life.

And because this world is changing so, so quickly, you have to be constantly updating and upgrading your knowledge, otherwise you’re going to be left behind.

This is why a library card should always be in your wallet.

Benefit #4: Strength Training Builds More Than Muscle (It Builds Confidence)

I’m just going to be frank with you:

The reason I call it bullshit is because it is bullshit — you do not become confident by faking it, you become confident by becoming competent.

And you become competent in your chosen domain by achieving goals and improving your capabilities, and this is where strength training comes in.

You see, with strength training, the progress is very, very measurable, and you’ll more than likely see improvements very quickly.

For example, if you compare somebody’s lifting technique from month one to month ten, there’s probably a massive improvement — that person will probably notice that they’re able to lift heavier weights.

They’ll also notice that their body has changed drastically due to the work they’ve put in.

This builds confidence, and this leads me perfectly on to the next point because strength training is not only good for the body, but it’s also good for the mind as well.

Benefit #5: Strength Training Can Be Good for Your Mood

If you're interested in reading a study, click this link

The mind and body is really connected, and when you train one, the other often benefits as well.

You see, when strength training and lifting weights, it requires you to be present in the moment.

Not to mention that when you move the body, you also release feel-good chemicals — you release endorphins.

This is very, very good for your mental health.

I would honestly go as far as to say that strength training and meditation are two sides of the same coin, and any powerlifter will tell you…

That if you have a heavy barbell sitting on your back, it is practically impossible to think of anything else other than squatting down, moving, and coming back up.

It requires you to be very present in the moment and psychologists and gurus will call this mindfulness.

Benefit #6: Strength Training Can Help You Live Longer

I’ve saved the best till last, and that is:

Strength training can potentially help you live longer.

And of course, other things matter as well — we’re talking sleep quality, nutrition, relationships, stress levels.

It’s like a circle, and they all connect. For somebody to live a long life, all of these things need to be connected.

So it’s not as black and white as me saying “just go to the gym and you will live longer.”

But according to studies, strength training, when done in moderation, is very, very good for you.

For example, according to studies it can help improve bone density.

According to studies, strength training can help prevent sarcopenia, which is basically somebody losing muscle mass as they age.

And According to studies, strength training is very good for metabolic health — think blood sugar control and things of that nature.

There are tons and tons of benefits to strength training; it isn’t just about looking good in the mirror.

And you know what the beauty of all this is?

Let me repeat that:

Less than $50 a month. Now that’s what I call a proper investment.

Since this is a self-improvement website, I'd be doing you a massive disservice if I didn't talk about breakups, because the truth is, they will happen to practically everybody at some point in their lives.

The reason why I say this…

Is because women are often encouraged to talk about relationship issues with friends and acquaintances, whereas the average guy isn't doing this.

Not to mention, if a woman has broken up with you, she probably checked out the relationship months ago without you even noticing.

So when she does break up with you, it hits you like a ton of bricks.

To make matters worse because she checked out the relationship months ago, when she does finally drop the bad news, she seems completely unaffected which kind of hurts even more.

Well the good news is that there are solutions, but before I discuss those, let’s first talk about the reality of breakups and why they hurt so much.

The Reality of Break-Up’s

The reality is that it’s like you’re coming off drugs, and to make matters worse, you ain’t tapering off it, you’re going cold turkey.

You see, when you’re with somebody, your brain and your body releases chemicals. We’re talking dopamine, cortisol, oxytocin just to name a few.

And let’s just say the sex was regular:

That’s a high in itself.

Not to mention, when you’re with somebody, you sort of just get used to them being around. You get used to the conversations and you’ve also created memories with this person, so it’s understandable that you would miss them.

So I really do empathize with anybody who is going through a breakup, because it is tough.

It is a rough ride.

But there are solutions…

#1 Accept the Break up for What It Is, and Allow Yourself to Let Go

This is where it starts. It starts in your mind.

You’ve got to acknowledge the breakup.

There is absolutely no point dwelling on it, and even worse, there is no point trying to win her back, because, like I said earlier in the article, if a woman has broken up with you, she probably already checked out of the relationship months ago.

In other words, when she did break up with you, her mind was already made up.

A very, very good way to look at it, right, is that you are at the bottom of a mountain, and for you to get to the top, you have to slowly take steps forward.

There is no point going backwards, because if you go backwards, you are not climbing the mountain.

It means giving her back her belongings so there’s nothing in your home that reminds you of her. If you’ve got photographs together, get rid of them.

In fact, burn them and watch those photos turn into ashes.

If she’s on your social media (Instagram, Facebook, whatever), untag all the photos of you and her together.

To be frank, it would probably be a good idea to just delete her and block her completely, because that way the algorithm can’t show you her profile when you’re on the platform.

What you are doing here is creating distance, and when you create distance, you allow yourself to let go.

This is a huge, huge part of dealing with the breakup.

#2 Get Yourself a Gym Membership

So because she’s broken up with you, you’re now back on the dating market.

Congratulations you’re a free man.

So now you’ve got a bit more time on your hands because you’re no longer seeing her, so you might as well get yourself a gym membership.

Start working out, start taking care of yourself, and more importantly, start feeling good about yourself.

If you remember, early on in the article I basically said that when you break up with somebody, it’s like you’re coming off drugs.

You see when you get your body moving and sweating, you release endorphins. It’s kind of like a high.

Not to mention, on average (and I do want to emphasize the words “on average”), women tend to prefer men with athletic bodies, so you’re kind of killing two birds with one stone here.

Because, one, you’re looking after yourself (physical exercise can help with low mood, etc.), and two, because you’re now back on the dating market, if you get yourself physically fit and in shape, you potentially start becoming more physically attractive to single women.

This is what you want to be doing. Get yourself a gym membership and use it.

#3 Spend Time With Friends and Occupy Yourself With Work

Seriously, one of the worst things you can do is isolate yourself and become a recluse.

It will more than likely not do you any good at all.

A very, very good way to look at it, right, is that you’re now single and you now have a lot more time on your hands.

This is a benefit.

And if you’re somebody in your early to mid-20s, my guess is that you’ve got friends/acquaintances who aren’t all in relationships. You’ve got friends/acquaintances who are single themselves.

So enjoy yourself:

Go out, party, travel if you can. Travelling is a great healer, not to mention, you will probably create a ton of new memories.

To be fair, even work helps.

When you’re at work you’re occupied, while at the same time, surrounded by other people.

You want to get around other people, and this leads me on to the final point.

#4 Jump Back Into the Dating Game When You Feel Ready

Healthcare professionals are probably going to scoff when I say this, but I’ll say it anyway:

Let me repeat that:

One of the best ways to get over a girl is to get with another girl.

You see, when you’re with another girl, you’re probably not thinking about your ex.

In fact, it will probably do you the world of good.

And this isn’t me saying to get into a full-blown relationship with this new girl. Not at all.

That probably wouldn’t be wise.

You want time to do its thing, and you want to heal and be ready before you move into another long-term relationship.

What I am saying though:

Is have some fun, play the field, get laid.

And the thing is, right, this might actually turn out to be a blessing in disguise because further down the line you might meet another woman, and she’s actually better than your ex.

She’s an upgrade.

So, for those that don’t know, unilateral exercises are basically exercises where you train one arm or one leg at a time.

That’s the easiest way to describe it.

And to be fair, when it comes to the upper body, you’ll often see guys doing unilateral exercises.

For example, a single-arm dumbbell row is a unilateral exercise, a single-arm horizontal press is a unilateral exercise, and a single-arm overhead press is again a unilateral exercise.

So the upper body isn’t a problem.

But I’d actually argue that’s where most of the benefits of unilateral training come from.

And this is why I’ve written this article because if you understand the benefits of unilateral exercises, it might just encourage you, next time you’re at the gym to actually do them.

So let’s get into it.

#1 Unilateral Training Fixes Imbalances

This is probably the benefit that’s going to appeal to most people, and that is unilateral training corrects muscle imbalances.

You could say it irons out weaknesses.

I’ll explain how it works.

You see, one of the problems with barbell training—even though barbell training is so good for developing strength—is that it allows the stronger side to take over.

Every single one of us has a more dominant side, whether that’s the right side or the left side.

But unilateral training doesn’t offer you that luxury, because you’re holding a kettlebell or a dumbbell or whatever tool you’re using with each arm separately (see image above).

And to use an example let’s say, you can overhead press a 20kg kettlebell for ten reps on your right arm, but when you go to your left arm you can only do eight reps because the left side isn’t as strong.

Well, now you’ve just exposed a weakness—and because you’re aware of that weakness, you can train the left arm a little bit more so it catches up with the right arm.

This is a huge, huge benefit of unilateral training.

#2 Unilateral Training Improves Stability

This is a huge benefit right here and probably my own personal favourite, and that is unilateral exercises expose stability issues in real time.

For example, it’s not uncommon to see guys squatting heavy weights but once you put them on one leg, you see them shaking, wobbling, and all over the place.

One of the reasons why is because they’ve rarely done single-leg exercises; they’ve always done exercises where they’re on two legs.

The analogy that I like to use, which explains this perfectly, is that you could spend loads and loads of money on a house but if the foundations are weak, it doesn’t matter how much money you spend on top.

Because once the weather gets nasty and once the weather changes, it’s only a matter of time before the house comes crumbling down.

#3 Unilateral Training Improves Core Strength

This really ties into the previous point, but it deserves a section of its own.

When you go unilateral — whether that’s one arm or one leg — your core has to fire in order to stay balanced and stable.

For example, anyone who’s ever done a single-arm farmer’s walk will tell you, they have to consciously keep their core nice and tight.

The same thing happens when you do a Turkish get up (see image above) it’s essential that you keep your core nice and tight.

It’s exactly the same when doing a single arm overhead presses (see image #1) core engagement is key.

As I said earlier, when you go unilateral the mind-muscle connection is on another level because it requires more stabilization.

#4 Unilateral Exercises Makes You More Athletic

I've already done an article on the benefits of training like an athlete, and if you want to learn more click this link and give it a read.

Anyway, there's a huge transfer to your chosen sport when you do unilateral exercises.

Why?

Let's take running for example:

When you're running, you're switching legs—you're on one leg at a time. If you're in a combat sport and you're kicking (see image above) you're on one leg.

If you're on the field and you're cutting from side to side, you're going from one leg to the other.

Unilateral exercises like forward and reverse lunges, lateral lunges, and lateral bounds, these kinds of exercises can help you when it comes to your chosen sport.

And again, from an injury-prevention perspective, unilateral exercises are fantastic here because if you're doing these single-leg exercises in the gym, it means when you're on the field, track, or ring, you're less likely to get injured.

#5 Unilateral Exercises Allows You to Use Lighter Weights

Talk to seasoned gym rats and you might hear something along the lines of…

And I actually agree with that statement.

This is smart training—and this is exactly where unilateral training comes in.

Take the example of someone who can squat 400 lbs. It’s very unlikely they’ll be able to squat that amount of weight on a single leg.

The weight has to drop dramatically, and this doesn’t always mean it’s a downgrade because unilateral work gives you better limb-to-limb symmetry (as discussed in #1) plus more stability and core demand (as discussed in #2 and #3.

These are real pros.

But at the same time this isn’t me saying you should never do bilateral exercises (working both limbs at the same time).

Because bilateral work has benefits also, especially when it comes to building raw strength.

The truth is, a good training program should include both. You don’t sleep on either of them.

I’m not going to come on here and say that IQ doesn’t matter because there are certainly benefits to having a high IQ.

For example, those who have high IQs tend to learn concepts faster. These are the people who are going to school and scoring high on academic tests, and obviously this can open doors.

Another benefit of having a high IQ is problem-solving, and of course in certain professions this can be really, really valuable—so think mathematics, science, engineering, programming, things of that nature.

So, like I previously said, there are benefits to having a high IQ, but here’s the thing:

And I’d actually argue that emotional intelligence, or EQ as some people like to call it, is more important.

And this is what I’m going to be talking about in this article.

#1 EQ Helps You Actually Use Your IQ

So let’s just get straight to the point…

If you have a guy who has a high IQ as well as a high EQ — you’re basically looking at leadership material.

And the two examples I’m going to be talking about here, who possess both are soccer managers Carlo Ancelotti and Jürgen Klopp.

So for those that don’t know Carlo Ancelotti has won the league in Italy, Spain, France, Germany, and England.

He is the ONLY manager to do this.

The guy is a tactical genius — he can adapt to different systems, countries, and eras.

So no doubt about it, his IQ is very, very high. But what sets him apart is actually his emotional intelligence.

This guy is able to manage big egos, he’s able to connect with his players and adapt to different cultures.

I truly believe that Ancelotti wouldn’t have achieved the success that he has, if it wasn’t for his emotional intelligence.

Another example of a manager who possesses both is the German Jürgen Klopp. Jürgen Klopp has won the league in Germany and he’s also won the league in England.

When it comes to tactics he’s a genius — very, very smart.

He’s able to build a very strong emotional connection with his players — and with the fans as well.

Jürgen Klopp is loved and adored by many, many people, and you could say that’s down to his emotional intelligence.

Not to mention the guy is extremely self-aware — he’s the first person to say when he’s made a mistake and own up to his mistakes.

And one that makes him more likable and two it makes him more relatable — that’s emotional intelligence.

#2 Smart Doesn’t Mean Self-Aware

A big, big part of emotional intelligence is self-awareness, and just because somebody has a high IQ that doesn’t automatically mean that person possesses true self-awareness.

For those who don’t know, there’s a psychologist named Tasha Eurich who did some research to gauge people’s self-awareness, and what she found was that only 12 to 15% of the people she studied actually possessed true self-awareness—despite the fact that 95% thought they did.

It’s rare, and I’ll be the first to say you should take studies with a grain of salt.

But here’s the thing:

Even from my own personal experience of dealing with people, I know that not many people possess it.

It’s a quality held by few.

In this article I’m not going to talk too much about self-awareness because I’ve actually already done one on it..

If you’re interested, give it a read by clicking/tapping this link.

#3 People Often Remember How You Made Them Feel, Not Your Test Scores

In numerous articles that I’ve created, I’ve talked about the importance of open and honest communication.

It is absolutely essential. One of the reasons why relationships end is due to a breakdown in communication.

They stop communication openly and honestly with each other.

And once resentment kicks in and people stop trusting each other, it’s often downhill from there.

There’s a reason why I’ve titled this section of the article:

“People often remember how you made them feel, not your test scores”

Because amongst academics, having a high IQ is sort of bragging rights — a bit of a status symbol.

But the thing is, the average person couldn’t give a damn about somebody’s IQ score. They really couldn’t.

The way I like to put it is this:

When it comes to friendships, marriages, business partnerships things of that nature, it’s emotional intelligence that helps those things survive.

It’s not intellectual horsepower.

#4 IQ Is Mostly Fixed… EQ Is Trainable

This is actually a very, very underrated benefit, because unlike IQ, EQ is trainable.

In the past, people have tried loads of different things to try and improve people’s IQ, but at this moment in time they’ve all been unable to really do that.

I say “at this moment in time” because it wouldn’t surprise me if, in the future, that changes.

The image above sums up emotional intelligence perfectly:

1. It’s self-awareness

2. It’s self regulation (healthy coping mechanisms)

3. It’s working on your social skills (if this is something you struggle with)

4. It’s empathy (Seeing things from the other person’s perspective)

5. Understanding your motivations and passions (Knowing what makes you tick)

I would honestly go as far as to say that, from an ROI perspective, improving your emotional intelligence is one of the very best things you can do.

🚨 Warning 🚨

Let’s first begin by addressing sexual consent.

This article is NOT about manipulating women or using pressure tactics. She is in charge and will ALWAYS have the final say as to whether you both have sex or not.

Sex is ONLY consensual when both of you agree.

When it comes to pulling women, there are generally two things that will make or break your success.

The first one is your environment — the town or city that you’re in.

Every place has its own energy, its own vibe, and you’ll get a real sense of this through experience.

It’s also worth mentioning the country you’re in.

For example, women in Western countries tend to be freer and more open than women in many other parts of the world, and that makes a big difference.

The second thing is the quality of your wingmen — the lads you’re hanging around with.

And this is what I’m going to be talking about in this article, and by the end of it I’m pretty sure you’ll understand why the quality of your wingmen is so important.

#1 Skills Are Caught, Not Taught

If you really want to learn how to pull women the very best way to do that is to surround yourself with guys in the real world who are successful with women.

The analogy I like to use is this:

When you’re learning to drive technically you’re not really learning how to drive, you’re just learning how to pass the test.

It’s only once you’ve got your license and you’re out driving on your own that you start actually learning how to drive well.

Well it’s kind of the same with my written articles.

My aim is to point you in the right direction and it’s only when you hang around with guys in the real world who are actually successful with women that you start seeing — with your own two eyes — exactly what works and what doesn’t work.

And this leads me perfectly onto the next point.

#2 You Inherit Their Standards

In the intro of this article I basically said that it boils down to two things.

No. 1: Your environment — that’s the town, city, or country you’re in.

No. 2: Your wingman — that’s the lads you’re hanging around with.

So what I’m going to do now is explain the above in a bit more detail. Using an example so you understand it.

Take a guy who has two different groups of friends.

In the first group, every single lad is out there approaching women, talking to women, flirting with women, and potentially pulling them.

In this group approaching women, flirting with women — it’s completely normalized. It’s just what they all do.

So naturally, when this guy is in this group, pulling women feels a lot easier for him.

Now let’s look at Group two because the vibe in this group is completely different.

When he’s with this group, he finds it much harder to pull and the reason is simple:

It’s because the lads in this group aren’t interested in pulling women at all. When they go out, their focus is on getting drunk, singing, dancing, and partying.

So naturally, it’s harder for him to pull in Group two than in Group one.

The analogy I really like is a player playing for a sports team.

When a player is on a better team, he often gets better — not because of his natural ability, but because of his environment.

The environment demands more from him. He’s surrounded by better players.

#3 Confidence Is Contagious

This really ties into the first point:

Skills are caught, not taught.

You see when you hang around with guys who are successful with women in the real world, you’re basically seeing with your own two eyes exactly how these guys operate.

And even among guys who’ve been successful with multiple women, you’ll often find that they still get rejected.

Nobody has a 100% win rate.

But what these guys do is handle rejection with a completely different attitude to most people.

They’ve developed a thick skin — not because they don’t feel it, but because they’ve been rejected hundreds of times before.

You’ll watch them get rejected, then 10–15 minutes later they’re already chatting with another group of women.

We can tie this back to the sports analogy because it’s the same principle.

Look at teams that win the league year after year. They don’t win every single game — they lose some too.

But when they lose, they don’t dwell on it for long. They simply move on to the next game.

The mentality for pulling women is more or less the same.

#4 You Get Real Time Feedback

You could call it learning on the job.

It’s like with anything, the more you do something, the more you start spotting patterns.

For example, you might notice that you have way more success when you approach a group of women with one guy rather than another.

Another example:

Might be noticing that when you approach women too early in the night, you often get nowhere.

Every interaction, whether it’s a win or lose, is just feedback in real time.

Not to mention, that having a good wingman can be beneficial in the sense that — he’ll point out your mistakes, but he’ll do it in a constructive and helpful way.

#5 It Kills the Scarcity Mindset

You see, when you hang around with guys who are successful with women in the real world, you see with your own two eyes that these guys get rejected too.

Nobody is immune to it.

So you start to internalize the fact that if these guys are getting rejected and they’re just moving on and still experiencing success with women, then that’s what’s possible for you as well.

They’re not fixated on the woman or women who have rejected them.

Metaphorically speaking, they get punched in the face, accept it then move on.

Remember:

There is plenty more fish in the sea.

A big reason as to why many people fail when it comes to achieving their fitness goals is their mindset.

A lot of people have an all-or-nothing mindset, which is basically black-and-white thinking.

For example, let’s say you’ve got a guy who, for the majority of his life, hasn’t paid much attention to what he’s eating, and from an exercise perspective, doesn’t really do much.

And for whatever reason, he now decides he wants to change his situation. So what he does is go on crash diets and starts exercising excessively.

Initially he sees results, but eventually he burns out because he’s doing too much, and with time goes back to the way he was previously living.

The cycle continues:

Come January the following year, he starts setting New Year’s resolutions and does the same thing he did previously — crash diets, excessive exercise, initial results, then burnout.

Here’s the key:

It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

And when it comes to achieving most fitness goals, it’s consistency that wins, not perfection.

So let’s talk about the things that actually work.

#1 Small Gradual Changes Over-Time Rather Than Extreme Overhauls

The analogy that I like to use, which perfectly describes this, is a child learning to walk.

You know yourself that when a child is born, they can’t walk — they have to go through stages.

They have to learn how to crawl before they can walk, and very often when they are learning to walk, they fall many, many times before they actually grasp it.

The point I’m getting at here is that the changes are gradual — it takes time, and this is often the approach that works best when it comes to making changes in your life that stick.

So, let’s say, for example purposes, you’ve got a guy who’s overweight, and for all of his life he’s practically consumed junk food.

For him to completely change his eating habits in a short period of time would be extremely difficult.

What he can do, for example, is eliminate soda and soft drinks and consume water instead.

So nothing else changes — he continues eating the same foods, but rather than consuming soda and soft drinks, he’s now consuming water.

And if he’s able to do this for one week, he then moves on to stage two, which is consuming a high-protein breakfast.

So do you see where this is going?

It’s small, gradual changes over time, and the reason why this tends to work is because it generates small wins — and small wins build confidence.

#2 Prioritising Whole Foods and Protein While Avoiding Fad Diets

If you go on social media, there are plenty of people selling us fad diets — we’ve got no-carb diets, we’ve got no-fat diets, we’ve got low-fat diets, low-carb diets, the list could go on.

But here’s the thing:

Protein, fats, and carbs are all macronutrients, and what that basically means is that in order for your body to function at its best, it needs all three of those food groups.

This is why I’m not a fan of fad diets — you need all three.

The analogy that I like to use is that your body is kind of like a car, and for the car to move — for your body to move — it needs the right fuel.

And this is where whole foods come in, because unlike junk foods, whole foods actually nourish the body.

Whole foods feed the body, whereas junk foods are highly palatable, high calorie while also being low in nutritional value.

And this isn’t me saying never consume junk food because there needs to be balance.

But what you’ll tend to find with people who are able to keep the weight off for good is that their diets tend to be predominantly whole food diets, and they tend to consume enough protein, throughout the day.

Protein especially (animal protein) keeps you feeling fuller for longer.

#3 Training in a Way That Is Sustainable

I will always promote strength training because, from a body composition perspective, it’s what gives people the best results.

Number one, you build muscle. Number two, it increases your resting metabolic rate, which basically means you’re burning more calories throughout the day, even when you’re not exercising.

This is what most people want.

But it’s also important to note that the best form of exercise is actually the one you enjoy doing, because if you enjoy it, you’re far more likely to stick with it in the long run.

Let’s say for example purposes, you’ve got a guy who really enjoys playing badminton and for whatever reason hates strength training even though he has given it a go for substantial amount of time.

Then he should probably continue playing badminton and knock strength training on it’s head, because enjoyment keeps him going back.

Which keeps him consistent.

A very, very good question to ask yourself before starting any program is:

Because if you can’t, then that program probably isn’t right for you.

#4 Allowing Flexibility So That Fitness and Nutrition Doesn’t Rule Your Life

I always say that fitness is supposed to make your life better. It’s not supposed to put you in a cage, yet it does for many, many people.

For example, I’ve heard of bodybuilders waking up at 2:00 in the morning to consume a protein shake so that they can get their macros in.

I’ve also heard stories of people going to weddings and taking Tupperware with rice, broccoli, and chicken—so they can get their macros in.

Basically, they don’t want to consume the food that’s on offer there.

In my personal opinion, this approach is just too extreme, and you don’t need to live this way to attain results.

Balance is super important, and when it comes to a workout program, you want to make sure it caters to your life.

It should never take over your life.

This is one of the reasons why I’m a massive fan of full-body workouts, because full-body workouts only require you to be in the gym up to three days a week, and you can get very good results by training this way.

Obviously, this is providing that you’re managing your sleep, your nutrition, and your stress levels—but you get the idea.

And when it comes to nutrition, the same thing applies.

It’s okay to eat junk food every now and again. You don’t need to be a perfectionist.

Remember, consistency is what wins the game, not perfection.

The rule that I like to follow is the 80/20 rule:

80% of the time I consume nutrient-dense whole foods, and 20% of the time I can be flexible and eat whatever the hell I want.

Remember, balance is key, and so is having a life as well.

In a previous article, I basically said that there is no self-improvement without self-awareness — the two really go hand in hand.

And a big part of self-awareness is taking full responsibility for your life:

And to be fair, there are certain things outside of your circle of influence.

For example, the country you were born into — some people can have an advantage because they were born in one country rather than another.

Another advantage that someone might have over another person is the family that they were born into.

If someone were born into a rich family, that person might have better opportunities in life.

Those are just two examples, but the point stands:

You need to be mindful of what you can control versus what you can’t.

And a big part of taking full responsibility for your life is focusing on and changing the things within your control — and this is what this article is all about.

So let’s get into it.

#1 Don’t Depend on Others for Your Happiness

There’s a couple of things that I want to clear up with this, and that is:

This isn’t me saying “become an island.”

This isn’t me saying that needing people is a weakness, because obviously that isn’t true at all — human beings are social creatures, and we thrive when we’re surrounded by the right people.

But what I am saying is that it’s not wise to give people the controller or steering wheel to your inner life, because it will more than likely cause you problems.

Because you cannot control people — people have bad days, people will change, people will disappoint you, people will leave you.

Metaphorically speaking What the tweet above is saying (my interpretation) is that the controller and steering wheel is in your hand — so don’t give it to anybody else.

#2 Stop Playing the Blame Game

A big, big problem with playing the blame game is that it leaves you powerless — it doesn’t empower you at all.

If you want proof of this, just go on social media and you’ll see plenty of people playing the blame game.

Examples include:

Blaming your parents, blaming the government, blaming the economy, blaming AI, blaming immigrants — the list could quite frankly go on.

But like I said, it doesn’t empower you at all, because if you’re somebody who likes to play the blame game, then that more than likely means that you aren’t looking at yourself.

And you know what, I get it — there are certain things that are outside of your control.

I totally understand that.

So you know what the sane thing to do is?

The sane thing to do, is accept the things that are outside of your control and move on.

It’s much better to focus on the things that you CAN control.

In Stoicism, they call this the dichotomy of control, which is basically directing your energy and attention on the things that you can influence.

And trust me when I say this:

In this mad world that we live in, this keeps you sane.

#3 Choose Your Influences and Inputs Consciously

There’s a quote attributed to Bruce Lee, and it goes something along the lines of:

And you know what?

I couldn’t have said it better myself, because in this world that we live in, we are constantly being influenced and molded.

For example, this article that you’re reading right now is a form of influence.

The ads that you see on billboards are a form of influence.

The ads that you see on the television are a form of influence.

It’s everywhere.

So probably more than ever before, is it important to think critically and think for yourself.

So what does this mean?

It means looking at both sides.

It means looking at the pros, looking at the cons, looking at the positives, looking at the negatives.

It’s balanced thinking.

And if you’re interested in learning more about balanced thinking, I’ve done an article explaining this in more detail.

#4 Accept Negative Emotions

So what this is about is emotional acceptance, and what that basically means is you allow yourself to feel whatever emotion shows up.

So you're not pushing it away, you're not fighting it, and you're not judging yourself for having that emotion.

And you know what, I get it — this is a lot easier said than done.

But anyway, the analogy that I like to use is that your emotions are kind of like the weather inside of you.

And you know yourself that you can't change the weather, so you adapt.

For example, if it's raining, you get the raincoat on, or you're grabbing the umbrella before you go outside.

If it's sunny outside, the shorts are coming on.

If it's snowing outside, the winter jacket's coming on.

Your emotions work very much the same way, your emotions are automatic, just like the weather.

So you allow yourself to feel your emotions.

The keyword here is adaptability.

#5 Practice Self-Compassion

The thing about taking full responsibility for your life is that it’s all on you — I can’t do it for you.

Yes, I’ve written this article, providing you with the information that hopefully benefits you, but ultimately it’s all on you.

And to some people, that can be burdensome, and you know what, I get it, because taking full responsibility for your life is not easy.

You are going to make mistakes.

You are going to mess up, and this is fine.

Nobody has given you a manual on how to live your life. We’re all essentially just learning and winging it as we go, myself included.

I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life, and you probably have as well.

So it’s important to treat yourself like you would treat a best friend — with love, compassion, and acceptance.

And the beauty of treating yourself this way is that it allows you to make mistakes, learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself, and move on.

And that’s a key part of taking full responsibility for your life.

At some point in your life, you've probably come across the maxim:

And, to be fair, on the surface it seems like reasonable advice — because who doesn't want their wife to be happy?

It's the woman you've chosen to marry, so it kind of makes sense.

But here's the thing:

It's actually terrible marriage advice, because when it's followed, it often leads to both of you being unhappy.

That's the irony.

So let's talk about this in more detail.

#1 It Creates Passive Men and Ungrateful Women

So let’s start this section of the article by going over a few things that tend to happen when a guy adopts this “happy wife, happy life” mindset.

No. 1 is that he starts letting things slide because he thinks it’s his duty to keep her happy.

No. 2 is he essentially becomes a yes-man in order to avoid conflict.

And No. 3 is he ends up prioritizing her emotions over his own.

He doesn’t challenge her when she’s in the wrong. He tolerates disrespect because he has no boundaries, and he says yes when deep down he really wants to say no.

He’s basically a doormat.

And the irony of all this is that he thinks he’s doing the right thing, but the side effect of this behavior is that it often leads to a woman not respecting him.

I’d actually argue that in a long-term relationship, it’s much, much better for a woman to respect you than it is for her to love you.

And in a long-term relationship, your happiness matters just as much as hers.

And this leads me perfectly into the next point.

#2 It Basically Implies That Your Happiness Doesn’t Matter

If you break down this maxim, what it’s implying is that your happiness doesn’t matter.

In the intro of this article, I did say that there’s nothing wrong with wanting her to be happy, because at the end of the day, she’s the woman you’ve chosen to marry.

But that doesn’t mean you need to sacrifice your own happiness in order for that to happen.

And this maxim is far from mutual.

It’s basically a mindset that turns a marriage into a customer service job.

#3 You Ain’t Responsible for Her Happiness (She Is)

So, while we’re on the topic of maxims I'm going to share with you, one that I actually like.

And that is:

Happiness is ultimately an inside job — the only person who can make you happy is yourself, and vice versa for her:

The only person who can make her happy is herself.

And this isn't me saying become an asshole and don't compromise and don't meet in the middle, because in a relationship you will have to do all of those things.

It's just me saying don't become a people pleaser and get yourself into a lopsided relationship.

If she's pissing you off, you just need to be open and honest and just tell her, and vice versa for her — she should be telling you when you're pissing her off.

In fact, you should encourage it.

And this leads me perfectly on to the next point.

#4 It Just Kills Communication

One of the problems with the “happy wife, happy life” mindset is that the entire model — if that’s what you want to call it — is based on avoiding conflict and not resolving it, and this often leads to resentment.

It leads to resentment on both sides, and once resentment fully kicks in, communication tends to go downhill.

In previous articles, I’ve basically said that the glue that holds people together is good communication — open and honest communication — and sex.

If those things are absent in a relationship, don’t be surprised if either person starts looking outside to get those needs met.

And the thing is, a lot of guys seem to think that women only cheat because they’re not getting their emotional needs met, but that’s not always the case.

Some women will cheat because they’re not getting their sexual needs met.

There are a lot of women out there who are sexually liberated and love sex, and the perfect example of this kind of woman is Samantha from the television series Sex and the City.

#5 A Better Maxim Is Happy Spouse, Happy House

In my opinion, of course, this is a much, much better maxim because it's not implying that it's all about her.

In a mutual relationship, you both need to be bringing value to the relationship, you both need to be working together to make it work.

At the end of the day, this is the way I look at it:

You should be improving her life, but at the same time she should also be improving yours as well.

In other words you both benefit by being together.

So for those that don’t know, cortisol is the stress hormone and in small doses and in moderation it ain’t a problem.

For example, it’s cortisol that gets you up first thing in the morning.

In a fight-or-flight situation when you need to act, it’s cortisol that gets you to do that.

So in those situations cortisol is not a problem.

And the side effects of cortisol when it is there for prolonged periods of time aren’t pretty.

So think anxiety, think muscle loss and fat gain, think a weakened immune system.

All things that ain’t good for a man.

So let’s get into the article and talk about seven things that you can be doing, that lowers cortisol levels naturally.

#1 Make Sleep a Priority

I’m just going to be honest with you from the get-go, and that is I’m not going to be talking too much about sleep in this post.

And the reason why is that I’ve already done an article explaining the benefits of deep sleep.

So if you want to learn more, click this link and check it out.

Anyway, sleep is one of the best things you can do — to basically destress. And study after study backs this up.

Well, I’m going to take this a little bit further and say, that you probably don’t even need to read the studies.

Because you probably know from personal experience how you feel when you’re sleep-deprived versus how you feel after a good night’s sleep.

I’m just not myself.

Contrast that to when I’ve had a good night’s sleep and I just feel much, much better.

#2 Laugh as Often as You Can

The reason why this is #2 is because laughing, just like sleep, is free.

You don’t need to pay anything to laugh.

And again, you probably don’t even need to read studies on the benefits of laughing because you probably already know this from personal experience.

My guess is, you probably felt good in that moment.

And you know what? I get it — because of the stresses of modern-day life, especially as an adult, sometimes you can just forget to have a laugh.

But there’s things that you can do.

For example, you can watch stand-up comedy.

Watching 60 minutes of stand-up comedy is not time wasted — it’s an investment in your health.

Because when you’re laughing your head off for those sixty minutes, it’s going to make you feel good and it’s going to help you destress.

Even better, if you hang around with people in the real world — who are just generally funny, have a sense of humour, and don’t take life too seriously.

Find ways to laugh every single day.

#3 Be Careful With Exercise Selection and Avoid Over-Training

Physical exercise is really a double-edged sword because when it is done properly and in moderation it will destress you — it will get your endorphins moving around so you’ll just feel better about yourself.

However, pick the wrong forms of exercise or do too much of it and it will do the opposite:

It will stress you out.

A really good example of this is let’s say you’ve got a guy who works super long hours and the job in itself is super stressful.

The worst thing that you could do for that guy is put him on a powerlifting program because lifting super, super heavy weights is just going to stress him out even more.

He probably needs to be doing lighter forms of exercise such as yoga and walking.

Yoga and walking tend to destress you.

And what studies show is that endurance training — so think long-distance running ramps up cortisol production.

For most people who just want to look better naked, the sweet spot is two to three days a week of strength training and walking every day.

#4 Be Mindful of Your Caffeine Consumption

I know a lot of people aren’t going to like this because, let’s be honest, coffee tastes so damn good and smells so nice.

But here’s the thing:

Caffeine can ramp up cortisol production.

There’s a reason why they put it in pre-workouts — it’s because it works.

It gets you buzzed up and gets you going.

And to be fair to coffee, it ain’t all doom and gloom because there are some benefits to consuming coffee.

For example, it can help with bowel movements, so it’s basically cleaning out your system — not a bad thing.

According to my research, it can also help with diseases like Alzheimer’s and type 2 diabetes — again, not a bad thing.

It’s full of antioxidants — again, not a bad thing.

So when it comes to general recommendations what is it we’re looking at?

Three cups per day is what’s recommended and not drinking it too late during the day, so that it interferes with your sleep.

Because remember it is a stimulant.

The problem with caffeine for many people, is overconsumption of caffeine.

However when it is taken at the right time and in moderation, it’s generally speaking ok for most people.

#5 Use Adaptogenic Herbs

Did you know that there are certain herbs you can take called adaptogenic herbs that are known to lower cortisol levels?

Some good examples of these herbs are Cordyceps, Ashwagandha, and Rhodiola rosea.

Basically, what these herbs do is just balance things out — kind of like a thermostat.

When the room gets too hot, it cools down.

When the room gets too cold, it heats up.

I’m not going to talk too much about these herbs because I’m not a healthcare professional, so this is something you need to look into and research yourself.

If you’ve got any questions, speak to a qualified healthcare professional who can guide you on whether these herbs are right for you or not.

#6 Make Time for Relaxation

This probably matters more than ever before because we’re working longer hours and we’re also spending more time looking at screens.

And depending on what sort of content you are consuming online, this can impact your cortisol levels for the better or for the worse.

Let’s say, for example, you’ve got somebody who just consumes the news day in and day out for hours on end.

This is probably going to negatively affect that person’s cortisol levels because, let’s be honest, the news generally speaking is just pure negativity — it’s all doom and gloom, it’s all the things going wrong in this world.

So it’s just something to be mindful of.

And there are things that you can do to just relax yourself.

So, for example:

• Cutting down on your screen time, especially before bed.

• Going on nature walks — walking in nature is known to lower cortisol levels.

• If you can afford it, getting massages on a regular basis.

It’s the old saying:

And there’s a lot of truth to that proverb.

So yes, work hard and yes work smart, but just as importantly play hard as well.

#7 Be Conscious of the People You Hang Around With

A big, big stressor for many people is relationships.

So this could be a toxic work environment, this could be family dynamics, this could be friends and associates that you hang around with.

The point I want to get across here, is that you want to cut out the negativity because it affects you whether you like it or not.

So this can be people that complain on a regular basis — these people more often than not, don’t look for solutions, they just like to moan, groan, and do nothing.

You can put your negative Nancys in that group as well — these people just tend to have a negative outlook on life.

Obviously, people that do drugs and get up to no good — you don’t want to be around those types of people aswell.

In this article here, I basically said you are the people that you hang around with. In other words, association breeds similarity.

If you’re interested, feel free to check it out.

It’s never been easier than ever before to become a Renaissance man, and the reason why is that we’re all carrying smartphones in our pockets.

Let’s just say, for example’s sake, that you wanted to learn the skill of woodworking.

You could literally learn this skill in the comfort of your own home—you could watch courses online or you could watch YouTube videos, and so on.

You don’t even need to go to a class in the real world.

So before I start talking about the hobbies you need to be doing, let’s first define what a Renaissance man actually is.

That way, we’re both on the same page.

What Is a Renaissance Man?

So a Renaissance man, or as I like to call it, a well-rounded man, is basically a guy who’s cultured.

In other words, this is a guy who’s traveled a lot and is well-educated (self-taught.)

He’s also competent in a number of fields.

And if we’re looking at an example from the past, Leonardo da Vinci comes to mind.

He was competent in a number of fields.

If we’re looking at a modern-day example, Elon Musk fits the bill.

Not only has Elon been successful in the technology industry but he’s got electric cars that sell well around the world, and the guy is sending rockets into space.

He’s a very good example.

And this isn’t me saying that you need to become exactly like Musk or Da Vinci, because that’s more than likely not going to happen.

Those two are absolute freaks, and I mean that in the nicest way possible.

But what I am saying is that you can take a leaf out of their books and become skilled in a number of fields.

So let’s talk, about the five hobbies in more detail.

Hobby #1 A Physical Hobby

You can have all the money in the world, you could be a multi-billionaire, you could even be a trillionaire, but if you haven’t got your health, are you even wealthy?

I’d say the answer is a resounding no.

Health and fitness is truly the foundation to living a good life, because without it you can’t do anything.

And this is why a physical hobby is so important.

This could be strength training, this could be running, this could be hiking, this could be mixed martial arts, this could be yoga—you get the idea.

It has to be something that you individually enjoy doing.

Me personally, I would always recommend everybody—man, woman, and child—to do some form of strength training.

The reason why is because, from a health ROI, strength training gives you the biggest bang for your buck, especially when it is done properly and in moderation.

But like I previously said, it has to be something that you specifically enjoy.

Hobby #2 A Mental Hobby

What you’ll tend to notice with a lot of financially successful people is that they tend to be readers.

They tend to read books.

And some people might say that books are like software updates for the human brain.

Let’s just use the smartphone as an example.

Forty years ago, if you turned around and said to the average person that practically everybody on this planet is going to be walking around with a personal computer in their pocket, you would have probably been told no way.

That’s impossible.

But this is the reality of modern-day living.

It was Zig Ziglar—the personal development speaker—who said something along the lines of

And what he’s basically saying is that the consumption habits of a poor person and a rich person tend to be different.

Well I’ll add to that quote:

Because you don’t even need a big library.

You can get a library card for absolutely nothing in most Western countries and rent the books free of charge.

So when it comes to books, I’d recommend starting with biographies.

Why?

Because these are some of the most powerful books you can read, because if you’re reading the biography of a high-level person, you’re seeing how that person thinks, how they act, and how they deal with problems.

It’s kind of like having a conversation with that person.

Put another way:

Reading expands your mental toolkit.

Hobby #3 An Artistic Hobby

What I’ve personally found in my own life is that I’m the happiest when I’m either building or creating something.

If I feel this way, there’s probably a high likelihood that others feel the exact same way too.

And if you want proof of this, just go around your local town centre and have a look around—what you’ll see are buildings that are man-made.

The fact that you’re here on this planet should tell you something:

Mom and dad got together and created you.

But let’s just keep it PG here because I don’t want to start putting images in your mind and disgust you.

But you get what I’m saying.

So when it comes to artistic hobbies, what are we talking about here?

Examples might include creative writing, recording YouTube videos, painting, drawing, playing an instrument—you get the idea.

Like I’ve mentioned previously, this has to be something that you enjoy doing, because when you enjoy it, you’ll continue coming back to it.

Hobby #4 A Social Hobby

A well-rounded life requires relationships.

It requires giving back.

In other words, isolation kills the Renaissance spirit, because at the end of the day human beings are social creatures.

We thrive when we’re around like-minded people.

To put it another way, in the wild the lone wolf dies—he needs his pack to survive.

So when it comes to social hobbies, what are we looking at here?

This could mean volunteering at a homeless shelter, volunteering at a food bank, or volunteering at your local library.

It could also mean coaching a youth soccer team, mentoring somebody, and passing down your knowledge.

It could also mean attending Toastmasters and working on your public-speaking skills.

In numerous articles on this website I’ve talked about the importance of open and honest communication.

In this article I basically said that—alongside good sex—open and honest communication is really the glue that holds couples together.

Communication is so, so important.

Hobby #5 A Hobby That Requires Working With Your Hands

I mentioned this earlier in the article, but it’s definitely worth repeating, and that is:

And in the artistic hobby section of this article, I talked about creating — in this section, I’m going to be talking about building things.

So examples here could be woodworking, blacksmithing, repairing stuff around the home… it’s basically anything that has you working with your hands.

And what you’ll tend to find is that when you build something with your bare hands, it’s extremely satisfying.

At some point or another, you’ve probably come across the saying…

I believe Jim Rohn, the personal development speaker, popularized this idea.

And to be fair there is some truth to it, because our brains are wired to adapt to our social environment.

You could say that each and every single one of us, is a product of our surroundings and if you need proof, just listen to how someone speaks because this often tells you where they are from.

I’m actually a perfect example of this because if you were to judge me solely on my skin color, you’d probably assume that I am Indian.

Yet, culturally there is nothing ‘Indian’ about me as I was raised in a small, working-class town in England.

If you were to put me in India today, the locals more than likely wouldn’t accept me as one of their own.

My example illustrates how your environment shapes your identity.

So before we dive into the main talking points, it’s also worth noting that your environment isn’t just the people around you physically.

It’s also the people you follow online because whether you like to admit it or not, they are influencing you, for better or for worse.

#1 Behaviors and Mindsets Are Contagious

A great way to explain this is to use a sporting example, as this is what many people will relate to.

So just imagine, for a second, a soccer player on a mid-table team. This team never finish at the top, but at the same time they finish at the bottom either, season after season, they remain somewhere in the middle.

Then, a top-tier team spots potential in one of their players and signs him up.

After a brief settling period—about five or six months—you notice a major improvement in this player’s performance while playing for his new team.

His natural ability hasn’t changed.

He is now surrounded by better coaches and better players, and the expectations within his new group are much higher.

In other words, his environment forced him to improve; it had nothing to do with his raw talent.

And this makes perfect sense because attitudes, behaviors, and mindsets do rub off on people.

If you hang around with winners who succeed, that mindset will influence you.

Conversely, if you surround yourself with people who lose on a regular basis, that negative pattern can also rub off on you too.

The company you keep is incredibly important.

#2 Beliefs Are Subconsciously Influenced

If you actually look at the word “culture,” the word “cult” is right there in it.

And, this is telling.

Because if you look at people from different social class backgrounds, different subcultures, and even different religions, what you’ll tend to notice is that they dress the same way, talk the same way, and act the same way.

Keyword here is tend.

For example, when I was in school, there were two dominant subcultures:

The “chavs” on one side and the “moshers” and “goths” on the other.

For those outside the UK, a “chav” is basically someone who comes from a low-income background and tends to engage in antisocial behavior. Musically, they listen to hardcore dance music, drum and bass, or hip hop.

Clothing-wise, they wear sportswear.

Moshers, on the other hand, were into metal music. They tended to have piercings, grow their hair long, wear baggy clothing, and dress entirely in black.

When I was in school, those were the two dominant subcultures.

Now, I know a lot of people might say what I’m saying is a bit old-fashioned or just stereotyping. But to be fair, you can tell a lot about a person by the people they hang around with.

At the end of the day, people tend to associate with others similar to themselves; it’s just human nature.

There is a lot of truth to the saying, “Birds of a feather flock together.”

#3 We Want to Fit In

What you’ll tend to find is that as you grow older and become a lot more comfortable in your own skin, the need and drive to fit in subsides.

It’s still there—it never really goes away—but it’s nowhere near as strong as, say, it was when you were a kid or a teenager.

When you’re a kid/teenager, sometimes you will do stupid things just to be accepted by the group.

And if you look at this from an evolutionary psychology perspective, it’s basically a survival mechanism.

Think about what would have happened during our hunter-gatherer days, if the group abandoned us, we probably would have died.

So, it is in our best interest to be part of a group. You could say that we (humans) are herd animals.

This is why kids and teenagers especially, will do dumb stuff just to be accepted by their peers.

#4 The Groups Trajectory Impacts Yours

I touched on this in the first point when I was talking about that soccer player initially playing for a mid-table team, then moving to another team that’s higher up the table, and then improving as a result.

Because he’s around better players, it improves him.

But let’s use another example to drive this point home:

You could have a poor person who’s been poor for a large portion of his life and let’s say you put that poor person around five rich people, and let’s say he spends a significant amount of time with these rich people.

What would probably end up happening is that poor person would end up changing.

He would more than likely end up becoming rich himself, because like I said earlier, mindsets, values, attitudes, behaviors, etc., are contagious.

And this works both ways.

For example, you could have a guy who’s never done drugs in his life, never drunk alcohol, basically lived a clean, healthy life.

And then you put him around people who drink and take drugs on a regular basis.

I’m pretty sure that guy would probably start drinking and maybe start doing drugs just because of the people that he’s hanging around with.

Just think about it for a second—in that drinking and drug culture environment, that’s the standard behavior.

That’s the behavior that’s acceptable within that group.

So the overall point of this article, is choose your friends/associates wisely, because you are being influenced whether you like it or not.

This is just just something to be VERY mindful of.

What you’ll tend to find in January, when people quote unquote want to “lose weight,” is that they often gravitate towards steady-state cardio — particularly jogging.

And to be fair to jogging, it does have some benefits.

For example, it does burns calories and can boost your metabolism for a couple of hours afterwards.

So that’s not bad.

If you’re somebody who hasn’t exercised in a long time and you start jogging, you’ll probably notice some strength improvements in your legs and you may initially see some weight loss as well.

Again, not bad.

However, there are much better options and if I were grading jogging from a fitness‑effectiveness standpoint, I’d personally give it a D.

Meaning it’s not a C, B, or an A, so it’s far from the best, but it’s still better than doing nothing.

So what I’m going to do for you in this article, is first explain the downsides of jogging so that way you understand why I gave it a D.

Then afterwards, I’ll then share two alternatives that are much, much better.

So let’s get into it.

#1 Jogging Can Increase Cortisol Levels

So, for those who don’t know:

Cortisol is the stress hormone, and it generally works opposite to testosterone.

So when testosterone is high, cortisol tends to be lower, and vice versa—when cortisol is high, testosterone usually comes down.

The problem with jogging, especially when done for prolonged periods, is that it can lower your testosterone levels.

So for me personally, I classify long-distance jogging as something of an anti-male exercise.

It’s not something I want to be doing for extended periods.

That said, if you’re a man and you enjoy jogging, you should probably keep on doing it, because you are more likely to stick to exercising if you enjoy the activity.

However what I want to make clear is that jogging shouldn’t be your sole focus.

From a physique-development perspective you should be doing other forms of training, which I’ll later be discussing.

It’s also worth noting that excess cortisol can break down muscle tissue, which many people don’t want.

Just look at the physique of a marathon runner:

Yes, they often have low body fat, but they can also be extremely skinny—skin and bones as I like to call it.

#2 Long Distance Running Taken to the Extreme, Breaks Down Muscle Tissue

Let’s continue from the previous point.

Years ago—I’m not sure whether this is still circulating now—an image compared the physique of a marathon runner and an Olympic sprinter, and they look completely different.

As you can see in the image above, I have replicated that image:

The marathon runner is on the left and the Olympic sprinter is on the right.

Look at the marathon runner, he’s basically skin and bones, there’s nothing to him. Now look at the Olympic sprinter on the right — he’s pure lean muscle.

If sleep, nutrition, and stress management are dialed in, your body will adapt to whatever exercise you give it.

A marathon runner, who needs to run long distances, doesn’t benefit from carrying lots of muscle; it would weigh him down.

In contrast, an Olympic sprinter needs to get from A to B as quickly as possible, so they need that fast‑twitch, lean muscle for acceleration and power.

From a physique-development perspective, sprinting is hard to beat as a form of cardio. It burns body fat intensely and also builds lean muscle.

The main drawback is the injury risk and this is because of the demands sprinting places on the body.

However, you can mitigate that risk by sprinting uphill which reduces top end speed and therefore impact forces.

Plus the added resistance due to sprinting up hill also helps with regards to building more muscle which of course isn’t a bad thing.

#3 Long Distance Running Can Also Be Problematic From an Injury Perspective

The rock‑solid truth is that there’s an actual technique to running, yet most people don’t know how to do it because they haven’t been coached or trained.

Just imagine somebody hitting the pavement five, six, seven days a week—mile after mile.

Ankle, knee, and hip problems are common among runners and many will encounter these issues at some point because of that repetitive stress.

Honestly, if I had to choose between walking and long‑distance running as a form of cardio, I’d choose walking.

Not only is walking safer, but from a cortisol perspective (see #1) it’s much better.

In contrast to running, walking is therapeutic and actually relieves stress.

So now that you know the downsides of jogging, you probably understand why I’ve graded it a D.

So let’s talk about the two things you can do if we’re talking purely from a physique‑development perspective.

#4 Strength Training

So, basically, if somebody just wants to look better naked then strength training is an absolute must it’s non-negotiable.

This applies to both men and women.

Strength training gives your body shape and raises your resting metabolic rate, which means you burn more calories throughout the day.

This is what most people want.

Three days a week of full-body workouts is all that’s required. Obviously, you also need to manage stress, eat well, and choose the right exercises but If you do those things, you will build muscle.

In a previous article I talked about about improving your appearance. In it I said that before you even bother with clothes and fashion, put muscle on your frame.

You see when you have muscle, your clothes will just naturally fit better.

A perfect example of this:

Is an athletic guy wearing a $20 T‑shirt from Target and it looking expensive because of his body and shape, while you could have an overweight guy wearing a $300 T‑shirt, yet it looks sloppy again due to his body and shape.

The most expensive clothes is really an athletic body — and you can’t buy that in a shop.

You have to earn it.

#5 High-Intensity Interval Training (HIIT)

So let’s explain HIIT, or high-intensity interval training, so you understand what it is.

It’s basically short bursts of very intense exercise followed by brief rest periods — that’s the easiest way to describe it.

You can do this with sprints:

Go all out as fast as you can, and when you feel your speed dropping off, stop and walk back to the starting point.

That walk back is your rest period.

I wouldn’t recommend that someone who’s brand new to exercise to start sprinting on the ground, because they’re more than likely to get injured, however they can mimic this using machines at the gym instead.

For example, someone could use an assault bike:

Go all out for 10–15 seconds, take a short rest, then repeat for several rounds.

At some point in your life you’ve probably come across the following two phrases.

The first is:

We’ve all heard that one before.

The second is:

And yes, while these phrases sound and feel good, are they actually helping anyone?

Because I’d argue that they’re not.

In fact I actually prefer the phrase:

Because once you begin to accept reality as it is and confront the facts about life, that is a major sign of maturity.

It’s growth!

And this is what I’m going to be talking about in more detail.

So let’s get into the article.

#1 Don’t Ignore Life’s Realities

So let’s kick this off by discussing a few uncomfortable truths about life.

The first uncomfortable truth is that one day you are going to die — and so are your loved ones.

We’re only on this planet for a short period, and we’re all essentially living on borrowed time, so you’ve got to make the most of it.

The second uncomfortable truth is that your parents will disappoint you, or they probably already have.

Nobody was given a manual on how to be a parent, we’re all essentially just winging it. If you’re a parent yourself, you probably understand this on a deep level.

The third uncomfortable truth is that every relationship has an expiry date.

Sometimes the people who are with you at the start won’t be with you at the end. Relationships are temporary, just like your life on this planet.

The fourth truth is that you ain’t special. You might have been told otherwise as a child, but the reality is you’re one person among billions.

The fifth truth is, that you probably spend more time on your phone than you’d like to admit.

If you checked your phone settings and saw how much time you actually spend on it, it would probably pee you off.

All those hours, days, and weeks looking at that screen is time you will never get back.

I don’t know who you are or whether you have read my articles before, but I’m going to assume you appreciate this honesty.

Because let’s have it real:

We live in a world where most people sugarcoat the truth.

#2 Don’t Blame Others for Your Problems (It Makes You Powerless)

So do bad things happen to good people?

Absolutely.

This world that we live in is far from perfect, and you probably already know this.

For example, modern-day slavery still exists. There are children who don’t have access to basics such as food and running water. In some countries, women are still treated like second-class citizens.

I’m sure you’ll agree that none of those things should be happening—but they are.

The point I want to make is this:

We’ve all essentially been dealt a set of cards, and just like at a poker table, all we can do is play the hand we were given.

Because if you are constantly blaming other people, you’re not taking responsibility or looking for solutions.

And let’s be honest:

Every single person, no matter who they are, has some problem or another.

That’s a fact of life.

And when dealing with problems, it’s often better to adopt a solution-oriented mindset.

Which basically means focusing on what you can do rather than what you can’t because more often than not, there is always a solution to a problem.

Is the solution always ideal or everything you want?

Sometimes no—but more often than not, there is a way forward.

#3 Let Go of Expecting Others to Change

Now let’s have it real:

What causes a lot of people pain in life is relationships and to be frank, it’s naive to think people will change for your sake.

Like I said earlier in the article, you are not special.

And this happens all the time in the real world, you see people getting into abusive relationships, even though they know full well that this person is bad news.

Some people hold this fantasy that they can change them.

The best you can do is nudge someone in the right direction, and even then they have to choose to change themselves — it has to come from within.

The unfortunate truth is that for many people who have had dysfunctional childhoods, those patterns tend to bleed into adult life.

I’ll share a personal example.

When I was at school there was a lad I was close to — I considered him my best friend. Around the age of eight or nine his dad died and he didn’t handle this well at all, and he changed.

By the time he was a teenager, around 13 or 14, he was using drugs and hanging around with the wrong people. It got to a point where I had to back off.

From what I later heard, he has done time in prison and now has problems with alcohol.

When I think back, that wasn’t the kid I knew at school before his father died — he used to come to class, put his head down, and do his work.

It’s really unfortunate.

This isn’t just true for friends; sometimes it’s true for family members, aswell.

With some people you need to keep them at arm’s length because of their own destructive behaviour.

The truth is, there’s only so much you can do for others.

#4 Don’t Assume That Others Share Your Interests or Goals

It’s that old saying that went around the internet years ago:

If you go on Facebook and announce you’ve just got a new job, you’ll get loads of engagement — likes, comments, congratulations.

Now, say years later you go on Facebook and post you’ve started a new business.

It’s crickets. Nobody says a word.

You could argue the reason is that we’ve all been given a life script:

Go to school, get an education, get a job, get married, have kids. So if you’re somebody who goes against the grain, it’s naive to expect everyone to support your goals.

One of the benefits of the internet and the times we live in now, is that you can find your tribe and community online.

I’ll use this website as a prime example:

It’s all about self-improvement, however in the real world I rarely talk about self-improvement, because the average person isn’t interested.

In person I usually talk about sports, politics (if the person is sound minded), the weather just general stuff.

So if you are looking for an online community and my content just happens to resonate with you, feel free to subscribe and check out the articles that I have written.

So in this article, I’m going to share the five things that women, on average, aren’t sexually attracted to.

The key phrase here is:

And the five things I’m going to talk about aren’t bad per se. They only become a problem when a guy leads with them when dealing with women.

Ultimately, most guys want women to like them for who they are, not because of the lifestyle they can provide or the things that they own.

So let’s talk about this in more detail.

#1 Your Money

I want to make this abundantly clear:

In fact, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be financially successful. You could say it’s money that makes the world go around.

For example purposes:

You need money to put a roof over your head.

You need money to put food in the fridge.

You need money to turn the lights on.

And your need money to live in a safe, low-crime neighborhood.

Money itself isn’t the problem.

The problem is when guys lead with their wallets when dealing with women. And that usually happens because they lack the fundamentals such as physical fitness, social skills, self-awareness, wit, and charm.

What you’ll often find with a lot of rich guys is that back in school, many of them were nerdy and socially awkward. As a result, they got very little female attention.

The guys who were getting the attention were often the athletes, jocks, and party boys.

So a lot of these nerdy types come to the realization, that they don’t have the social fundamentals, but what they do have is raw intelligence (high IQ) and drive.

So many of them — not all, became rich as a result.

Now that they have money, they suddenly became more visible to women.

They might flaunt it by driving a nice car or by living in a certain neighborhood, etc.

So these guys aren’t entirely wrong when they say money works because in a way, it does work.

Before, they were invisible to women. Now they’re getting attention.

But what money doesn’t do is sexually attract a woman. It doesn’t arouse her. It doesn’t turn her on.

It does nothing for her vagina.

#2 Your House

This really ties in with the previous point because you need money to buy a home, but I’d actually call a home a fake status symbol.

Let me tell you why…

Number one: It can be given to you. If you’re born into a rich family, your relatives might just hand you a home.

It has nothing to do with your character, your personality, or who you are as a person.

It’s just pure luck.

Number two: very few people actually own their home outright.

Most people are essentially renting it from the bank.

So if you don’t even own it, is it really a status symbol?

And if we’re talking purely from a sex appeal perspective, what does owning a home do for a woman?

The answer is nothing.

If you look at a house from a logical perspective, it’s just bricks. It’s just shelter — a roof over your head.

It’s not designed to turn anyone on.

#3 Your Car

Just like a house, a car is a crappy status symbol.

For one, it can be given to you. For two, it can be borrowed.

For example, I could go rent a Lambo for a week, drive it around and pretend that I own it—even though I don’t.

The point I’m making here, is that if you see somebody in an expensive car it doesn’t mean anything.

And during my party days, I would see guys pulling up to nightclubs or bars in nice cars, purposely making a scene just to get female attention.

The thing is though, in the 21st century especially in Western countries (where women work) there’s no need to do this.

Let’s just run a scenario:

Imagine a genuinely rich guy who actually owns his nice car (he didn’t rent it).

He pulls up to a bar, gets talking to a woman, grabs her number, and they start texting and meeting up.

Things progress and eventually become serious and long-term.

Fast forward five, six, or seven years. You later find out she only got with him because of his resources and the money he had.

Would it honestly surprise you, that she ended up using him?

Because look at the way the relationship started, it started with the guy leading with his wallet.

For example:

If you lead with your personality, that’s what she’ll focus on. On the other hand If you lead with your wallet, again that’s what she’ll focus on.

And let’s talk sex appeal because from a sexual perspective, what exactly does a car do for a woman?

She’s not exactly going to have sex with the handbrake is she lol.

Just like a house, a car does nothing for a woman—it just doesn’t turn her on.

#4 Your Job

This is actually quite common in Indian and South Asian cultures.

Still in many parts of Asia, marriages are arranged, and the arrangement is that the man will look after the woman.

I’ll use myself as an example…

I grew up in England, but even my parents drummed it into me that I needed to get a white-collar job.

And the reason why, was that it would make me more desirable to a South Asian woman.

But the question I want to ask, is this:

If a woman is marrying you because of your job title, does she even really want to be with you?

Does she even like you as a person?

Because if a woman is marrying you, because of what you do for a living, that’s a business decision.

Let’s say for example purposes, you lose that job — would she even stick around?

Because it’s not what her family signed her daughter up for and it’s not what she signed up for initially.

Her family wants somebody to look after her.

Now let’s talk sex appeal, because from a sex appeal perspective, a high paying job does nothing for most women.

When I was in my early twenties, hitting the bars and clubs, there were two guys in my friendship circle who would pull a different woman almost every week — and I’m not exaggerating.

They’d regularly walk out with someone new.

It had nothing to do with job titles. Both of them were still living at their mom’s house and neither of them were established within their careers.

The reason they were successful with women, is because they were confident and consistently put themselves in environments where they could meet single women.

It had nothing to do with money, cars, houses, job titles, or even IQ — which I’m going to be talking about next.

#5 Your IQ

Most women, on average, couldn’t care less about a guy’s IQ or the number he got on a test paper.

What you’ll often find is that when women say they like “intelligent guys,” what they’re really talking about is emotional intelligence.

Because getting along with people requires emotional intelligence.

Getting along with women, being able to hold a conversation and make them laugh requires emotional intelligence.

Being a good dad and being able to connect with your children requires emotional intelligence.

Even self-awareness, It’s a huge part of emotional intelligence.

And the beauty of emotional intelligence (EQ) is that, unlike IQ, it can actually be improved.

When I was a kid in the ‘90s, I grew up listening to hip-hop, and there was a song by Nas called “New York State of Mind.” In that song, Nas says something along the lines of.

Basically, what he meant (my interpretation) was that if you’re sleeping, somebody else is out there working—hence making themselves and not you, more successful.

But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that saying is just complete and utter nonsense, and I’m going to tell you why.

No. 1: When you are well-rested, you tend to make better decisions.

No. 2: When you are well-rested, you tend to be more productive.

No. 3: When you are well-rested, you tend to fuel your body better.

In other words, sleep just makes you a better human being. It’s a performance enhancer.

And if you’re health-conscious—which I’m going to assume you are, because you’re on the internet reading an article about sleep.

Then making it a priority, alongside physical exercise, alongside nutrition, alongside good relationships and alongside stress management, is one of the best things that you can do.

So, let’s talk about this in more detail.

#1 Deep Sleep Is Where Hormones Are Made

So, for those who don’t know, a large portion of a man’s testosterone is actually produced while he’s asleep. Testosterone is widely considered by many to be the male hormone and during puberty, it’s what turns a boy into a man.

It’s also worth mentioning that a large portion of growth hormone is released while you’re asleep and some call growth hormone (GH) the anti-aging hormone.

It’s no coincidence that after a good night’s sleep, your skin looks healthier and your eyes look brighter.

So when it comes to sleep what we’re aiming for here, is seven to eight hours of sleep per night. This is widely considered the sweet spot for most people.

The real key is consistency.

You want to try and hit that range every single night, not nine hours one night, four the next, and six the night after. Seven to eight solid hours, consistently.

And you know what, I get it — for a lot of people, good consistent sleep is difficult because as we get older, responsibilities pile up and sleep often gets pushed to the back burner.

All I’m suggesting is that you do the best you can and If you’re somebody who struggles with sleep, power naps can certainly be useful.

The key with power naps is to keep them short and sweet so that they don’t interfere with your night-time sleep, as sleeping too long during the day can make it harder to switch off at night.

For most people the sweet spot for a power naps is around 15 to 30 minutes.

#2 Deep Sleep Is Where a Big Chunk of the Muscle Building Process Occurs

Many people seem to think that muscle is built in the gym. But that isn’t actually true.

You build muscle in the kitchen by fueling your body with the right foods, and on the mattress while you sleep.

So let’s explain how it works:

When you resistance train or do any form of strength training, you’re stressing and damaging the muscle fibers, creating micro-tears.

Once you leave the gym, the real muscle-building process or more accurately, the muscle-repairing process — begins.

This is why your post-workout meal, rich in protein and carbs, is so important.

It’s also why consuming enough calories (protein, carbs and healthy fats) throughout the day matters so much.

Then what happens, is when you go to sleep later that night, a large portion of that muscle repair takes place.

You could say sleep, and muscle building go hand in hand.

But here’s the irony:

Hardly anybody in the fitness space talks about the importance of sleep. They talk about reps and sets, exercise selection, training splits, macros, and even motivation.

And yes, all of the above are important — I’m not saying they’re not. It’s just that sleep, one hundred percent needs to be part of that conversation.

I would honestly go as far to say that, if you’re not sleeping properly and not prioritizing your sleep, it is highly unlikely that you’ll achieve the goals you want.

And this leads me perfectly onto my next point.

#3 Deep Sleep Supports Fat Burning

If you compare fat burning while you’re asleep versus when you’re awake, what you’ll tend to find is that you burn more fat during the day.

The reason is simple:

So I’m not going to claim that sleep directly burns fat, but it does contribute indirectly.

Let me give you a personal example:

When I’m sleep deprived, I tend to notice that I crave junk food more. That’s because a lack of sleep disrupts two key hunger hormones:

No. 1: leptin

No. 2: ghrelin.

These hormones regulate your appetite, so when they’re out of balance, you tend to overeat.

And for people who struggle with sleep and weight loss It’s kind of like they are in a vicious cycle because number one, poor sleep leads to overeating and number two, poor sleep leads to reduced physical activity.

It isn’t just about discipline and willpower, as some people will have you believe, there’s stuff going on (hormones) behind the scene.

#4 Deep Sleep Strengthens the Immune System

When it comes to overall health, having a strong immune system is so important.

It wards off infections, helps wounds heal faster, and lowers your risk of picking up diseases.

Something I’ve noticed in myself—and you’ve probably noticed it in yourself too—is that when you’re sleep deprived, you tend to get ill more often.

Now let’s just have it real:

The last place you’re going to be when you’re sleep deprived and ill is in the gym taking care of yourself.

I know this might sound like a bit of an exaggeration, but I’d honestly go as far as to say that sleep is basically a legal performance-enhancing drug.

And best of all it’s FREE, with minimal side effects.

At some point or another, you’ve probably come across the quote by Charles Darwin that goes something along the lines of:

So what I’m going to do for you in this article is explain this in much more detail and make it far more applicable to the 21st century — because, obviously, times have changed.

And if you study nature, what you’ll tend to find is that it doesn’t reward past success. It doesn’t reward your carefully laid plans. It doesn’t reward how impressive you once were.

It rewards one thing and one thing only:

Your ability to adapt to a changing environment.

So let’s get into the article.

#1 Legacy Belongs to the Flexible

If you want proof that it’s not the biggest and strongest that survives, but the most adaptable, look no further than dinosaurs.

They were big, powerful animals, but when conditions changed, the dinosaurs couldn’t adapt to the new environment and eventually became extinct.

If you look at the food chain, humans sit at the top. Yet compared to other animals, we’re far from the strongest, the biggest, or the fastest.

What we are is the most adaptable. Human beings excel at coming together and working as a team — and that may be our greatest strength.

The law of the jungle (if that’s what you want to call it) doesn’t just apply to nature; it applies to the business world as well.

Threats are everywhere:

Potential lawsuits, aggressive competitors who may see you as a problem because you’re taking their customers, and constant disruption.

A perfect example of a company that failed to move with the times is Blockbuster. It was once the undisputed king of video and DVD rentals.

Then Netflix came along and changed the game by going fully online.

While Netflix adapted, Blockbuster stood still and as a result paid a massive price.

Today, according to reports, only one Blockbuster store remains. Its downfall is a sobering lesson every business owner should study.

The message is clear:

If you don’t adapt, you die.

#2 Too Much Comfort Is the Enemy of Survival

There’s a popular quote that says you’re either growing or you’re dying — there’s no middle ground.

And there’s a lot of truth to it.

Highly adaptable people tend to deliberately expose themselves to new challenges, new ideas, and new environments.

You must constantly update your knowledge and skills because the world is changing incredibly fast.

Just compare 1996 to 2026 because thanks to the internet, it’s a completely different world.

Now imagine what things will look like in another 30 years…

The job market is a perfect example of this shift. Before the internet, when you applied for a job, you were mainly competing with people in your own country or local area.

Today, depending on your profession you’re competing with talented people from all over the world.

For instance, imagine a customer service role at a company based in the US or UK.

A skilled worker in Thailand now has the potential to compete with you because she speaks perfect English, types just as fast as you, and has the advantage of accepting a lower salary (due to a much lower cost of living in Thailand)

This gives her a competitive advantage.

That’s how things have changed.

The bottom line is this:

You have to keep updating your knowledge and moving with the times. Because once AI and machines fully take hold, the world is going to change again — and only the adaptable will thrive.

#3 Resilience Beats Strength

When it comes to strength versus resilience, there’s an old fable that explains it perfectly:

The oak tree versus the bamboo tree.

To cut a long story short, you’ve got a forest with two trees side by side—the mighty oak and the bamboo.

On the surface, the oak looks big, powerful, and strong, with its massive, meaty trunk.

The bamboo? It looks skinny, frail, and fragile—not very strong at all.

Put it this way:

If you had to bet on which tree would fall over first in bad weather, you’d probably pick the bamboo.

But here’s what actually happens when a storm hits…

It’s not the oak that’s left standing—it’s the bamboo. The oak just stands rigid, refusing to adapt or change.

The bamboo, on the other hand, bends with the wind and shifts its form.

That’s why it survives while the oak topples and this is a perfect example of resilience over raw strength.

And the same principle applies to the human body:

Sure, it’s great to be a big, strong powerlifter—the oak tree of the gym. But if you’re ignoring the softer side of training, like mobility work and posture correction, you’re shooting yourself in the foot.

From a pure physical fitness perspective, it’s much better to be a generalist than a specialist and this leads perfectly to my next point.

#4 Specialization Can Be a Death Sentence

The perfect example of this in nature is the panda.

A panda’s diet consists almost entirely of bamboo. It’s very rare for them to eat anything else.

For now, this is fine because bamboo is abundant and widespread. But what happens if conditions change and bamboo becomes scarce?

What does the panda do then?

This is exactly how animals become extinct.

The same principle applies to humans, especially as the job market evolves. We all know AI and machines are coming — in fact, they’re already here.

Driverless taxis are already operating, which means the job of a taxi driver may soon disappear.

The same could be said for bus drivers, truck drivers, tram drivers, and train drivers.

The list goes on.

For example, I live in the UK, and a gas station near me used to be fully staffed. Now it’s completely automated.

You pull up, put your card in the machine, fuel up, and leave.

And to be fair, customers actually benefit because it’s quicker this way, and the company benefits by not having to pay staff.

Another example is the robot cleaner I saw at my local supermarket. My first thought was that this robot had taken somebody’s job.

It’s also happening in the tech industry to people with advanced degrees — highly educated professionals are losing their jobs to AI.

The solution is simple but not easy:

You simply have to move with the times, keep upskilling and adapting because the world is changing at a very quick pace.

Before I get into the main talking points of the article, there’s just something I quickly want to address.

They’re unattractive to the girl you like, unattractive to the lads you hang around with, unattractive to your family members, and unattractive to your work colleagues.

And to be fair, if a woman was exhibiting these behaviours towards you, I’m pretty sure it’d be a massive turn-off for you as well.

So, let’s get into the talking points.

Behavior #1: Chronic Complaining

I want you to notice that I didn’t say complaining — I said chronic complaining.

Because at the end of the day, you’re going to come across things that just piss you off.

That’s life.

There’s nothing wrong with venting your feelings — you could even say it keeps you sane.

What I’m talking about here is the kind of chronic complaining that happens day in and day out.

And if there’s one thing that makes a woman dry — for lack of a better word — it’s a guy with a victim mindset.

And we’re not talking slightly dry. We’re talking bone dry.

Think granny panties.

To put it another way, she ain’t heading off to Victoria Secret anytime soon to buy that lingerie.

So let’s just switch the conversation for a minute and talk about success.

Because to succeed in practically any area — whether that’s with women, whether that’s in business, or in the weight room — you simply can’t have a victim mindset.

You need an internal locus of control which basically means you focus on the things you have influence over.

Because if you don’t, this world will just drive you mad.

And a very good example here… Is a guy who bitches and complains because his favourite sports team lost.

But here’s the thing:

As a spectator, as a fan he has zero control over the outcome.

Number one, he isn’t on the field playing.

Number two, he isn’t managing the team.

So there’s nothing he can do.

So why get emotional? Why let it bother you? Why let it move the needle at all?

Do you see what I’m saying?

And before I move on to the next point, there’s a quote attributed to Buddha that I want to share with you.

It goes something along the lines of:

And while I think that quote is a bit too absolutist, there is definitely an element of truth to it.

And that leads me perfectly into the next point…

Behavior #2: Excessive Neediness

Just so we’re on the same page here, let’s define neediness.

My definition of neediness is somebody who needs constant validation and constant attention.

And here’s the thing:

There’s nothing worse than being around somebody whose hand you constantly have to hold.

It’s emotionally draining.

Now let’s go back to dating here and talk about the initial stages.

Let’s say you’re texting a girl back and forth. She’s texting you, you’re texting her and her responses back are relatively quick.

Then all of a sudden, just out of nowhere she ghosts you and you’re left scratching your head thinking why.

I’ve been there. It hurts because you often take it personally.

But here’s the thing:

Nobody has a 100% win rate. You win some, you lose some. And dating is a competition—whether you like it or not.

If she’s a good-looking girl with a half-decent personality, she’s probably got other guys texting her and sometimes you’ll lose out to other guys.

This is just the reality of dating. It’s the reality of any competition.

Anybody who has played sports will tell you that you don’t win every game. It’s the same for video games—even in that domain, even in the virtual world, you don’t win every time.

So all you can do when dealing with women—especially in the initial stages—is put your best foot forward.

If you win, fantastic. If not, there’s plenty more fish in the sea. It’s about having an abundance mindset.

Because let’s be honest:

There are billions of women on this planet. And to be frank with you, if a woman is rejecting you and it’s really, really bothering you, then that’s a self-esteem issue.

In a previous article that I wrote I basically said that the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself—and the reason why is because it impacts all other relationships.

When you get a minute, feel free to check it out by clicking this link.

Behavior #3: Being Overly Concerned With Your Appearance

I’m not going come on here and say that looks don’t matter. Because, to a degree, looks do matter.

But here’s the thing:

You don’t want to become obsessed with your appearance. You don’t want to be the bodybuilder guy who can’t stop looking at himself in the mirror.

You don’t want to be that Clav guy on the internet doing bone smashing.

You don’t want to be like Patrick Bateman from American Psycho, who’s completely obsessed with how he looks.

There’s a very fine line between caring about your looks and being obsessed with them.

And being obsessed turns most women off — big time.

Behavior #4: Putting Her on a Pedestal

Anyone with an ounce of self-awareness will eventually come to the conclusion that they’re far from perfect.

We all have imperfections. We all have a light side and a dark side.

So with that knowledge in hand, it only makes sense to treat people based on their behaviour — not because they’re pretty, not because they look good, and not because they smell nice, but because of how they act.

Yet you still see guys putting women on a pedestal, placing them above themselves.

Quite frankly, it’s a self-esteem issue.

And women often pick up on it and very often see it as you not respecting yourself.

If we look at it purely from a logical perspective:

Why should a woman respect a man? If he doesn’t even respect yourself?

It starts with you.

And let’s be real — she’s far from a goddess.

Number one, she poops on a regular basis.

Number two, she farts, burps, and sweats like everybody else.

Number three, she bleeds every 21 to 35 days because of her period.

Why?

Because they’re human, just like you.